~My E-Book~ Coming soon~

Hello all my followers, I am currently piecing together and writing a literary book filled with post and poetry some you have read and some you have not. I will hope to be finished by July.

Then onto my Thriller. Something tells me one day I’ll wake up and just write it out in a few days….. I just get stuck on this thriller since it is based primarily on events that occurred in my life. Excepts are here on the blog giving small details.

I want to thank you all for your time and inspiration.

Please look forward to my e book

It will be sold for a very modest price of 2.99.

It’s my first step to my full dream. We all must start somewhere.

Special thanks to Amy, my Editor.

Also I wanted to add, it is not to hard to publish an e book it’s rather easy as long as you have an editor that knows writing well. So go give it a try yourself! If I can do it do can you!


~My Message on Mental Illness~Change the World~Breaking Stigma one courageous step at a time~please hit the like button if you suffer mental illness~ thank you.

Lunacy of the mindCraziness of the heart Never letting go never to part. Mind racing from subject to subject

You see, the lunatic I speak of is me. I am always in thought, spinning out of control, mostly I care , I am an old soul.
Standing up, speaking out, I’ll educate, even during the lunatic state. Most creative in times of manic
As words flow like rhymes, I’ll feel the touch of something Devine. Thinking my self as super human impervious to danger, I’ll talk or walk up to any stranger.
Privileged to share my experience with some, but the heart of my message is yet to come. I feel overwhelmed favor when those want to know more about me, my illness and what I have done. Asking advice of me, listening well, I speak of only my truth to tell, to help, encourage, to give some hope, and strength, to no longer hide, but stand up with pride. Be who your are, this is the key that will get you far, far away from those who judge and doubt you, soon you will stand up and teach as I do.
My mission is simple to impart understanding, compassion from all in regard to mental illness both in the great and the small. Whether you deny or accept the truth that I speak will certainly convey whether you care or are weak, scared, judging our illness. We all have illness whether you care to admit. Like it or not we all are in this together, to weather the storm… By learning not judging will cause much less harm.
I’ll change this world, I’ll follow each step, with God next to me leading the way, waking each morning each day I pray.
Lord give me the strength to not run and hide, but the endurance to prevail and keep up in stride. I know I have a message to give, I’m certain this is why I’m still live. Should have died so many times in the past, but you watch over me making sure I last.
I’m the lyrical master of poetry and rhymes, but I’ll have much more to do than that to write in due time. Guiding my hand as I write down each word, trust in this, my message will be heard.
I’m coming into my own, took long enough to trudge through the shit all that mess it was ruff. Planted firmly I pray each and every day, not to sway or be fake, for the battle ahead is not mine to take. It’s left in hands stronger than mine, my Lord my King hands that’s Devine.
So let the words God gives me to say unto you inspire in me awaken the world their eyes to see, that so much unseen lurks all around, including mental illness to which many are bound. Let my enemies be left in your hands and lead me straight into your plans. I realize I’ll stumble along this path I must take,
But keep grounded alive and awake.
Let sleep renew each night in me, the courage the plans you entrusted to thee.
So when I feel beaten alone and deprived remember my purpose from you and why I’m alive. Thank you, and you, and you as well, you all in fact that God put in my path, whether you are still around or gone at long last.
Those who wish of me to go to hell and fail, sorry so sorry, for I will prevail. With God by my side and those who love me, in the right season you’re gonna see. May the reward of your intentions towards me I pray that soon oh so soon I shall see in the upcoming day. Much love, Namaste~

~I Fell on Black Days~

How would I know that this would be my fate?

So I am reading blogs I follow I come acros ~In the sky~ on the blog I follow https://andeverythingisbeautiful.wordpress.com/

I left a comment I am not sure he allows my comments to be viewed~

Chris Cornell was my main man when I listened to Soundgarden…. my anthem song was ~Black Days~

I would play it and sing loudly as a true prayer as I road to work each day in Paducah Kentucky.

I felt the song, the lyrics the cries and message in the song.

Any way I’m posting my comment I left on the blog ~And Everthing is Beautiful~ incase he don’t approve it.

Here is what I ………

FUCK!!!!!this is why I don’t watch the news! When I hear these things I get confused. I gamble my life and romance suicide often without anyone knowing. I learned to keep quiet. A steady crappy diet of shit that you can’t take. Perhaps it is my genre the gen Xers to take. We lived through huge change and battles & fears the tears all the years and you look up and see you lived half your life for sure, and you just stop wondering what it’s all for. I keep candles burning Day and night in remembrance of all I have lost to the grave.

Suppose there no words spoken to save.

R.I.P Chris Cornell

See ya soon……

~Fragility of Life~

A heart beating

Soul craving
A longing not yet known
A urge in all humans to not be alone~
It’s the rain on the roof in a strong summer storm
The walls we build up
To stay self preserved but not for long~
Life and the essence
Perpetual glow
Inner peace deep inside
Often we know~
The blindness unrecognized looking away
Rather not hurt
See what we want
Hear as we chose
Never wanting lose ~
Eventually it crumbles some unfortunate event
Tired not alert, completely spent~
Death, sweet death visits us all
Why are we shocked dismayed, fall? It happens to all, to all~
As surely you were born, open your eyes to see what is you will no longer be eventually~
Death does come closer so close everyday, so it’s living each moment to the fullest we pray~
“Fear” that element griping most all
We will all turn to dust we will crumble we will fall~
You can’t plan for sure what day that will be, but accepting this truth helps us….and you see, to be….. At peace in a subtle way just living forgetting about that dying day~
Fragility, beauty the delicate star shooting so high will fall oh so far
Burning out
Leaving a mark or so some hope……
Super nova’s are we bright surreal
But there comes a day you no longer will truly feel~
Pieces of ashes crumbles of rock flying around falling like the stars straight to the ground … Off into space, some place still unknown yet to us~
From ashes to ashes from dust to dust~

I will begin to draft all popular post and roll only the post I feel need to begin to be heard~ Thank you.

I will take my popular work and drafted it not be seen and run only the 1017 cypress excerpts, retribution, premise of my book, mostly DONNELL KERR POST… the bishop post my Momma’s post if I don’t see more support on these. It’s dear to my heart you read them, like them understand them, the pain in them and rejection in them. I follow you because I value you and your words. I like them. I need these to take prevalence. Thank you ahead of time for understaning . I mean these are serious post NO ONE should have to endure. Where is the empathy???where is the love from all you who follow me? These post hit home and have a story that is the catalyst that provoked my illness. Sure indeed these are the things that also inspire the writing you do love. It hurts that they’re just overlooked !

The post that roll after this are the ones I seek support and to educate all that read them. There are Also some really old post too from 2014, Thank you for your empathy understaning and support.


Hacked, shacked

Don’t look back

Freeing the space

Forgetting the chase

Finding your soul

Obtaining the dream

No more hurt

No voices scream

Trudging away

No longer to stay

Looking ahead to a brighter day

They search for you

Learn to hide

Taking each step

Methodical stride

Carefully planned not as absent as thought

Crazy you think?

Not as much as you know

The truth will reveal a marvelous show

When the cycle skips round

Make a loud sound

This time get up from the ground

Stand straight, stand tall

No longer to fall

You long for my words

You fed off my tears

For year and years

No fears

No need

Imperfection Devine

Its me you look for time after time

Never to find

Still alive in your mind


~So I drank red tree ants~

figured I share this since today has been a crying fest..

But that crying fest is because I miss my son very much. However the event I’m About to share turned the crying fest around when I realized that I drank ants.

No silly not on purpose.. Remember on
One of my recent post how I am addicted to this Ceylon imported peace tea.

Well I was going to take a med I needed.. And I was in the car after going run a few task.

I took my warm over night tea inside and took my pill, however I felt a bit more than my pill going down. I remember I have issues with frickin ants in my car..

It hit me, I poured what was left of my tea into a bowl and low and behold at least 20 ants came out of the can of tea..Yummy right?

Not really. Moral of my story, if you have ant problems in your car best not leave it over night, then decide to drink the rest.
Never know what’s creeping in the drink.

For me it was red tree aunts. Since I have a hard time eating lately suppose that will be my protein for the day.

Thank you for letting me share this, hope it elicits a laugh God knows I needed one.l

Peace tea and Ants… Yeah!


~To My Dad

To my loving Dad Nicholas John Moncada 12-15-31 to -1-1-2003 Love my Dad~ Greatest man I’ve ever known~ probably the only reason I truly understand love. That man loved me no matter what I did, he stood behind me through so much, and always always believed in me~ before he died he said “honey we wanted you to be a boy, but I thank God above your were a girl .
So glad you turned out to be a girl”

You live on, in me, and my son I named after you.. Last name and all~Nicholas Moncada !
You are greatly missed~