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~Couldn’t Hold A Candle to Me~Not even a Match to Light It~

Your words as an explosion left shrapnel stuck in my skin 

Trying hard to remove it

It’s not going to come out

Hitting hard deep within
I owe no explanation 

Inclinations are mine alone 

Clearly undefined

By your trifling serpent tongue
Did I leave shards of glass

While I uttered the words

“Kiss my Ass” sorry….. Back then 

Potty mouth a refined vernacular 

Mostly heard in the south 
I’m as Southern as Southern can be

Like the creole roots embedded in me
Bewitched I crawled under your skin

Truth be told no one wins 

We all have sins
Besides you crawled into my heart, ensuring somehow thick & thin we Will never part
Holding on to all the dysfunctional crazy lunatic shit

Always knowing it didn’t fit 

Or did we?

Hhmmmm I think we might 

Further more
Nothing truly ever fits 

Even our tailor made relationships

I’ll stay right hear to wait and see

Just how close you watch me
Loving it the entire time

Why lie

We all spy

Making ourselves a spectacle 

We love being watched
Others watch too 

Surely you know it’s not just me or you

But no love greater has he, who takes the time to truly love me~

My love is for you when you finally see the difference between them and the difference between me~

Couldn’t hold a candle to me, not even the match to ignite it with…

Don’t you see?
Not for Reprocuction~

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~We All Lie~So Get Real~NJM~Anyone Like Truth? Hmm…

“How are you Doing today?”It’s what we all say to each other everyday.
Social situations facial navigation fake smile social niceties.
“Fine, and you, how are you?”
Oh fine.
We share our fake smiles

Waiting in lines

Talking small talk

Ready to move forward now

Ready to walk
Everyday you lie, I lie….Because each day that phrase is a greeting/statement/question all rolled up in one

For the most part

It’s “oui bien sur”

Or a more American way to say it instead of French is 

“Yes of course”,Sure I’m fine, oh you are too? great! Have a good day!
Another proclamation of sending each person off with a ” have a good day”
I Personally like to say “have a blessed day and I make eye contact to let them know I see them, I mean what I just said.
“Have a blessed day..” 
Being sincere about our feelings publicly is just not normal. We may disturb another human being with the truth such as saying” hey it’s not a good day thus far”.
Be real when you feel that way; say it, and pray it will get better.
Don’t socially lie, it’s what makes us feel as though other little lies aren’t such a bad thing. So we use more. 
Perhaps you Don’t want to go somewhere you promised someone that you would go to such as an event or visit. The Majority of us would make up either an “illness”or a “family emergency”.
These are the things we as a society have accepted,which in turn; and in my opinion has diluted every human to some point.
The point of this message is sorry to burst your bubble baby, we are all liars. Now I’m

Gonna try to get through this Holiday and the rest of my life stating my truth. Perhaps if we all did, well then things for damn sure would get real.
Know what, real is what we need for positive change. In my opinion we are far to fake, not enough real.
Resolution of life going forward and note to self ” be real” pray another companion comes into my life with that goal as well. Shouldn’t we all be so fortunate?
Have a Happy Holiday’s everyone , truly much

Love and thanks for stopping by and reading my truth.

PS. My photo is my part of being real makeup free being me. At least half… 😜

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~Battered Soul~Crushed Heart~

Words emptied spilling 
Letters jumbled

Speech of madness

Little bits of heaven scattered

All about

Smeared with indifference

Rejection and doubt

Reaching deeply

These wholes in my heart

This pain in my chest

I am starting to wonder

Where is my rest

From the thoughts, hopes

Dreams, now it’s all crying broken 

Wounds scream

Still we linger 
Trust you’re not letting go

It’s the feeling in my gut

The calling of my name

Summoning me from time to time

To play these awful games

Day in and out

You will always think of me

Deep beyond my rejected soul

I’m always the best you’ll ever see

It’s me that lives deep in your head my voice in your mind

You’ll never let go but trust you Will run out of time

Oh battered soul, beaten heart

Gathering the important parts

Trying to bury the bones

Sweet dignity oh blessed be

To think you walked away

Truth be told you never left

I lingered too~

NJM~

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~Bipolar Thoughts~Poetry~NJM~

Words pour out spinning in my mind

Gravity for these thoughts often impossible to find.
Subject to subject whirl in my head
Concentration is gone dead. Interruption easy I’ll spit it out quick, why? Because my thoughts are amazing more important than yours screw all these rules and your feelings too I simply lack a filter….apology not happening well later perhaps after yet more thought
What a price to be reckoned with it must be bought!
Jumping through constellations and flying past stars, the energy I feel could jet me to Mars. Hypomanic confidence seeps right on pass I’m certain if you don’t know me you would think me an ass.
Polarity at its finest as I try to refine, but all these thoughts and these feeling might leave me behind. Cohesive qualities try to keep me in tact but it is what it is this is a fact.
Would it be so horrible to just be this or stay that, well I must tell you I’d feel rather flat. I can never just be this or be that I am what I am a wonderment of confusion, I’ll make you see a flip side, leave you disillusioned.
It’s not that I’m trying to get in your head, see I’m already there you may think not, but I can spit out your words first seep in your mind and the words that escape you somehow I find.

~Do you Understand Freedom?~Hello??

This moment transparent

Lucid
Left empty without
World is mad
Crazy
Fast faster
Lights blurred by speed
Minutes tick tock
Pace of the clock
Can’t keep up
Burning bright star struck 
Retracting to pin point
Super nova
Creating more chaos
Born in the middle
Escape is not an option
On the edge of each paradigm 
Trying the edge of difference
Trapped in ignorance
Ability of beauty
Beauty captured by few
Few can capture
The moment
Chaotic beauty of clarity
Bowing out 
Off stage
Fast faster on we rage 
The world our cage
Freedom found only in loss
Nothing to lose
Freedom
That moment 
Beautiful naked free

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~Serendipity~

 

Memories cloaked
Never leaving
Distance did reveal the approach of a storm
Darkness of night was the sky by day
Cold water did touch the toes
The lucidity clarity so blue
Diving in against current without fear of danger.
Into depths unknown
This storm won’t reach out and oppose her
Not again
Others it approaches
Eyes transfixed
Looking away lacked ability
Disconcerting
Like a prophetic story unfolding
In peace
She watched
Unraveling Technology
Technically never ahead of her
Just felt
The knowing
Burning in her belly
Steel running down her back
The most fearsome creature to walk the earth 
In the distance 
The sound of explosions like fireworks
Crackled 
A whisper escaped her lips but was never heard
But by few
Lays a rose
Forming irony
Into Serendipity~
Not For Reproduction~