~My Beauty~

Don’t claim my beauty as yours~
I share true beauty in moments of Silence~
Windows left open~
Regard left unspoken~
The world at large suffocating~
And choking~
In those moments~
This is my personal fountain~
Calmly waiting without measure~
Don’t claim my beauty~
Disturbed by the static and the smell Of your burnt wires~
RSVP~
In the back corner reserved for one~
I Share my beauty in moments of Silence~
My beauty~
Ssshhh~

~Bits of Heaven~A Price So Dearly Paid~

Little bits of heaven scattered all about~Peppered with indifference and a tad pinch of doubt~

You’re my number 1 blu Ray always on in my head~

Things we done, should have done but never really did~

Still I search rewind and always find little bits of heaven scattered all about peppered with jealousy and a tad bit of doubt~

You’re my mobility, fluidity, lucidity and I have no motion without you.~

So I sit down on the ground gathering up my bits of heaven, separating them from the rip torn shreds of hell~

I keep so still so quiet now, yet I have a story to tell~

For now I’ll play my blu Ray of us the little bits I saved~

The little bits of heaven a price so dearly paid~
NJM~

Not for reproduction~

~Suicide Tendency~ A Must Read~

The grand entrance will yield
Exquisite exit revealed
Choose which door
Dropped to the floor
And to think that it’s all seems a Complete bore….. This life so fake
It makes one wonder if life is to take? At a time of our choosing
And is it really this life that I’m loosing?
These Social niceties….
..These lies…
…This show is exhausting
Wearing these mask
It’s a grueling nightmarish daily task
Surreal Essenes clouds
eyes are heavy, as is the mind
And much of this seems to be a waste of my time
I’m gonna choose this door wisely
With swift conviction I will prepare don’t temp fate not on a dare…
my exit…
Or my entrance
Exquisite , Grandeur
Just be cautious
Tell no one that’s for damn sure
Silence…….
..Leaping into the unknown area
Exiting exquisitely
There, where all suicide tendency subsides
In this great unknown emptiness that deeply divides~

Not For Reproduction

~ Longing ~

Doth these depths
So greatly churn
As thy words swiftly burn
And yonder yet vaguely felt
Within your arms freely melt
It’s cohesive quality sinks right in
As your fingers grasp my chin
Turning my head you reach to kiss
But just as quickly I feel dismissed
Hide not thy love thy face
Hide not thy passionate deep embrace
I’ll not retreat in subtle glim
Bit by bit I drink you in
I care not think nor rationalize
While thought bemused conceptualize
longing’s breath doth take hold
As my words are swift & bold
My liberation in union sure
Never wanting nor needing more~

~Not For Reproduction~


~Relationship & Routine~

Routine is a mundane thing which can dull the grandest thing~

Taking beauty from the action
Killing all attraction,the crave the touch the smell, the embrace the “I can’t wait to touch and see your face”
A time was such where the person place or thing was never ever to much, couldn’t get enough. Enough could never ever be to much~
Routine can kill all the beauty that once lived there causing discord strife it seems unfair, the mind its soul to tear~
If only to return to a time you were purely you
your attention was all mine
The time that nothing mattered
A time that was timeless wonderment of you, of me of all we could do,we could be~
It seems not long ago you were you
Not tainted and you didn’t know
Of things this world could do
But time and this mundane world and its routine can take the precious moments and turn it black and blue~colorless to white not sure if the precious thing is even worth the fight~
The colors fades…your interest shattered and the beauty of what once mattered lost in the heart and soul and routine is what made it cold, old…or was it simply you?
Did you forget the times of living in your head, forgetting times alone, the longing of a kindred, a lover, sheets a mess rolling thunder undercover…all across the bed.. Alone you once said “I seek another.”
But time has changed the beauty you found that took what seemed a lifetime. Turning the beauty & love and turned around in your warped and shattered mind.
Mundane,never the same oh the torture oh the mean of living in the sad routine~
Can you capture back the magic that made you want so much of the other person their smell, their taste, embrace the longing of their touch~

~I Want This~Doe’s it ┬áCome In Pill?~Not Hardly~

I want someone to love, to love me as I love them.I want someone passionate for me forever,now and way beyond the end. I want to  breath the air they breath. I want someone who’s touch sends electricity through my body and up my spine, gives me goose bumps from the thoughts of what we do alone behind closed doors, Is it asking to much for them to feel the same maybe even more? I am not up for anymore games…..

I  want to feel the adrenaline rush, I’m sure they do too…especially when the adrenaline rush is made by me and hopefully you(whoever you are)

I want a key you see made exactly to fit into you and you into me. Lacking in nothing complete oh so sweet, so cunning yet Devine the love we can make for the rest of time. I want someone to be like rolling thunder and crashing waves against me and my skin ….their skin….Us between the sheets,outside the sheets, I want to roll and crash and ride the waves with them. I want to experience something beautiful and unknown together. Shared with no other.I want someone to make me feel safe in their arms to feel safe from all harm.

I want them to feel safe with me and know I would walk to hell and back if I had too just for them to see.

I want someone who will not lie to me or hide things from me and Who will not be a drunk.

I don’t want to lie to them either don’t want no reason too. All emotional drama and junk be gone from my life, don’t need the discord don’t need the strife.

I want someone to hold my hand. I want to hold their hand too…….. until we are old until we leave this earth.

I want someone who won’t leave me,to believe in me, believe in my worth, as I will do for them.I want someone who will honor and respect me till the end. An ever burning fire, I want a relationship that won’t expire…..
I won’t ever leave them. Even in the after life and beyond we will dance that cosmic dance…..with my best friend my lover my heart.

This is what I want. This is where it starts….Now the standard I’ve set perhaps makes it a possible fact that you don’t exist that’s why we never met, maybe I’ve said all this because I don’t believe you exist, if you don’t exist then I can’t get hurt, and to me that’s smart, I’ll live trying to hold on to what’s left of my heart.
However………. the fact of the matter is not settling for nothing less , nothing less than best. To be clear without fear I often wonder if you are very near…. or perhaps you’re so far away and today is not the day it may be another….. well

I want someone that’s the total package too, as I’m sure you want that as well.

Tell me Is that someone you?

If it is I have waited my whole life for you as you have for me.

May our love be forever may we always be, happy, healthy, prosperous loving and free. Never wanting , always fulfilled.

To bad you can’t get this in a pill.

NJM~

Not For Reproduction ~