~Bipolar Thoughts~Thoughts bemused~

~Machinations
Eclectic mind
So random without order
Content unknown
Images flash
Strewn about thoughts
Racing fast,
Flooding my brain invading
Concepts to conceptualize
Twisting
There is no pause
No stillness
To much to contemplate
Subjects subjective
Bursting
Perception yet perceived
By Intent
Only to be Crystallized~

~Do you Understand Freedom?

This moment transparent

Lucid
Left empty without
World is mad
Crazy
Fast faster
Lights blurred by speed
Minutes tick tock
Pace of the clock
Can’t keep up
Burning bright star struck 
Retracting to pin point
Super nova
Creating more chaos
Born in the middle
Escape is not an option
On the edge of each paradigm 
Trying the edge of difference
Trapped in ignorance
Ability of beauty
Beauty captured by few
Few can capture
The moment
Chaotic beauty of clarity
Bowing out 
Off stage
Fast faster on we rage 
The world our cage
Freedom found only in loss
Nothing to lose
Freedom
That moment 
Beautiful naked free

  • 

~Immortalized~Legends~

I am the painter of my life

But the sculptor has the say

The one that reminds me

Each and everyday~

Pray….. know that your words are you, as I am the word too

As are you.

Want to live forever my child

Want to be free again…..wings again run wild?

You will move on from this ethereal area…

This realm of this world 🌎

Dimensions vast but the one thing on this Earth that will last

Immortalize you your bloodline

WORDS write put in plain sight

Take your words paint your life

Let me mold you, refine with fire 🔥

A love so real, that burning desire

Deep in your belly with steel down your back …….your a wild young hybrid full of these words, you spin and you weave……

But dear Angel your words live forever long after you leave

Immortal~

Typo’s fixed…Totally revised~I Want….You~ yeah You…

I want short distance to close love,spontaneous outburst of affection not planned touches or moments..fast reflex and stealth like a cat, like me~ Flexibility both internally and externally (you will need it) truth always truth, I hate lies…crazy mad love that somehow makes sense, the kind legend s are made of (smile):))…level headed? Plz love is crazy beautiful wild free, no level headed well thought,it will be, Everything is Fine…I ask the Lord for Devine reward… oh yeah I want thunder under sheets flesh storms that make the sheets fall to the floor both needing more…Devine strength well mastered,Change it’s time for change and it’s coming as long as it reveals beauty and it will….to stop crying and laugh more, I want long walks along the beach from our beach home.$$$$Money lots of it…to share, invest, grow it, leave financial burdens behind forever, I want to be kind even when others are careless with words and emotional harm, learn to not take it personal, it’s really about them not me.

I want to see what God wants for me, I want to align with God’s will and plans, I want to stand straight and strong next to my future companion/Husband learn to still be humble but I can still feel pride inside,help me God to not hate and make me good God make me good~

Njm

A prayer of hope, love, desire despair~ update

Say this prayer and mean each word you say. Love will come to you. It has for me.
Lord forgive me
I have to say

I never imagined life this way

One person can enter

Into a life

Makes you want to live

To give

To share and be free

Never ever again

Having to be lonely

This cross I bare

It’s becoming to much

I seem to feel so out of touch

I only want to believe

That someone will find me love me

And never leave

So this poker game has to end

I lay down my cards now

I have to fold

This old heart is getting old

I don’t know what will be

But I ask you let my soul mate find me

By the power of three

Let it be~

~Can a Person With Bipolar Lead A Normal Healthy LIfe~

The Following paragraphs below were in response to a question Via Quora.com.
A women asked if there was any way someone with Bipolar Disorder could lead a healthy normal life (BTW What is Normal anyway?)The women had told me that her boyfriend was up and down, and a few times physically abusive  Below is my response. To her Question~
Yes, and no. It’s a double edged sword.
First it sounds to me like he is not managing his illness. The first step to mood stability is taking medication to level out the moods. This usually requires medication of the anticonvulsants family such as depakote, lamictal, topamax to name a few. Lithium is also awell known medication in regard to bipolar management.Next sleep is as important as meds. A proper sleep scheduleshould be in place. At least 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night. Otherwise moods become unstable and a manic episode will follow. Next exercise is extremely important. This gets the brains neurons and transmitter firing the right type of dopamine through the brain the endorphins get released. At least 5 days a week he needs to get a good strong workout in for no less than 1 hour.I mentioned the above because what you are telling me does not match up to someone working a routine to keep bipolar disorder managed. Anyone that has experience with bipolar would say that the three mentioned above are of the utmost importance.

Then you have alcohol. A bipolar person simply shouldn’t drink at all. However I personally drink an occasional glass of wine without repercussions. Remember that the variables are vast in management of bipolar disorder and each person is unique in symptoms and treatment.

 

 

Next meditation and spirituality go a long way, I pray each day upon waking. I meditate later in the day. I can not stress enough of how God has helped me. I realize not all share my view in regard to God. But hey it’s all personal and more importantly what works for you. I will say that when I didn’t pray and have faith, I was not a happy camper, and all the meds in the world did not make a difference.

 

Today I’m on an extremely low dose of meds. I only take 250mg of Lamictal, and 100 mg of Trazadone, Xanax only when needed. My meds are mild in comparison to others I know. It was not always like this for me. But prayer and spirituality centered me. Changed me.

 

Now if any of the above is not being followed to the best of ones ability, it’s gonna be one hell of a ride.

 

To answer your question, yes it can be done. But the management is a hit and miss. One has to be diligent in order to stay with the realm of reality, and to thwart mood swings.

 

What you are explaining almost sounds like rapid cycling. Truly your spouse needs to manage the disorder more closely than I suspect he actually is.

 

Also no form of violence should be tolerated. Period. None. I can’t stress that enough. Every time you over look physical violence it will increase in severity each time after until a deathly outcome may be achieved. You don’t want that, no one does. But a person in mania or hypo mania does not use logic or have the filter in place that those who don’t suffer mental illness have. So I severely stress again no violence tolerated!

 

I highly recommend couples counseling. A temporary separation while his medical issues are worked out and managed better. Also you should accompany him to a few psychiatric visits. Why? Because your reality needs to be offered up to the doctor not just his in order to be treated properly.
Besides this is a team effort. Support helps.

 

Research and read. Here are two books I highly recommend. This one is like a handbook for bipolar people.

Next one is ~Madness~ Marya Hornbacher does a phenomenal job of giving the perspective of a manic bipolar person. I just recently finished this book.

I will tell you, both books will give great insight and ideas to you and your spouse.

Now the flip side. If he does not take treatment seriously, and does not manage his bipolar, then the answer to your question is a firm and loud NO!
You will not be able to lead any type of happy normal relationship and life unless steps are implemented and treatment is followed.

It took 3 and a half years to get my life right. Lots of loss and heartache along the way. Many relationships lost. Financial trouble.. Just huge mess. Even jail time.

If I can be of any further assistance please reach out to me via private message. I am more than willing to help in any way I can, and point you into the right directions.

Also get online and look for support groups in your area.

Good luck.

Asked to answer by