~Beautifully Unfinished~

Know that I shall not hang on

So why can’t I let go?

In my dreams when I’m with you

Somehow I forget to breath

You got me like a rag doll

Now I’m dancing on your string

And I keep trying

To figure out

Who you are to me

Maybe all that

We were meant to be

Is beautifully unfinished

Cause your’re the one

I can’t lose

You’re  the one

That I can’t win

Maybe all that we were meant to be was beautifully unfinished

~Preemptive~revised~

Preemptive I suppose

I leave first

You silver tongue devil

You had me almost

But all of my life I stood by

With hope learning to cope

No more

Preemptive I am

Strike you down

Out of my sight

Purged from my mind

You can come to look

You will not find

Preemptive in love

Just as in war

I am a missile

I reach out so far

I’ll tear down your defenses

I close in on you all around

Slash your heart first

Never again it’s now

A curse

Laid upon me long ago

A trust can be broken only so many times

Am I confused unable to see

I breed in you and you breed in me

And we also bleed too!

Your deceit

Is a pool of my blood around your feet

My blood, my scars

No one can never cross far over my lines

Drawn in a particular way

So when I am done

I have the say

Preemptive

I can’t even make it a month

Thinking of what could be us

I see to much fault

You are not what I thought

Characteristics you portray

Soon fade away

So I jump out

Leaving you quickly

I can’t conceive

Why you can’t perceive

That I am no longer shackled

By love or sex

Well I’d like to think

Mortal coil craves

I’m human

I have my days

I’m preemptive

You wonder how you let go the best

It’s not you

It’s not a test

So go on your way

Give it a rest

Wait what did I just say?

Preemptive dear Darlin dear

Now feel the fate as it draws near~

~Regret~

Ideological fanaticismĀ The mirror holds the image so tight~

Unable to move out of ones sight~
Hourglass turns and sands starts to drain no longer can time contain~

Life sustain?
Reflections cracked and connection lost~

Guess no one decided to count the cost~
Detached and subdued, Drained, by the need~

All that they long for festers in greed~
How your heart full of art, Beautifully broken will bleed~

While I write these words, You read~in your mind It is I that plants the seeds~
Defining sounds consume all space~The shadows grow larger in this place~Yet disappearing without a trace ~
Grips that shackle the freedom once given~the strength of youth lost to time~Now live on your life walk the fine line~
We swallow their lies~Yet long for truth~
But all is lost, Especially our youth~
By the time you think you arrived~Your life event you barely survived~Often you wish that you just died~
All gone to another not each other~Surely push away forget together~
One day you look back and all that you see were words written …….Scribbles that rhyme but that’s ok fool yourself all is just fine~
Fine you say dear oh Darlin ~Lend me your ear~
When I speak these words, I invoke fear~
So run to your shadows~Hide away fast~
No matter what, I always last~
Rise as I watch you wither away, Longing to late now~How you wish I would stay~
Live now with your choice~Till your dying day~
Regret , remorse spinning the web~
Tears flow down your face onto your pillow then onto your bed~
When your alone you think of me~How we could have been, Let’s others see~
Yet you let me go again, You set me free~
Still you will come again and again~Just wait you’ll see~

Updated~Two Week Notice~yeah already~—

Dear God up above I can still feel your love…. but I’m sorry to say I must leave go away~ you called me a light worker, I can only do so much never ever figured out what is the human touch.

You blessed me with human a beautiful baby boy. I’m entrusting you to him, he is a child and yet my sin~when I try to write my book I don’t even know where to begin my life was fast like a whirlwind…and pieces scattered about and within

It’s all like a puzzle that was left in a closet hidden away, no one notice nor knew what to say

Laying by the devils side it isn’t hard to decide, he is the God of this world I now see, and I figured out the exit for me…. for any who look and choose to see, my mission complete~

So just give two weeks notice and keep the memories they serve no purpose when I’m gone. My words will live on and on. I planted seeds along the way, somehow though was led astray. So here I am Lord here I lay so I request an early judgement day.

I would do the same for my son, I would love him no matter what he may have done.

I ask in return you bless his life free of worry grief strife…. to live to laugh to love to know I can still see him from far above.

I laid by the devils side for over half my life it caused me to much pain to much strife and as a human being I’m sick of this life… I quit. Well I’m giving my two week notice as any good employee of a universal truth I must say I did enjoy my youth….. sometimes…. it reminded me I wasn’t meant for here, I was wild free and truly fierce scared of NOTHING!!!! Not even death. I couldn’t wait to take a last breath… but I endured and at times I laughed

But often rejected due to class, stereotypes, and bullshit in general full circle around but this time my Lord I leave this playground~ two weeks notice not to long to go and when I get where I’m Going please don’t say “I told you so” see ya soon!

Probably by noon

~Fat Tuesday~

Fat Tuesday is here

my Darlin Dear

Preemptive plight

Planned party

Late night

Mardi GrasĀ is here

It’s that time of year

skies hued

yellow, purple, green aglow

The sounds clamoring

Fighting to outdo

each musical note

There we were dancing

Swaying to the beat of the

Floats the heat

Jazz music fills the streets

Down Canal street turning round to
cross over to Bourbon~

Take in each shot

Preemptively planned

Glass in hand

Other hand in yours

Flying high

beads round our neck making music

of their own

Debris in the streets

Faces smeared

Drunken flow

Dancing in flight

Cheap trinkets flying

Dashing, fighting, grinding

Preemptively planned party

Your eyes two lights flaming bright

watching your sexy arm

Light your Marlboro

Smiles and giggles

Two jokes only we are in on

Blowing your smoke out

Between your sexy lips

I get close and kiss your lips

Playfully biting the lower one

Endless fun

Pass that joint don’t bogard

It’s high time for all

It’s this night we aim to please

Preemptively planned plight

Gonna party all damn night

Then some more

On each street corner

Stands a whore

Sodom and Gomorrah

What a life Darlin what sight

Pulling you closer

Let this night never be over never be done~

The entire world is watching

All the court jesters

All the clowns

All the kings and queens on floats wearing their crown~

Hey that’s a decent poison

Crown Royal over rocks

Splash of water barkeep please

Don’t be stingy now pour long don’t tease~

Walking don’t dare run

And then it fades

Leaving, lingering

Till next year we preemptively plan again for this night~

Fat Tuesday Darlin Dear

I hear you whisper in my ear

As we float high above the rest

Preemptive plight party all night

Fat Tuesday

Madri Gras

We will do it again and again

Mardi Gras never ends~

Not for reproduction

~NJM