~I Can Fly~

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I am poetry in motion flowing through your mind plowing through your thoughts

I am the idea you had, how it could be however you lacked vision you couldn’t see

The idea died
I am your past yet I live in your future, I live in your dreams yet you still have nightmares, I’m still the angel that comforts you, you’ve just forgot…..I am the face in the crowds…Flowing to the rhythm swaying to the beat, As multitudes stride with me traveling…..I may fall to the ground but like a cat I land on my feet
I am eternal Yet this body I am using will waste with age yet onward I travel to greater things, with angel wings eagles feet I rise……no longer needing the shackles of my old body. I have wings now up and away to the sky I can fly!

~Perimeters~

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Standoffish aloof
Not looking at you~

Perimeters~

Coordinates
Bubbles of glass with precise measures
Encasing
Protecting
Inviting Safety
Each equation
Etching the space
The fine area deemed just my space
Slowing building up walls
Curves edges and all
A saving grace …….before another…….yes again a setback, another fall
Drawing fine lines
Marking each point
Thoughts are layers, times frames~
The nexus holding the perimeters together
Wondering if you could ever……yes ever
Believe yet again in another
Even further still nothing is forever…….
Forever the same each second each moment bring about change
Bending each thought and molding each frame ~
Believing this time it will not be the same
But perimeters falter & twist & wind and morph like a darkness acting often unkind ~
Life is an altered course it unfolds into time a commodity given the day you were born but perimeters weaken
Coordinates torn ~
All the while strategy in progress to save what is left of the holes in my heart and pain in my chest~
Perimeters are guild lines I lacked for to long, but I learned this the hard way like any over played song
Boundaries blanket me safely from harm
I no longer lay upon your loved arm~
I no longer listen to your heart beat~
I no longer feel~
Perhaps I do feel a bit for another~
But time Will only put our coordinates together
Although I lack in certain knowledge in subjects not taught
I’ll still invade your mind I’ll still be in your heart
Can’t help what I know not what I feel but
Perimeters took those it was those it did steal~
I’m trying to self preserve trying to heal
My perimeters are unique & my numbers are mine
Circumference of my thoughts etched and in place I’ll think long and hard before I look upon another face~
So know if you ever tried to understand me or tried to break Through and let me let you in
My plan is to not feel this way yet again~
Still Plans often change lives rearranged
These measure are precise and I can carefully prepare to slice to dice the hurt and pain~
To continue this path
Retract & Refrain~

~Side Effects~

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Disconcerting…..Detached

Colors outside the lines

Blurry…..

This particular emotion is completely lacking…..

Lacking cohesive qualities

It’s unravelling

And the edges keep getting stuck in the door

At its most severe case it’s completely unsettling…..

And it’s weakest

Subtle anxiety

Dry mouth

Like sand mixed with cotton

Anesthetized

Clinical white

In this sterile environment

I’ll await my next dosage

Hands heavy laden

Cracked around the edges

Layered with side effects~

Not for Reproduction~

~And Did You~Well?~

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And did you

Did you
Think
And did you
Did you
Consider
And did you
Did you
Blame
And did you
Did you
Self evaluate
And did you
Did you
Hurt
And did you
Did you
Miss
And did you
Did you
Calculate
And did you
Did you
Have purpose
And did you
Did you
Dream
And did you
Did you
Look closely
And did you
Did you
Count the cost
And did you
Did you
Feel the loss
And did you
Did you
Know
And did you
Did you
Run
And did you
Did you
Have purpose
And did you
Did you
Know it wasn’t just you?
And did you
Did you
Know it wasn’t just me?
And did you
Did you
Have ability to see?
And did you
Did you ever truly hear me?

~I Want This~Doe’s it  Come In Pill?~Not Hardly~

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I want someone to love, to love me as I love them.I want someone passionate for me forever,now and way beyond the end. I want to  breath the air they breath. I want someone who’s touch sends electricity through my body and up my spine, gives me goose bumps from the thoughts of what we do alone behind closed doors, Is it asking to much for them to feel the same maybe even more? I am not up for anymore games…..

I  want to feel the adrenaline rush, I’m sure they do too…especially when the adrenaline rush is made by me and hopefully you(whoever you are)

I want a key you see made exactly to fit into you and you into me. Lacking in nothing complete oh so sweet, so cunning yet Devine the love we can make for the rest of time. I want someone to be like rolling thunder and crashing waves against me and my skin ….their skin….Us between the sheets,outside the sheets, I want to roll and crash and ride the waves with them. I want to experience something beautiful and unknown together. Shared with no other.I want someone to make me feel safe in their arms to feel safe from all harm.

I want them to feel safe with me and know I would walk to hell and back if I had too just for them to see.

I want someone who will not lie to me or hide things from me and Who will not be a drunk.

I don’t want to lie to them either don’t want no reason too. All emotional drama and junk be gone from my life, don’t need the discord don’t need the strife.

I want someone to hold my hand. I want to hold their hand too…….. until we are old until we leave this earth.

I want someone who won’t leave me,to believe in me, believe in my worth, as I will do for them.I want someone who will honor and respect me till the end. An ever burning fire, I want a relationship that won’t expire…..
I won’t ever leave them. Even in the after life and beyond we will dance that cosmic dance…..with my best friend my lover my heart.

This is what I want. This is where it starts….Now the standard I’ve set perhaps makes it a possible fact that you don’t exist that’s why we never met, maybe I’ve said all this because I don’t believe you exist, if you don’t exist then I can’t get hurt, and to me that’s smart, I’ll live trying to hold on to what’s left of my heart.
However………. the fact of the matter is not settling for nothing less , nothing less than best. To be clear without fear I often wonder if you are very near…. or perhaps you’re so far away and today is not the day it may be another….. well

I want someone that’s the total package too, as I’m sure you want that as well.

Tell me Is that someone you?

If it is I have waited my whole life for you as you have for me.

May our love be forever may we always be, happy, healthy, prosperous loving and free. Never wanting , always fulfilled.

To bad you can’t get this in a pill.

NJM~

Not For Reproduction ~

~Little Deaths~& this one….

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I helped you Die those little deaths In your sorry existence

I gave you songs.

When you had no tunes left in you

I started to see the fire in your belly

And the steel running down your back

You were the most fearsome thing that ever lived

I know I breathed the life into you

I’m the one who awakened you However you started the fire

Now you must sleep
Embrace those little deaths

As a  reminder of

The memory

Of me

In you alive For Eternity~

Not for Reproduction~

My Love~

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My Love

I can see you~

My Love

I can smell you~

My Love

I can Sense you~

My Love

I can hear you……you call to me~

My Love

I  crave you~

My love

It’s your hand~

My Love

It’s your eyes….. Deep like an ocean full of emotion~

My Love

It’s your touch~

My Love

I can taste you~

My Love

I dream of you….. in my sleep and in my waking and walking life~

My Love

I want your heart~

My Love

I hold your heart~

My Love

I give you my heart….be gentle for it is fragile~

My Love

You are the sky~

My love

You are my Sun….and it sets each day, evening, into the night This love is right, hold on tight, times may get rough Don’t let go~

My Love

You are my moon….dripping into the night sky invading my dreams then awaking me at dawn~

My love

Do you feel me? Like I feel you?

My Love

Our emotions, thoughts, hearts are so true, my love I love only you~

My Love

I want to spend the rest of my life with only you, to grow old with you, each day to see still something yet new in you~

Forever My love

Yours truly,

Your Love…………….Forever~

~Learning the Hard Way~Pain~

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Drowning in your watered down words~in the sea of suspicions and doubt~
Stunned by your actions your lack of regard reverberates … Breaking sound barriers~
Best let it rest, no it’s not a test, most walked away its was for the best~
My illness is amplified by stress and assholes~
The very stress that assholes like you cause~
Separating myself from this realm

Of reality and dynamics shifting

On a ocean-less drift of emotion~
Cut paper thin then ripped from my personal thoughts not to be written yet spoken~
All that ever was now is broken, is that your beautiful trinket the parts of me you’ve stolen?~
I want it back, I intend to retrieve all you’ve taken I pray now I’ll receive and retrieve… at this particular time of my life it’s time to leave~
If I ever return I’ll know next time not to get burned… In the past trust I had to learn~