~When to get a new Psychiatrist~Bipolar Issue~

Nicole MoncadaHave been diagnosed with Bipolar 1 for 5 years. It’s been one hellevu ride!
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~Bipolar,The Unique Truth about the illness and my theories~

First I urge you the reader to watch a movie called “Touched by Fire” with Katie Holmes… the depiction of the two characters bring this post together. They are two bipolar individuals that’s all I will say. Watch it.

Bipolar the unique truth
Truth is there are many bipolar people with a unique gifts of art, it springs forth from our well to bring to life what we hope others will get, will understand.
I write poetry through my heart

My veins, my brain. Some other bipolar people paint, some sing, some Dance, some sculpt, and others like me, the countless thousands that write.
I consider myself a warrior fighting a cause trying to educate and break mental health stigma I also bring my demons out to display for all to see. That’s pretty ugly and unique. Hang it all out, air the bullshit I fester in at times, don’t we all?
Here is the thing, even warriors get weary and tired, and at times may even feel defeated.
I feel this as I write it, however by days end I’ll feel completely opposite I will feel empowered.
You may be a bipolar person, however every one of us is so unique so very unique.

I have been told all my

Life I have a switch, like a light switch that goes off if I’m done such as with let’s say …chemical addiction I am addicted for awhile to some drugs as an example. Cocaine, ecstasy, acid that kind of stuff I did at various times of my life, only to put it down. Still down over 15 years or more to this point and I pray it will always stick, it has thus far.
Now Mary Jane is like a best friend that I can hug goodbye, then check up on Mary Jane and alas, we have a long visit. Then I hug her again. Only to keep visiting.
Longest I ever told Mary Jane see you later I didn’t see her for 5 years….. that’s along time.
I’m similar with cigarettes but I have never been a real lifer for cigarettes.
I pick those up during stressful times. Like a switch I turn it back off till it illuminates again and the switch is turned on….. hey maybe it’s a glitch…

Today is the full moon. The moon affects bipolar people.
Say what you will, the cosmic energy changes the ebb and the flow of the ocean and pulls stronger because we are closer to our moon. If it affects a huge ocean then I view it as ……how much more can it affect us little humans. I mean come on it’s pulling an ocean sitting by us you think it don’t affect us, Ha. Ok.
Anyway these are my theories. Adopt them as your own if it rings true. Examine it if it doesn’t.
For some the full moon energizes their soul, others melancholia, others deep depression.
It is a shackle. I have theories about mental illness for a very long time. We live in a multidimensional world.
I often wondered if the mentally ill are tapping into the other dimensions the ones that others can’t hear, see, or feel.

I have others who have witnessed phenomena in me with regard to two things, first I seem to affect electrical currents in my area around me lights and such . Second the ability to tell you about something important that is gonna happen if you’re close to me.

This has been witnessed and many can tell you, yep she does.
This only started again, notice I said again, yes again after 3 years. See I was away around lies and deceit for the duration of my marriages, I listened and bought into the lies …. then I broke free after my divorce…for the last three years of my life, I stopped listening to lies, I’m in what I call a spiritual cleanse zone.
I can do things others can’t or maybe they can I haven’t met them yet, do you have phenomena too? just like I have , are you bipolar and have a phenomenon like myself which only adds to what I feel is extremely unique.
I had gifts when I was younger and not tainted by this world nor afflicted with atrocious disease of the mind. I prayed and meditated for hours in nature back then. My gifts at its apex. But years of hearing and buying into those lies affected my gifts. We all have some kinda strange gift if you tap into it.
Removing yourself from all lies or to recognize lies(spirit bares witness to others) the lies others speak you will and can know. But how do you know if they are lying?
For me It’s a silent “I know”.A feeling a sensation I pick up on.
Sometimes it’s just a quick whispers brief then gone.
This is me. This is how I am navigating my outer worldly experience. The queue’s I receive.
I don’t dabble in dark arts. My mother did. She was sought after on the bayous of Louisiana. People come from all over the bayou to see her. To hear what she had to say.
She then had a change of heart made me burn all my albums( so long ago lol albums) all my records.
I couldn’t wear pants anymore and I got to go to 6 th grade at a weird school from the church she joined. It was Like a mixture of Assembly of God or Pentecostal type of practice.
Yet I survived my crazy ass formidable young years as best I could, well that was until I revolted and got married at 14.
I was rebellious, against the grain. I think that was a charismatic draw when I was younger I had a few select friends.
Wherever we went, when we arrived the party started and most flocked to me it flowed… it was a powerful feeling.
So see yours may be different it’s why I have given you a quick narrative of my life.
So how are the meds going? Well? What was your cost? Mine was feelings, eyesight, weight, rapid weight gain. A few more add on’s.
My meds are Lamictal, Serquel, Clonopin. Not to mention pain meds for another condition.
Cool fact I’ve only had three cavities. My mom was big about brushing my damn teeth.
Hey! I have a bright smile. That is if I’m not in one of the many moods that flow through me every hour. Yes every hour.
See another difference. My Mind is in a variation or some would say rapid cycle.
Yours may be still, constant depressed, or you could be in a full blown manic episode.
In order to make any stride In Breaking stigma we must begin to be honest with ourselves.
We walk blindly sometimes through a day our thoughts jumbled.
But are we living our truth, bearing the scars and being open about your unique illness and the unique art it invokes in you.
Can we all feel empowered always, the answer is No. however we can strive, press onward.
For us our creativity and our illness make us so unique, so let your colors out and color outside the lines.
Don’t be afraid, we all have at one time or another. However, this is coming from someone who has had a rough ride getting to this place of complete honesty.
A place to tell my story without fear. Worry about nothing, care about most things, leave the rest behind. That’s my quote…
Thanks for stopping in and reading my post.
Have a beautiful day and watch out for our full moon tonight!

Consistency …..And Sparta? Yes!!

I decided long ago consistency does count, but I forgot it is a two way street. I can’t be the only one striving for that attribute in any relationship. 
If you’re not able to also be acknowledgeable of me in consistent status, then I Guess you can’t run in my 300. Not many can it should be called my 3 lol. Since I barely trust anyone and I have two I can count on…. they run in my 3 …….. huh my 3…And play it out like 300.

Sparta! They consistently worked together to eventually defete an empire. It was dedication to the consistency that was beautiful. They moved as one unit.If you can’t communicate with me and act as a team as a unit then please do us all a favor stay away already.

I live in my Sparta and I’m gonna Conquer my distractions in many ways… May God be with me~ and may he be with you too~ God Speed~ we all need it~

~Bipolar Self Check & Cycles~

Being bipolar and knowing that patterns such as triggers and time frames, stress the very fact that we cycle is extremely important. History tends to repeat itself, many things repeat themselves, bipolar individuals happen to skid into this surreal area a little too often.

Wanna know something else all the meds in this world can’t  stop what I just mentioned. Lifestyle combined with a medicinal regiment can avert most travesty. But medicine alone can’t. I know. I’ve gone manic, in fact bonkers and was still on my meds. Was I fun, uh not really….well maybe for a bit, but only to myself.

Know something else,the company you keep, the person you may love can be the very trigger that spirals you off balance.

So the question I ask myself and you, are you gaining you right now? That’s right, are you gaining YOU? Or losing pieces here and there before you know it you’re everywhere, all the while thinking you’re put together or at least coming off that way. Hiding that Bipolar cloak and dagger in our pockets ready to pull that pocket inside out and release all that debris and shreds of crap at the bottom. You know the shit you feel in the empty pocket….looks like dust bunnies living there. Those dust bunnies are you, that debris is you and and all that pent up crap.

Are or you the cloth that the pocket is concealed in? Looking all sheik and stylish, but inside crying out with no voice? interesting how its this way or that and this goes for everyone bye the way, not just us bipolar people. People out there, you can learn a lot from those like me willing to share my life, thoughts, feelings, and you don’t have to have bipolar to gain insight either, this is a one size fits all kinda stuff that human beings go through. Just we may handle it a bit different.

I’m writing this for myself, for all those reading this, it’s self check time.

What is healthy? It’s having all YOUR needs met. Is this happening right now? Are do you feel short changed? I feel a bit short changed to tell you the truth. Hey, I am being honest.

Are you happy? Are or you up and down all the F’n way around and it’s due partially to the company you keep? Yeah I mean face it we all are a bit F’d up in our own way, but do we need more of it from others at specific turning points of our life? Crossroads….they are everywhere by the way, and just a reminder…uh.. they can happen any day.

Should you be alone? Yes! Sometimes being alone before polluted thinking takes over you, helps you to clearly see what you couldn’t before and remove yourself from any given situation whether it be love, business, friendships, or just being social at this time.

But living in this world you must take care of you first. You have nothing to give out to others no love or kindness if you don’t love yourself and are not genuinely kind to you.

The road ahead may be a bit stressful but if diplomatically approached you can ease through most anything bipolar or not.

These are my Bipolar Thoughts at this time, hope you got something out of it.

It’ my story, I’m sticking to it. What’s yours?

NJM~

~Incase you missed my interview on ~Moments of Clarity~See you on June 15th~

You can listen to me on the radio around the entire world via the link below. I will be with Tiffany once a month to help fight stigma on mental health and empower and bring hope to those who suffer bipolar disorder. ~NJM~
http://internetradiopros.com/momentsofclarity/

TAN-AM 1340 Tampa

WDCF-AM 1350 Dade City

WZHR-AM 1400 Zephyrhills

Listen Live Online: tantalk1340.com

Or….

Momentsofclaritywithtiffany.com