If Physical Illness was treated like Mental illness, it would be looked at differently.
Category Archives: Change
~Stigma~
Smeared dullness
Catatonic stare
That’s what they think
Washed out color
Long halls painted grey
Not a door insight
Ideas out of focus
Stifling, confusing
Lack luster, incredulous
emotions …….Clawing away the life fingers scraping their nails jagged and bloody, threads unravelling.. like the sound of a chalk board being scratched.
That’s what stigma, bias does isolates you.
Yet I exist Wrapped inside this cocoon~
Generic and uncategorized yet longing to be labeled and in a category ~ oh wait, I am… I fall under stigma mental illness under my skin, unseen yet relentless in my mind there are millions of my kind.
One size fits all as long as that size is extra large as to swallow my frame,as well as yours.
Swallowing my existence whole~
Preferably invisible~
Left unseen~
To myself~
Designated ~
As is~NJM

~Stigma~
Smeared dullness
Catatonic stare
That’s what they think
Washed out color
Long halls painted grey
Not a door insight
Ideas out of focus
Stifling, confusing
Lack luster, incredulous
emotions …….Clawing away the life fingers scraping their nails jagged and bloody, threads unravelling.. like the sound of a chalk board being scratched.
That’s what stigma, bias does isolates you.
Yet I exist Wrapped inside this cocoon~
Generic and uncategorized yet longing to be labeled and in a category ~ oh wait, I am… I fall under stigma mental illness under my skin, unseen yet relentless in my mind there are millions of my kind.
One size fits all as long as that size is extra large as to swallow my frame,as well as yours.
Swallowing my existence whole~
Preferably invisible~
Left unseen~
To myself~
Designated ~
As is~NJM

~In the Grey~It’s Where I’ll Stay~
I’m in the grey…….
Grey Chasm swallows
I’m in the grey it’s where I’ll stay for now
I will not attempt to move quickly
Nor will I be rushed
Do I fascinate?
Do I invoke fear? Hate?
Perfectly negate?
Am I your guilty pleasure…
Is there no distance yet to measure?
I’ll create my walls
Build my tower strong
Brick by brick no matter how long
Exterior crusted over with
Innuendos and regret
I’m in the grey
I will not be pulled away
In this Chasm I will stay
Until I decide, until that day
You can not reach me… There is no definitive here
No truth or lie
If I want to stay until I die
It’s then a matter of choice
The beauty of my grey instilled in me a voice
Slowly it drips…..spill forth from my lips
Turning my words to black and white
Finally to distinguish which is wrong and which is right
But I shall not take flight oh no, I will move slowly with precision
At the end of the day it’s my decision
For now I’m in the grey area
Safely in my tower, walls erected
While my thoughts become collective
Selective
In the grey

~The Depressive Side of Bipolar~
There are two modes of bipolar 1, as well as bipolar 2. In fact in all bipolar diagnosis you have two modes. Some of the bipolar labels have mixed modes which means being hypo manic and depressed at the same time.


~Water Fall Dipped Dream~great read!
The most important things are the hardest to say~With that my soul is shattered…..Out of all things in life I’ve lost my mind is the one thing I miss the most…. so go
Catch my thoughts in between a hazy morning and a rainy afternoon~clouds are optional~ storms inevitable but most interesting indeed~given in to thoughts you now feed~oh how I’ve searched for the lost places my entire life, places where dreams drip over waterfalls…And spectacular colors
To catch the spectrum
Prisms with possibilities
A place to be home
Be with me
Wear your sin
Upon my skin
Laced around the words
That I breathe in~forever floating together in the middle of the ocean………
Lost into one another
Yet so far away~

~Little Deaths~& this one….
I helped you Die those little deaths In your sorry existence
I gave you songs.
When you had no tunes left in you
I started to see the fire in your belly
And the steel running down your back
You were the most fearsome thing that ever lived
I know I breathed the life into you
I’m the one who awakened you However you started the fire
Now you must sleep
Embrace those little deaths
As a reminder of
The memory
Of me
In you alive For Eternity~
Not for Reproduction~

~The Shelf~


~Perimeters~
Perimeters~
