~DAR~Updated

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Hello how you feeling today We ended the month of May

While you were yet away

Doctors seem stupid in light of it all, I’ve watched for so long now saw how you fall

Hello my dear enemy my oldest friend half our lives are now gone this could be your end

I’m not going to sugar coat nor

Make it taste sweet, see we both shocked each other before

Knocked us off our feet.

I will always be here for you while I am here. There can’t be a promise no matter what you think you hear.

I realize now we both live our biggest fear.

I’m glad we found peace after all that fucked up shit.

I know you want to take back all the things you did, I want to forgive you but I did, I just don’t forget.

Knowing this is always going to be regret…. for us both.

We grew up together then grew far apart.

I hope they can heal you and your heart, yes it’s broken in many ways. 

But if they release you from the hospital now then count your days.

So we have your diagnosis congestive heart failure. You’re biggest challenge now is will God be in your favors, or will you dies in your 40’s like I once said,

If this is the case you are gonna be dead.

I am what I’ve become

And I have not a clue what I’ll be

But I have a clearer vision now and I see what I see.

Everyone deserves love in some type of way.

I pray to God you find that love before your dying day.

That’s what I pray

It’s all I have to say

Be well~

He needs you more.

Rejected like me don’t let him be. So live damn it, live change what you need. Think of your son now, let go of the greed.

I hope you read this and it plants the seed.

~NJM~

~I Fell on Black Days~

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How would I know that this would be my fate?

So I am reading blogs I follow I come acros ~In the sky~ on the blog I follow https://andeverythingisbeautiful.wordpress.com/

I left a comment I am not sure he allows my comments to be viewed~

Chris Cornell was my main man when I listened to Soundgarden…. my anthem song was ~Black Days~

I would play it and sing loudly as a true prayer as I road to work each day in Paducah Kentucky.

I felt the song, the lyrics the cries and message in the song.

Any way I’m posting my comment I left on the blog ~And Everthing is Beautiful~ incase he don’t approve it.

Here is what I ………

FUCK!!!!!this is why I don’t watch the news! When I hear these things I get confused. I gamble my life and romance suicide often without anyone knowing. I learned to keep quiet. A steady crappy diet of shit that you can’t take. Perhaps it is my genre the gen Xers to take. We lived through huge change and battles & fears the tears all the years and you look up and see you lived half your life for sure, and you just stop wondering what it’s all for. I keep candles burning Day and night in remembrance of all I have lost to the grave.

Suppose there no words spoken to save.

R.I.P Chris Cornell

See ya soon……

I will begin to draft all popular post and roll only the post I feel need to begin to be heard~ Thank you.

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I will take my popular work and drafted it not be seen and run only the 1017 cypress excerpts, retribution, premise of my book, mostly DONNELL KERR POST… the bishop post my Momma’s post if I don’t see more support on these. It’s dear to my heart you read them, like them understand them, the pain in them and rejection in them. I follow you because I value you and your words. I like them. I need these to take prevalence. Thank you ahead of time for understaning . I mean these are serious post NO ONE should have to endure. Where is the empathy???where is the love from all you who follow me? These post hit home and have a story that is the catalyst that provoked my illness. Sure indeed these are the things that also inspire the writing you do love. It hurts that they’re just overlooked !

The post that roll after this are the ones I seek support and to educate all that read them. There are Also some really old post too from 2014, Thank you for your empathy understaning and support.

~So I drank red tree ants~

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figured I share this since today has been a crying fest..

But that crying fest is because I miss my son very much. However the event I’m About to share turned the crying fest around when I realized that I drank ants.

No silly not on purpose.. Remember on
One of my recent post how I am addicted to this Ceylon imported peace tea.

Well I was going to take a med I needed.. And I was in the car after going run a few task.

I took my warm over night tea inside and took my pill, however I felt a bit more than my pill going down. I remember I have issues with frickin ants in my car..

It hit me, I poured what was left of my tea into a bowl and low and behold at least 20 ants came out of the can of tea..Yummy right?

Not really. Moral of my story, if you have ant problems in your car best not leave it over night, then decide to drink the rest.
Never know what’s creeping in the drink.

For me it was red tree aunts. Since I have a hard time eating lately suppose that will be my protein for the day.

Thank you for letting me share this, hope it elicits a laugh God knows I needed one.l

Peace tea and Ants… Yeah!

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~It Could Be Worse~ Fragmented~NJM~

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I drank the poison 

I sit quietly as storms brew around me

Damn dark clouds spinning wondering…………………could it be worse?

Lately I’m Reducing myself to a child like statements “I never asked to be born!” God.
Cloudy day you will not catch me vulnerable off guard 

Depression is my muse

So in my craziness let me lay and in your mouth of madness pray

Quit toying with me finish me this day already or release me

I need philosophical conversation less hesitation 

How about it is what it is, instead of trying to make it something that it isn’t

The worse that can happen is the worse.
Moods mixed dripping from a rusty faucet or are the bowels of despair and hopeless abandonment. Eating away at your core? Wanting to feel this way no more
If you entered into a relationship today with the knowledge of knowing it will come to an end, would you engage and interact within and with that relationship? Define relationship… It’s myriads to scrutinize. Is the notion of such cause for suicide? Control? What of these….relationships. You’re living one now. It’s a relationship based with you and life. The other people are just the variables.

What do the people who are worse off do?
You often here it could be worse …. Well what of those that are locked away in a murderers cage……. What do they think ? It could be worse? I’m gonna die? So truly what is worse?

I will not concern myself with what I’m no longer concerned with. Yet I do. Contradict indeed. I’ll grab your hand to lead the way to have concern for you its in my DNA.

It’s all of what God wants what if I do otherwise will I be quickly be condemned thrown to purgatory? No I’ve made the bed it’s my consequence nothing more.

Lazy thoughts cloud conclusions unknown to basic rationalization Algorithm calculation 

Over processed, infected by a virus. You are my virus, no cure in sight.
Seeds you planted are now overgrown weeds in my mind

Trimming them only makes them grow~
Bumpy potholes all over the road
Don’t make me your mission don’t be a mortar for me. Opposition. Save me.
Cloudy day you will not catch me vulnerable off guard 
I awake to………..An instant acute awareness of all things, sharpened senses that if not properly used self destruct

I concealed my soiled hands behind my back, somewhere along the line I must have gone off track
I see the end…. Look don’t you… I forget your vision is clouded, and I’m filtering differently too. Lacking true vision that’s you

Like bad news of a death you speak of things you know not of, You hurt, is that all you know? Could be worse.
Unknown visitation trying you prepare. What exactly are you preparing for? Always be ready, You are you be you. It could be worse.

You loved and lost. But greater love is he who carries the Lord in their heart. Love never loses. 
It could be worse 

Skeletons with rotting flesh cling A pool of blood maps out the trail Stench of death fumes raise high many try running as many die, guess it could be worse~

I’m sick of awaking in a fog. God would you sit awhile let me hear your thunderous heavenly voice say it’s all okay including the fog and the occasional fire. 
Tell me how long will we grovel at the feet of wealth and power How long will we bow to their golden calf.

How long will we curtsey to all the new religions? They water down truth until truth will be no more.  

The awkward moment I see your mind is sick too, you only mimic society so they never knew, hypocrite~
Did God know bout you’re dyin day that it be of your own hand or his that has its way?
I feel so completely incomplete Take my hands stretch them out nail me to the cross then nail the cross to my feet Damn Martyr~

Laid upon the tall green grass my mind laid in textiles like tapestry in my head. Dampened thoughts moist with residue of complex philosophy and skewed intent wondering where the hell my life went in a different path, I feel alike lot Sylvia Plath~
There is steam on the window with writing on the glass….. But the words are blurry, I’m rushed in a hurry………. But to where I’m hurried too I know not. What does it say? Hurry……ok but where?

In this corner you think I’m in, your talons about to sink in I feel your claws grasping my skin… About to fly away with your prize your meal that has eyes.

Remember now I’m never how you envisioned maybe it be best you rethink your decision   

Clearly I might snap and sting causing extreme collision.

I’m the benefits fully loaded equipt but without warranty yet still a guarantee.
The further back I step more space allowed between

I feel you less

Like a dog

I allowed you

To kick me

I returned 

Again

Again

To my vomit

Then I had enough snapped and said the end~
Flesh hanging from my mouth….,..Carries the pieces you took from me raw and intact with my words my mouth alone. Your loss.

Herald bringer state the case close it well. Once told no more to tell. Usurper~
Sand storms blind suffocate Quick sand sucks you in like hate… Oh precious longing fate

Flares up as flames ignite, you sink into the quick sand you lost all control.
Figured you might~

Ensue the fight~

Problem is neither is right~
Truth be told I want what I want 

Needs not the same, I’m over all childish games,
I don’t listen therefore I get hurt, pouring more pain in my heart

Still I hope somehow deep inside we never part, that God will allow for us a start….
Suppose we Will see…
What could be worse

~Individual Choice~

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A chance, and a choice. That simple. No one should live a life without the opportunity of a chance. Whether it is a chance to love or be loved. The chance to break free, live free. The chance to see what is and what is not. The chance to actually make the choice that is profound. In these all positive experience is possible . Oh yeah, and a voice .. The ability to comfortably say no, and excitably say yes, and to know you were heard.​~Always have a choice… That’s your chance~

NJM~

~Gone Are The Days Of True Christians and True Churches~ Test Of Faith~

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So I recently spoke about returning to church. Before I expound upon that event and events after this I want to speak a bit about what is on my heart.

While in the hospital (baker acted) I met a girl, she was in there for a suicide attempt. Her arms were sliced both at the wrist and above where doctors normally take blood. Her cuts required stitches.

There is a sense of loneliness felt in situations such as mine, such as hers. You feel there is no one, its why people attempt suicide. Suicide is away to stop feeling alone, alone around others, alone in the crowd, alone even though you are around ones you love, even when they don’t return the respect are love you give freely.

I’ve written a bit about suicide. I’ve attempted it a few time in my life. I still feel it takes balls to try to truly take your life at your chosen time. Why? lots of reasons. As much faith I have in God, there will always be doubt about the after life, hell, heaven, reincarnation, so forth so on…..even the thoughts of “this is it” this life begins and ends period. This is where faith steps in.

So when the girl saw me crying she came to me, arms wrapped and stitched where she sliced them with a razor blade. She hugged me and held my hand when No One else did. I don’t have much to offer anyone at this point of my life, I am living in a soon to be foreclosed home, and I just found out Friday that my future ex cancelled my auto policy. I was listed as a driver. Nothing new, he uses these same attempts to crush me, to hurt me each time events similar such as these have unfolded the last 4 years, injunctions put in place like I am the one trying to hurt him, yet he takes and takes from me, all the times when he was down and at his lowest I lifted him up.. Hell I woke on the 10th of this month to no electricity. Not because the bill was not paid, oh no. I paid the bill, however it was in his name and he shut it down. Again nothing new.

I began to ask the girl why she attempted suicide, she shared her story with me. She would be homeless upon release from the hospital. She was in an abusive relationship, and it dissolved leaving her without a home for her and her dog and two bearded dragons name Slyvia  and Drako.

I then told her that she was welcomed to come to my soon to be foreclosed home. I was released before her. The next day my door bell rang. It was the girl. She had 140$ from her last paycheck, no job because of the events, no clothes except the ones on her back, and just a purse.

At first I felt apprehension. I didn’t really know her. I had large issues of my own to deal with. But I extended the offer she had nowhere to go, so I allowed her to stay.The following day I took her to the house where she used to live to get her things(There was only a few boxes) and her dog Bandit and her two bearded dragons. We loaded her belongings and her pets and returned to my home(soon to be sold due to foreclosure).

I thought to myself how in the hell will I feed us, I had limited funds and issues of my own to deal with. I still have the same issues to deal with. Go figure.

Four weeks later she was still here no job. I took her to the library daily to do applications online( pretty much every thing is done online today)I called the church many in fact. I found NO Church that would help her, no shelters. I couldn’t keep feeding her and allowing the extra electricity to be used.

I called the church I had been attending and the Pastor said and I quote “we can give her 100$ this would get her out of my home”. Wow. So I am going to drop her and her pets at a shabby hotel with no money except the 100$ the pastor gave to pay for the 2 nights to “get her out my home” wow right, just Great. I am dealing with my crap and her crap too. Awesome. Lets double worry Yay.

I awoke the next day called my sponsor from NA and she said “Nicole some things reach beyond you, you’ve done all you can, You must take care of you.” Made sense, I didn’t like the thought of what I needed to do. I had to tell her I could no longer help her I must focus on my situation and did not need the added stress.

So I informed her that I could no longer help her…She had no job and had a few interviews but no call backs. I prayed that day both with her and by myself for the strength and hopelessness of the situation. As I cried both for myself and her and her pets. I decided to call my sponsor for counsel once again. As I was crying and telling her how I felt the phone rang. I didn’t answer it, for I was on the phone with my sponsor.

The calls were two jobs, thats right two jobs offers for her. I had prayed with her that day, and that day something great happened, God came through at the last minute. She is at work now as I write this. The job is walking distance. I explained to her that she can stay here until she gets two paychecks to supplement that large offering( said with sarcasm} from the church, you know the one, that 100$.

So now the point of this story. I left churches like that back 18 years ago because I saw more and more materialistic endeavors, more worldly desires and a sense of hypocrisy.  The bible states clearly to be not of the world nor the things of the world…But More and more churches are now like businesses.Gone are the days of what Jesus had in mind when he said “do unto others as you want done to you, if your brother or sister need food feed them, if the need cloths, give them the shirt from your back. Be charitable be christ like. I don’t think Jesus had in mind that the big fancy church that I attended, where many wealthy people praised and worshiped “God” was his vision.  I originally thought when they knocked at my door “hey good christian people” however they were in a subdivision where my beautiful 250,000$ dollar home was, any many other bigger homes as well. The red flag didn’t occur until I began to think…..they were in a neighborhood where upper middle class live, where they can preach the spirit of tithing that 10% of your salary. No they were not in the projects knocking on doors, or poor neighborhoods. I suppose it finally hit me .They look for their kind, the kind that have money and can add riches to their pockets. Charlatans I believe is a suited term.

So I am back at square one. I still have faith in my God, notice I say my God…I don’t serve the God hypocrites serve. I am trying my best to help even in my hour of need.

What I am saying is that what Jesus had in mind was charity, love, sacrifice. Not building large churches that the rich can praise and worship a God that is not of Christ.

I texted the pastor today, I told him that the check they wrote for her to stay at the roach motel would not be cashed, that she actually got a job so I don’t have to “just get her out of my house”. I told him I have been faced with homeless situations of my own, and I could never do that to another human being although it seems many others can.

He Never texted back. I mean why would he, people such as myself and her represent the truth and sad situations that make Christians such as those uncomfortable. We tarnish their “all is prosperous and everything is perfect world”.

The Church is you, the Church is me. Want to be a missionary? Then look around right here in the USA! There is a need right here, you don’t have to travel to far to reach those in true need. Those souls out there that are ignored because their troubles make you uncomfortable, they are the truth that we would rather ignore.

Gone are the days of the true church, the charitable church. The funny thing is that St Timothy’s Catholic Church offered more help both to me an my friend and we have never attended their church.

Tomorrow, well actually today is Sunday, I will be in church right here in my home, and I will be tithing alright, my tithing will be the offering of my self to others in need.

I don’t know which God you serve, but I can tell you this I don’t serve a commercialized God, oh no, indeed I try and walk in a Christ like spirit, regardless of the trails I face both now and later. I hope for anyone reading this to come out of your comfort zone and remember that the message of Jesus was that of Love, acceptance, charity, helping those less fortunate.

Truly Gone are the days of a true Church, always remember you are the church, the temple of the holy spirit, the example. The greatest testimony is your life and how you live, how you give, how you love. That is what Jesus had in mind.

Be an example, be different, don’t worry about what others think of you, worry only about what counts. What counts in the end it is between you and God, so make your life and testimony count. Go be a missionary right in your town, city, your country.

That is faith, that is love, that is Church, now go live it. Pray, talk with God as you would talk with another human being. Yell if you must, lay your burdens down, always pray. Prayer changes things that need to be changed, and try to keep your feet upon the path God wants you to travel. Lord knows I’ve strayed enough.

Peace. God bless. NJM~

 

~I Could Have~

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I could stay here unmoved paralyzed
Caught between two places three faces
I could pray till my dying day
I could have so little or way to much to say
There are many things that could be done
Many battles to be won
But I always seem to surrender when it comes down to one ….. Battle
And they know, they know. Both warned. If one checked out the other left off. It could be that way forever
It could if I let it
It could if I would
It could because mostly both my life and my thoughts are misunderstood
It could be different if I chose
It could fade away I suppose
It could be this or it could be that
It could all be a matter of fact
It should
It could
It would
If only
Could

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~Fragments of Life~ In Short Thoughts~NJM~

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“Thoughts of situations that have happened or may never happen. Some are in poetic brief statements. Others short stories, scenarios, entertained thoughts of mine I hope you relate to in some abstract form. This is a different style of writing I am attempting, I hope to engage all. I believe these fragments are yet to be, or already live between you and me

 

He drew in the smoke…watching the smoke that was not contained in his lungs wave and twirl. Slowly the pain went away.

Riveting! the chill spread up her spine, hair stood up on the back of her neck, and goose bumps covered her body.

Pressure from your hand crashed down through the glass obliterating it into a mini explosion of ice shards that sliced right through skin… I felt your need of me of each breath, each time you pressed again and again. Then circuits burned and all boards went down without messages needed to convey system failed. Even our binary was off beat. Not one code understood. Alone without value. Yet we stayed.

Spilt time puddled upon the floor of existence like a glass of milk pooled on the kitchen table waiting… To be cleaned up.

“He was so sick of having to check his blood glucose, so sick of needles, the infusions sets, and the carb counting, he was sick of being so different.”

There is a vessel of emptiness waiting to be filled by a presence so extraordinary that to contain it is not possible, yet to walk with it most probable furthermore destined.

Up head the distance revealed an alluring shadow likened to a darkness of smoke rather than of a shadow when examined closer. I indulged the illusion by complete acknowledgement only to be aware it wasn’t an illusion but you. Forces of nature gathered the four corners blowing the winds that crashed gracefully upon the shores as the sun burned brightly reflecting diamonds glistening in the sand retracting in your eyes.

Hands of precision tickling the tips of your split apart fingers reaching …Eyes that meet with twinkles and the awkward yet unfolding uniqueness of possible new love. Butterflies blossoming in my abdomen feeling like taking flight could be possible, as the moment etched further into their minds burning singeing in their hearts memories that live forever and he kissed her. Her first kiss.

She gurgled a scream that could be heard for a mile. The madness of her reality split. Vengeance seeped into her veins. She will never be the same.

Fragments of each other all scattered over our flesh our mind. Nanoparticles mixed by the human touches and shared thoughts, that’s what we are fragments, and I love each fragments each frame and all especially the stills. Captivating.

The psychiatric said to him, You have bipolar disorder. He looked baffled, no mental illness ran in his family. In a daze he stared back at the doctor… Thinking I won’t live like this. What will everyone say, the stigma, it’s already too much I can barely function.

“Couldn’t have been that profound if it didn’t stick.”

I often dream of far away places and far away faces obscure and unfriendly, and I can’t seem to wake up.

Swear we were packed like a can of sardines in that car, but it didn’t matter we were happy just to be there

I watched as the sky blossemed into a live picture show above the horizon slowly revealing itself inch by inch rising as it painted the canvas of the sky, the illumination grew stronger it was a sunrise to remember.

They yelled “sinner! Murderess! You’re killing your unborn child. Specters claiming to be Christians judging her as she walked closer to the clinic doors. The door seemed a mile away, she couldn’t help but shrink away inside and pray….God help me.They judged her. But yet call themselves Christians. If that’s Christianity I want no part of it.They judged her. But yet call themselves Christians. If that’s Christianity I want no part of it. Then climbed upon the examination table.

I got in!!! I got in!!! As he ran into his clique of friends. Waving his acceptance letter to the university that would pave his way to his unknown future.

Her legs dangled from the edge of the bed. Feeling all hope gone. Wondering if heaven and hell exist will God let her in… She swallowed the pills three by three and uttered  “Father, Son, Holy Spirit” looking down the bottle empty, as empty as she felt. The loss was too much. slowly consciousness slipped away.

I threw your little body up up into the air as you softly landed into my arms and I pulled you close. Your smell, your small hands your eyes big in wonderment looking at me… I was enveloped by your love my angel from God.

I narrowed in and lowered my knees just enough to give me the angle and sprint needed for an effortless beautiful dive.I swam to the edge of the pool looked up and it was you, we both smiled.

He was the object of her desire. He loved knowing this. Tormented her at times. Like Dangling carrots. Winds of change blew in and her heart finally desired someone who desired her back. He was left in the wake of her tides as she drifted away at sea farther from him and closer to the one to be her true lover. Regret festered in his desire at that moment.

At the speed of snail I passed your house. The wind blew harshly by. I stared hoping to catch a glimpse of you. I would have settled for the family dogs appearance. But you’re gone… And I wait like a fool believing you will return.

 

“Does our absolute rise beyond infinity or does it die when we do?”

 

“Sometimes I’m so tired of all of it I just feel like settling.”

 

Laying down eyes closed listening to the crackles of leaves beneath your feet and the trickle of the distant stream near by, my mind wanders, I can only imagine what we would do behind closed doors.

 

You’ll drive I’ll shoot. We’ll be a modern day Bonnie and Clyde. Naw Micky and Malory instead, what’s your thoughts?

The car door slightly open as one foot dangles in and the other out. Turning the key  in the ignition I stop and grin thinking about you and I’m positive you’re grinning too thinking bout me, aren’t we just the two?Me and you.

 

She eagerly waited like a kid waiting to open a gift for his call. Listlessly she hung her body on the end of the bed, half on half hanging off. A despair that was crawling in her. Then it rang. Her heart jumped and she sprung for the phone,  “Hey how you doing “His voice came across the line….. what he doesn’t know is she wasn’t doing nothing but hurting thinking he may not call. If he knew how she intense she felt he would call early on purpose….. But stubborn she’ll keep grim self deprecating sides to herself.

 

Mosaic of memories and pieces of a life kept in frames upon the shelf  but not kept in order randomly arranged.

 

Can I be a part of your Life time? and all the ones in between……..

Finally She ran into him. After years there he was on the same grocery isle as me only feet away. Years she thought in the same town, same small town. There eyes met but she quickly looked away. It was too much as tears puddled in corners of her eyes she felt a hand on her shoulder, he finally found the courage to tell her, speak to her… Was it too late? The pain to much? Her heart said “not this time. Your moment of extraordinary has arrived.” Let him in.” So she looked at him then to the ground as tears flowed. He lifted her chin to look at him. That was all it took. Forever began.

Not for Reproduction~NJM~

 

~Contemplating Courage~

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Courage is looked upon in many ways.
A definition I ran across explained courage as this : the ability to do something that frightens one.
My personal definition of
Courage is not caring how others view you, to believe in you and the abilities you have to meet the outcomes you strategically planned without validation or others approval. Courage it’s how you believe.

Courage. Powerful will etched upon ones soul. The Need to express, to attain, to make, to conquer, to bring down, to uplift, without fear of the result but with courage to step out in faith and take that approach, the strategy festering in one’s mind, words spoken, thoughts into realization, dreams to make come true. How many ask “Oh precious courage may I find you?”

Are dreams always positive? Courage can be warped, read the first above definition…. “That frightens one” why is courage frightening?
Why? It’s unknown, not knowing the outcome.
Is intent always pure?
Is the reason of intent for gain or to release?
Was the courage you conjured up original?
Was that yours? Your thoughts, ideas or was it recycled desires of others?
Originality?
What denotes the lack of ones courage?
Cowards are we? Taking no chance, no reason to believe?
Believe in what? Yourself? God? Merely un seen intangible power that propels you closer to what you invested into this venture called life that changes you forever.
Why?
Courage. Are you willing to die? To submit? To let go? To hold on, strike first, be humble?
Can being humble be thought courageous?
Is not the servant very often just a master in disguise? Serving takes courage… As does proper leadership.
Is it not also true that which may seem frail and meek often furious when threatened? Courage or instinct can it be both?
Temperament, continence the way one is perceived by others, does courage always show a badge of honor, or at times the code of silence,  even further the sentence of death.
Can courage also weaken ones being if inability is found in attaining the outcome desired when you took the step of faith and acted in courage? Will it leave you bitter? Resentful?
Or did the failure of your lacking courage fuel the fire, giving yet more to desire? To attain? To never refrain.
The bitterest truth is always better than any of the sweetest lies in that courage won’t deny.
Courage is rooted in control
To not feel off kilt to gain the balance needed to execute with flawless precision that which you value.
Repeat… That which YOU value.
Do you have the courage it’s down to decision.
Was the decision you made the one that was right?
Will it be a path of least resistance? Hardly…mostly it will be the need to fight? Mostly. Not always.
It takes courage you see in how you live, to learn to let go, to often forgive.
That’s right. It takes courage to let go, to let God, Destiny, the powers that be take over your steering wheel and sit back wait to see, if the courage to give control to a greater force than you? To hold you up carry you through.
Many may think letting go is giving up. I think it to be otherwise. By nature the need to “even the score” seems an ongoing theme. Vengeance ..hmmmm. A vengeful heart is never free. Shackled by the need, to even the wrong. what wrong? Oh the wrong you felt done to you. I see.
We have wrongs that we endured.
Letting go takes courage. To not dwell. Be done, released of the spell.
However, If it’s about holding on and never letting go be ready you see for to battle you go.
Courage that causes least harm to conquer what’s right.
If one can live/love by that code then how beautiful it would be, I believe it may change the definition you see.
Is courage rooted in selfish wants or for the greater good. Is the latter the better? Is the first good?
Best left for fate to decide for somethings are not to be touched taken and surely not mistaken. Especially in pride.
Pride can cloud your courage you see
Pride can be the demise leading to a bitter end, leaving you with nothing not even a friend.
Take courage
Be strong
Draw in a deep breath
Stand up act even if the action is indeed non action. Have no fear for In that notion alone you bring courage near.
Be courageous. Learn discipline too. In that word denotes courage in you.
Let it spill over and be contagious. Want to know my personal definition of courage? Courage = Faith.
The question is what is your faith rooted in?
Now ask yourself and live it, That simple.
The courage to believe and still let go, and all the while deep inside to truly know.
Take Courage.
Not for Reproduction~