I want short distance to close love, spontaneous outburst of affection not planned touches or moments, fast reflex amazing flexibility both internally and externally, truth always, no lies, crazy mad love.. the kind that legends are made of,not level headed well thought,yet always coming out right, tThunder I want Storms of flesh under sheets, I want Devine reward for a strength well mastered, I want change as long as it reveals beauty, to cry less, laugh more, long walks, rainbows 🌈 I want money lots of money just to share and not to care leaving all burdens behind, I want to be kind, even when someone has been careless with words and emotional harm, I want to see it my way, I want my way to align with what my God has planned. I want to be strong stand straight learn my best to not hate.
Ok. I’m gonna take you on a tour to try and experience what mania feels like. I’m writing about my traits mostly, and a few small stories along the way with added visual effects. So come on in…..
So What does a manic episode feel like? Lets begin. The fun part:
(if there is such a thing) it’s like your on cocaine. So if you’ve ever done coke then that’s a good platform to grasp exactly how the early stages of mania feels like for me. Ten feet tall & bullet proof.
This stress will then manifest itself in Creative ways. First my interest in music increases. So much so that every song is speaking to me and was most likely written for me, and has special meaning that I’m obviously the only one able to receive the special message, the only one able to hear the encrypted meaning. I’ll think of a song I want to hear, I’ll shuffle my entire list of songs on my iPhone(740 songs) and about 9 times out of 10 the song I wanted to hear will be selected . “Wow that’s a connection” I’ll think. So now the universe is speaking to me through the songs as they play.
Next I’ll begin to have a pattern to my speech. Not only will I begin to speak faster but I’ll speak in riddles, rhymes and beats. I become the Dr Seuss of bipolar rhyming. And every word is profound and perfect. Why? “But of course” because its coming from me. I think to myself “it’s the nuggets of wisdom that fall from my mind, it’s the words that escape you that somehow I find” kinda stuff.
Finally numbers come into play. I’m a 0101 baby, born January 1st! Alas I’m binary! And that ignites the magic around me. Things come to life and meaning can be found anywhere I look especially in numbers. Meaning to what? Meaning to life! How I can save the world! Wait I can’t even save myself.
I put it back outside later. Now I’m the queen of the bees! Or at least for the time being this seems to be the case.
Next lets take life on a dangerous dare! I get into my car, decide at 7:00 am to go back home 2 hours away. But I’m gonna make it there in 1 hour & 15 minutes. Why? Well I can drive with such precision and ease when I’m super human. So much so that speeds of 100 miles an hour is achievable once my mind, my body and the road, adapt to my driving style. Which I proceed to drive the entire way home at speeds between 90 to 100 miles an hour. Can’t let that speedometer not be on my lucky number!! 0101 my birthday, the encrypted magical message. thinks to myself “Must keep achieving speed of 101! I can do it!” And I did. Thank God I’m alive to recall this to you, and that no one was killed
When the world keeps stepping on your dreams just create stairs~NJM
A Servant is a Master in Disguise~Someone wise~
It’s best to now switch to twitter to keep up with me. Go to @Omegaalpha1 or it @Alphaomega1? Try see not sure lol
That’s where I’ll be if you want to HEAR me~
God speed to all~ signing out~
I am the painter of my life
But the sculptor has the say
The one that reminds me
Each and everyday~
Pray….. know that your words are you, as I am the word too
As are you.
Want to live forever my child
Want to be free again…..wings again run wild?
You will move on from this ethereal area…
This realm of this world 🌎
Dimensions vast but the one thing on this Earth that will last
Immortalize you your bloodline
WORDS write put in plain sight
Take your words paint your life
Let me mold you, refine with fire 🔥
A love so real, that burning desire
Deep in your belly with steel down your back …….your a wild young hybrid full of these words, you spin and you weave……
But dear Angel your words live forever long after you leave
Follow me on twitter for other blurbs of thought I don’t put here.
See you in my twitter feed
So many trinkets, yet each second less time, when I see those two letters I think….. Everything’s Fine~Stay Safe~All in Time~
Say this prayer and mean each word you say. Love will come to you. It has for me.
Lord forgive me
I have to say
I never imagined life this way
One person can enter
Into a life
Makes you want to live
To share and be free
Never ever again
Having to be lonely
This cross I bare
It’s becoming to much
I seem to feel so out of touch
I only want to believe
That someone will find me love me
And never leave
So this poker game has to end
I lay down my cards now
I have to fold
This old heart is getting old
I don’t know what will be
But I ask you let my soul mate find me
By the power of three
Let it be~
I can’t sleep. The full moon brings energy. Further more I was attacked physically by my WASBAND.
Yes wasband. Not x husband he is a was now no longer.
I am sure my PTSD IS FULL FLARE and I’m alert waiting thinking and having night terrors.
I’m watching karma eat him up, I don’t want my son to be a casualty.
But he has been mind Fucked to a point of a possible NO RETURN. It’s killing me inside.
That’s all I can say. I ask that you pray. Pray for my son, to have clarity of mind and safety.
Well insomniac signing off. Forgive typos I am writing in the dark.