~Accounability Collector~

In bowels of deceit you were born

Silence prevails

As dynamics fluctuate

Blood runs through

Veins yet…. no heart

A strange life

Life not meant for here

Life force with out life

Without love

Abandoned me, it’s ‘s what you do~

My voice will haunt you because I loved you~

Out the window stare

Trees leaves glistening

Sunlight dances upon them

Love has forsaken me

But Angels prevail

Breathing and whispering

Weeping for my numb

Unresponsiveness

Trying to ignite my flame of life

To save me all the strife

To late

The flames falls….. falling over

The precipice….in my heart has a steep drop

Flames burn out as they fall downward into the body, the shell of who I was

I am no longer

My life half there

Half gone

Timing, Destiny

Can kiss my ass

I’ll chose when or if

I decide to leave or stay

Best get on knees

Best pray

Memories don’t dissipate

Scathing scars

Blood runs

Slowly seeping

Out

What have you done

You fool

Foolish games

Stop

Because! …love no more

John Keats” there is no happy love

More happy happy love”

Please…
Nazareth” Love hurts

Love scars

Love wounds and marks

Any heart not tough or strong enough

To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain

Love is like a cloud, it holds a lot of rain

Love hurts”
You had the the truth in the lyrics

Music can express

Art can express

But you’ll never again have Enough to impress

What does it take?

What it takes you don’t have,or was it Me, I didn’t …..all so complicated you see~
The accountability collector called, said its time to pay your bill it’s long past due~

~This Empty Space~

I don’t feel you anymore This empty space you used to fill

To paint the picture in our mind

Those days long gone we search to find

Your image faded by years gone by

Your voiced muted

Your fragrance no longer lingers

Your thoughts no longer shared

Your laughter gone

I don’t feel you anymore

This empty space you used to fill

This empty space~

A lost Love~this one…

You love….. I love you, but look At what our love has brought us?

Hurt?

Pain?

What of the loss?

I love you,  you love me,but look tell me what has that love brought us…..

Look at us

Save your apologies

Your words have no meaning for me anymore

My heart hurts not for you anymore, don’t flatter yourself to much.

Perhaps my soul is turning into metal. Heart made of steal, maybe baby I’m to damn real.

My heart aches for my own Stupid ignorance and ever believing you truly….

Love Lossed~

Yet again…. and on and on round and round… where it lands nobody knows…..

~NJM~Can You Feel What I Feel? Let’s make it part of the deal~

I awake to your thoughts of me causing a restless longing I no longer care to touch or feel. I awake to you wanting to hear me, but I stay silent. I awake and remember how I wanted your love once at any cost. Now I’ve counted the cost it’s of no value to me.

I awake I feel your loss, your longing , I know because I lost you the day you rejected me, just took your rejection and mental abuse awhile for it to sink in. It has. In the words of the late great Kurt Cobain If you truly want me then…… Come as you are, as you were

As I want you to be

As a friend, as a friend

As an known enemy…take your time, hurry up, the choice is yours but don’t be late!

~Do you Understand Freedom?

This moment transparent

Lucid
Left empty without
World is mad
Crazy
Fast faster
Lights blurred by speed
Minutes tick tock
Pace of the clock
Can’t keep up
Burning bright star struck 
Retracting to pin point
Super nova
Creating more chaos
Born in the middle
Escape is not an option
On the edge of each paradigm 
Trying the edge of difference
Trapped in ignorance
Ability of beauty
Beauty captured by few
Few can capture
The moment
Chaotic beauty of clarity
Bowing out 
Off stage
Fast faster on we rage 
The world our cage
Freedom found only in loss
Nothing to lose
Freedom
That moment 
Beautiful naked free

  • 

~I’ll Always be~Mystery….My words…I did not put this here~

I’ll always be wanting the unrequited love~

I’ll always be the piece that don’t fit~

I’ll always be looking for that character defect to see, if it exist in you then it also exist in me~

I’ll always hurry with no place to rest~

I’ll always be able to run with the best~

I’ll always be watching, looking. But I will not settle.

Perhaps my soul is turning into metal. Heart made of steal, maybe baby I’m to damn real.

I’ll always will believe there is a God~

I’ll always have illness of the mind this makes it hard to find my kind~

I’ll always fall into dick sand if I’m not watchful of intent. Where the hell this one went~

I’ll always try to discipline my self in ways many won’t understand~

I’ll remain celibate and untouched even by me till I find that man~

I’ll buy a beach shack if he never shows up, pour my coffee in my cup work on my Novels and be married to Neptune king of the sea, on the shoreline walking that’s where I’ll always be~

~To My Dad

To my loving Dad Nicholas John Moncada 12-15-31 to -1-1-2003 Love my Dad~ Greatest man I’ve ever known~ probably the only reason I truly understand love. That man loved me no matter what I did, he stood behind me through so much, and always always believed in me~ before he died he said “honey we wanted you to be a boy, but I thank God above your were a girl .
So glad you turned out to be a girl”

You live on, in me, and my son I named after you.. Last name and all~Nicholas Moncada !
You are greatly missed~

20140615-195226-71546019.jpg