Here I am
Know that I shall not hang on
So why can’t I let go?
In my dreams when I’m with you
Somehow I forget to breath
You got me like a rag doll
Now I’m dancing on your string
And I keep trying
To figure out
Who you are to me
Maybe all that
We were meant to be
Is beautifully unfinished
Cause your’re the one
I can’t lose
You’re the one
That I can’t win
Maybe all that we were meant to be was beautifully unfinished
Go to bed? Nah I was just going to dance naked under the moon light to gods of old to come and save my wretched soul.
My mouth of madness doth angel speak the mortal ties grow deathly weak.
The glare of moons glow sweeps over my skin
I’ll dance this dance like I’ll never dance again~
I recently wrote about truth and forgiveness, upon waking after a decent sleep I awoke inspired to write a few more bipolar thoughts. So after a bit of prayer, and thanksgiving I felt the need to expound upon other issues considered taboo, subjects of a certain nature, issues we skirt around that are easily ignored by some of the very people who are afflicted with this virus of the mind we call mental illness.
See often time’s conflict or malice, jealousy; hate can be just like mental illness… Grudges held, harbored with indifference, tormenting the mind, much like the virus we call mental illness.
Think of a computer being the mind, and often times our computers have a virus, which eats away at the data, causing the computer to run slowly maybe even shut down, in any case a virus sucks. No amount of defragmentation will remove the corrupt virus. Instead it needs a full diagnostic repair, a definitive diagnosis to best find the course of treatment.
However unlike our computers that we can easily replace the mind unfortunately cannot.
A virus whether it is of the physical, mental, or emotional kind, can often occur simultaneously. You know the kind where your sitting on a toilet diarrhea coming out one end, vomit out the other.
In my recent exchange on topics uncomfortable to discuss the subject of mental illness came up. I’ve had the opportunity since becoming a member of Quora/Wordpress community to be a spokesperson of sorts. You know the one, or in my case the go to Gal if a question you may want information on with regard to mental illness needs answering in a more discrete way, because like I stated above its a skirt around issue laden with stigma, shame and even remorse. I understand, its cool, you’re not ready to go to public or speak out yet about this virus of the mind. In fact I feel honored that others feel I am approachable with such sensitive issues of the mind.
I’ve exchanged some great and touching views, ideas, personal feelings on the topic of mental illness both in the question forums, and mostly via private messages.
I’ve strived to bring light to what I call “the forgotten subject” or plainly stated the ignored area of existence that each and every one of us encounter whether it be your personal illness, a spouse, relative or a friend or an undiagnosed one of your own.
Before I learned to fully embrace the diagnosis I received, I was among the majority of “those people” Who prefer to ignore, belittle, or just firmly state the phrase “it’s all in your head, snap out of it” and truly it is “all in our head, your head, my head’……..
Now hold on a minute, in no way am I saying you’re mentally ill necessarily.
No, I’m merely offering up dialogue to paint the picture in your mind of the message, my plight about a subject near and dear to me, one that has affected me personally due to both parents and their parents having some form of mental illness and my present diagnosis.
It’
Not For Reproduction~
My inspiration my muse
You are the rain tapping
On the tin roof
As thunder rolls above
The sheer silence
Your soft whisper
The sun glistening upon leaves
Peaking through clouds
The way he looked at me
The way he touches
His smell
Those eyes
The way the child smiled at me
The book I have read
Thoughts left unsaid
Books still on a shelf
The passion once felt
The love I have
The pain I endured
The doves cooing
The birds chirping
The wind that blew by
The beautiful blue sky
The perfect storm
Lightening strikes
The lyrics to a song
Played in my mind all life long
Life how it sometimes goes wrong
The crush I may have
Conversations that have ended awkwardly
Trees and their amazing strength
Their roots
The touch of a friend who taps your shoulder
The fact that we are all getting older
The smell of rain
The touch of my pets fur
The painting at the museum
The words beautiful explanations
Brought to life
The questions
The oceans
The rivers & Lakes
All Gods creatures
Including the snake
Inspiration is all around
Even your feet on the ground
Sand between my toes
The skip in my jump
Fire & ice
How to entice
Elements and beauty all around
That’s where my inspiration is found~
I don’t need you to rattle my cage every damn day.
I don’t need you
& your diabolical demonic rage
I don’t need this cage
I don’t need you
I don’t need this cage
And All it’s cost all its pain
To go on further
To turn further to turn that damn page
I don’t need that fowl threat
I don’t pay your deadly debt
I look away
No more I will hear your voice
No longer hear you say
So I’ll say it again let it sink in
Don’t rattle my cage
Causing the rage
I’m leaving this battle
May it shake may it rattle
But I’m leaving the fucking cage
I don’t need you
Don’t need this cage
As keys dropped
I walk away
Away from
The cage