Timeless Love~Kismet’s Dance~

I linger in this place far too often,
Entertaining my deep desire.
To share this existence as one being,
Igniting passionate fire.
But years are stacked like a large pile of books waiting to be read, instead forgotten.
We transcend time only to face, the ever reminding calendar,
This overwhelming space…. This gap..
….Tallied up in years,
Unrequited love….
….Captivating fears…..
Age holds no rank in timeless love,
But for some there is regard.
Many won’t understand this love, Sowing strife to make it hard.
Hold fast the image I’ve etched into your mind.
Cross reference your every thought.
Search beyond all reason,
Delving deep within your heart.
The truth be double edged you see,
your need yet unfulfilled.
I linger in this place.
Closing my eyes I see your face,
I linger… As do you.
We linger awaiting yet a chance,
To close our eyes to this life,
To awake in the next life to dance.
My love to dance!
Waltz with me eternally,
Rhythmically Swaying to our song.
Cosmically meeting in each life,
Never to determine just how long.
Awakening in each life meeting by more than just a chance…..
Kismet …. in the next life yet again to dance…. Kismet’s dance.
My love to dance!
Dance my love …….To Dance.

20140607-202436-73476936.jpg

20140607-202437-73477283.jpg

~Breath Suffocate Untimely Death~great read~

I write many poetic pieces some beautiful… But I’m truly a cynical poet

I hope you can read this and gain its truth and remember that death can happen in youth. Enjoy.

~Breath Suffocate Untimely Death~

Part 1.

Suffocating upon needs that are often forgotten losing importance~

Open that window let the outside in~

The world we’ve been born into our earned sin~

Sent to reside foolish rules often broken we hide despise ….hypocrites …are we? living within, believing without seeing thoughts clouded over with doubt~

Knowing mask shields unspoken thoughts of fear rejection, desire for perfection~

Casual communication God help please, oh please can you repeat that sentence again, go on say that again, and again. It’s repetitive resound stealing time never gaining it back, stolen suffocating spit it out quickly speech just runs on, is there ever an end into this needles repetition yet again and again~

Suffocating, choking refusing to see hide between tasks between lies wearing masks, craving the spotlight that place, face in lights flashing brightly above others, laughing fake, fifteen minutes of fame forgetting the game is debilitating yet feeling the importance the sickening strain~

Feeling like winning first place in a fifth grade science fair feeling proud having others stare at your perfect work your well thought masterpiece

Still searching for that aching relief~

Sit right there suffocating, breathe just breathe, breathe that breath suck it in trying secretly all the while unsure where to begin~

Pass time with confidence those we propagate later to only negate, even family often we hate yet smile into that camera dance that dance, talk that talk, walk that walk robbing yourself, suffocate go on hold that breath the way all this is going all these dreams unfulfilled goals diminished work so unfinished and breathing it in won’t bring back the breath in the end all that’s left that elusive breath searching for air often life is completely unfair~

Crave always craving cunning tongue spews forth truth that are truly lies, the soul bleeds and cries loudly inside, keep that smile, smile really big take that picture hold that moment elegant style, ah yes elegant style that picture so perfect that fake ass smile~

That image that picture of holding our breath suffocating, breathe, don’t breathe instead we leave pieces, scattered in space knowing all the while about that untimely place it suffocates negates~

Gasp try to breathe Instead hold that breath because in this life the one thing that is certain none will escape the beautiful yet pitiful untimely death. Death, we all die can’t you see this with your mortal eye? Is there such thing as a timely death? No. Either way breathe your last breath. So suffocate hold your breath that breath sucking in and hold tight but you can never win the fight~

Part 2

Suffocating in the shadow of hate together a dance eternal as two souls mate~

Still evermore mediate, complicate, hate is exactly that which often suffocates you, me all that we see death awaits in each corner, ending breath so breathe breath, suck it in but you will not win born to die blind eyes see the heaven clatters and hell shakes, no way to determine the in or out pray unto God your soul is tried true otherwise the devil waits upon you~

A fashion and mold so uniquely you so breathe go on and breathe all the while suffocating forgetting the origin of divinity of which we were born~

Sent straight from heaven down to this earth, the Creator God that gave breath allowed our birth, still suffocate feel that nothing left suffocated by the shackles of this existence the very creation that was executed flawlessly or so thought but was it in blood that we were bought?~

A pawn in a game of chess you see, the stadium of gods watch and wait to reach for their pawn to take, and before we go to the creator that made you, me, will you breathe your last breath or suffocate~

The question remains did you live your life in love or live life in vain? Very simply one can hate scratching cursing as they suffocate. Truly can you breathe?~

Wind enticing leaves blowing the flowers slightly bending but to feel that breeze, its unseen force blowing touching the skin and caressing our hair ah yes the wind so wild and free ever reminding of the unseen breath that nature does take yet not enough do we stop for a brake to enjoy the mysterious breeze created by the forces of nature still suffocate, clearly not seen that we’re not breathing we suffocate did you receive that moment as the wind whisked by, or did you gasp choke allowing breath a foreboding goodbye? Flooded ever breaking crashing suffocating slowly stealing each breath it was bought never ours to begin, it was borrowed from God and elements unknown yet meet the supreme being who sits on the throne so breathe as you suffocate letting go, your last breath as you finalize your inevitable untimely death~

Suffocating breath~

Not For Reproduction~

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/86b/69134071/files/2014/12/img_0084.jpg

~Beautiful Are We~CWL~

Beautiful are we

Exhilarating no words needed for communicating

It’s just in our eyes no limits are set

Moments desires never forget~

Beautiful are we

As we lay intertwined

Sweat shimmering over our skin

Repeating the motions

Again and again

We climax reaching the apex

Strengthening this union sealing this

Bond~

Beautiful are we

Love affair written in stars~

We vigorously crave each

Other night after night~

Beautiful are we

Searched for years

Pushing all limits past all the fear… All those tears….. Gone~

Beautiful are we

Our hearts exchanged

Brings about change our minds rearranged

Some would say we’re deranged

Illness of ghosts that lives in our head

Often both romancing suicide wanting to be dead~

Beautiful are we

Hearts beat as one

This love affair has just begun~

Beautiful are we

Vulnerable yet strong as we walk the world together

No longer alone~

Beautiful are we

Bound by this enchantment released from our hell

Not having to convince

For we have nothing to sell~

Beautiful are we

Showing all our flaws standing face to face

Yet still allowing space this acceptance this grace~

Beautiful are we

Walking hand and hand not breaking our ties

To tell our truth not to speak lies~

Beautiful are we

Fragile we are in moments of truth

Allowing our Filth and doubt

To be exposed not giving a damn what others think

From a different well is where we drink our personal fountain never ending Enduring and deep~

Beautiful are we

As we gaze into our eyes

Seeing eternity beyond the heavens, stars…..the sky’s~

Beautiful are we

Magnificent not being conformed

Loving our difference magnetic charm~

Beautiful are we

Wouldn’t you agree?

To behold two souls finally set free~

Beautiful are we

Both crazy as can be

Illness of our mind

Finally finding each other one of our kind~

Beautiful are we

Lunatics in many ways

Mere mortals secretly covet

To live just one of ours days~

Beautiful are we

Daring tempting fate

Praying to my God the heavens to never separate~

Beautiful are you my love for not stealing my beauty

Beautiful are we

So beautiful~

IMG_0037

~Out of Stock~

Images do not play out as you expected in your mind

You search and no longer find

Me there……….

Here

Look at the photo stare

But you’re a coward

You wouldn’t dare

Take the chance

Trying to steal another glance

Into what do you look each day?

Do you ever pray?

Your alter’s sacrifice needs another offering

Perhaps next time think twice

Before you roll the dice

Stealing away thoughts

Just images is all that is left of me

I am a still shot in your mind

You look through your window

Two windows you see

But you can no longer see me

Only a thought

No longer sold

Can not be bought

Thought~

Not For Reproduction~


~No Reprieve~

There is no reprieve
No procrastination

No forgiveness

Not here
You pay

Everyday

No reprieve

No holding back

No return
There is no reprieve

No understanding

Ignorance

Lack of tolerance

Pain is the fuel

In devils delight

No reprieve

No sabitacal

No leave

What does one think

Drinking the poison

In the mind

So many like this

So many my kind

Keep in step

Forget the time

Remember…..
You pay

Every day

And beauty

And death

Have their way

~Kismets Dance~Lovers Eternal Dance Part 2~

Will not be denied
Ignored, nor exploited~

Represent with respect
Keep your intentions in check~

Takng caution as not walk the same path~ I expect this time love Will last~

Quiet the mind~
Hoping to find~
Someone kind~

Refuge is obscure but can be found
both up above as well as the ground~

Learning to be quiet is to not make a sound~
To hide away~
Never be found~

You unravel me, trying to coerce my heart, Beckoning me to play the part
Your style and finesse is likened unto art~

But you need to be informed that I can not be bought~Traded or bartered, I’m your plant that needs to be watered.~

I will not sell out, nor walk in fear
The fruition of what is us is now drawing near~

An eclipse of circumstance
Longing closure Kismets dance~

This dance is not quick, oh no it Will stick, Around dancing and swaying to our cosmic sound.. Orbiting, Resonating

More than chance to finally dance
Indeed it’s time to dance my love
To dance~

So no more hiding away come out of dark corners and with me stay~

I’m finding it hard to live each day
I’ve walked hell and high water wouldn’t you say?

Silently pray~
For you~
For us~
For them~

Indeed we must share
longing and separation
Causes despair~

Nonetheless together we’re an unbeatable pair~

Demi Gods among mortals
Desiring our skill~ only time Will tell Wouldn’t you say, or is it merely skill that Will flow with love never wanting to kill~
They long for a moment to Experience our thrill~

Always more than by chance to meet Yet again to fulfill Kismets Dance~

Let’s Dance
I’ll put on my red shoes as Bowie would say~
You put on your suit and tie
Then dance this dance until we both die…
Still never saying goodbye. Eternally~

Not for reproduction~

20140804-225211-82331393.jpg

Updated~Two Week Notice~yeah already~—

Dear God up above I can still feel your love…. but I’m sorry to say I must leave go away~ you called me a light worker, I can only do so much never ever figured out what is the human touch.

You blessed me with human a beautiful baby boy. I’m entrusting you to him, he is a child and yet my sin~when I try to write my book I don’t even know where to begin my life was fast like a whirlwind…and pieces scattered about and within

It’s all like a puzzle that was left in a closet hidden away, no one notice nor knew what to say

Laying by the devils side it isn’t hard to decide, he is the God of this world I now see, and I figured out the exit for me…. for any who look and choose to see, my mission complete~

So just give two weeks notice and keep the memories they serve no purpose when I’m gone. My words will live on and on. I planted seeds along the way, somehow though was led astray. So here I am Lord here I lay so I request an early judgement day.

I would do the same for my son, I would love him no matter what he may have done.

I ask in return you bless his life free of worry grief strife…. to live to laugh to love to know I can still see him from far above.

I laid by the devils side for over half my life it caused me to much pain to much strife and as a human being I’m sick of this life… I quit. Well I’m giving my two week notice as any good employee of a universal truth I must say I did enjoy my youth….. sometimes…. it reminded me I wasn’t meant for here, I was wild free and truly fierce scared of NOTHING!!!! Not even death. I couldn’t wait to take a last breath… but I endured and at times I laughed

But often rejected due to class, stereotypes, and bullshit in general full circle around but this time my Lord I leave this playground~ two weeks notice not to long to go and when I get where I’m Going please don’t say “I told you so” see ya soon!

Probably by noon

~If You Wore my Shoes to Anyone who Caused harm to me or my Son~

My shoes carry me through the world

I see you lost grasping for air sucking up my space

You feed upon yourself remaining transfixed upon the life spent feeding the masses dreams denying yourself all the while in the spotlight and you should walk in my shoes

The road ahead it’s a curve with a caution light flashing My shoes are worn but…………….

There is rest area ahead but I’m not tired

These shoes allow me to get to my destination, these shoes know the way, there on my feet and that’s where they’ll stay

I’m the lioness pacing fiercely beyond your shallow walls, and one sided dreams

Razor sharp precision is scarce compared to the cutting claws that scrape away all your defenses

As evil as bat in a dark cave when cornered, the demon that lives tucked in the back of your mind

The cold breeze that sends chills up your spine

The leopard on high alert in a dare like stance protecting her cubs

The stillness you’ve yet to experience, the turmoil that you long to touch

The angelic comfort sought in times of trouble, yielding strength that you are deprived of

The voice that will never stop speaking, the one whose words will live on long after I’m gone

The torn soul pieces strewn about. With the ability to sustain peace within any storm

The threads, the shriveled up shredded threads that somehow work, and hold the fabrics of my life

I rise like a phoenix and…….

Gracefully Will I pass you by, peacefully I’ll look into your eye and you will then know you’ve stood in my shoes~

~Bipolar,The Unique Truth about the illness and my theories~

First I urge you the reader to watch a movie called “Touched by Fire” with Katie Holmes… the depiction of the two characters bring this post together. They are two bipolar individuals that’s all I will say. Watch it.

Bipolar the unique truth
Truth is there are many bipolar people with a unique gifts of art, it springs forth from our well to bring to life what we hope others will get, will understand.
I write poetry through my heart

My veins, my brain. Some other bipolar people paint, some sing, some Dance, some sculpt, and others like me, the countless thousands that write.
I consider myself a warrior fighting a cause trying to educate and break mental health stigma I also bring my demons out to display for all to see. That’s pretty ugly and unique. Hang it all out, air the bullshit I fester in at times, don’t we all?
Here is the thing, even warriors get weary and tired, and at times may even feel defeated.
I feel this as I write it, however by days end I’ll feel completely opposite I will feel empowered.
You may be a bipolar person, however every one of us is so unique so very unique.

I have been told all my

Life I have a switch, like a light switch that goes off if I’m done such as with let’s say …chemical addiction I am addicted for awhile to some drugs as an example. Cocaine, ecstasy, acid that kind of stuff I did at various times of my life, only to put it down. Still down over 15 years or more to this point and I pray it will always stick, it has thus far.
Now Mary Jane is like a best friend that I can hug goodbye, then check up on Mary Jane and alas, we have a long visit. Then I hug her again. Only to keep visiting.
Longest I ever told Mary Jane see you later I didn’t see her for 5 years….. that’s along time.
I’m similar with cigarettes but I have never been a real lifer for cigarettes.
I pick those up during stressful times. Like a switch I turn it back off till it illuminates again and the switch is turned on….. hey maybe it’s a glitch…

Today is the full moon. The moon affects bipolar people.
Say what you will, the cosmic energy changes the ebb and the flow of the ocean and pulls stronger because we are closer to our moon. If it affects a huge ocean then I view it as ……how much more can it affect us little humans. I mean come on it’s pulling an ocean sitting by us you think it don’t affect us, Ha. Ok.
Anyway these are my theories. Adopt them as your own if it rings true. Examine it if it doesn’t.
For some the full moon energizes their soul, others melancholia, others deep depression.
It is a shackle. I have theories about mental illness for a very long time. We live in a multidimensional world.
I often wondered if the mentally ill are tapping into the other dimensions the ones that others can’t hear, see, or feel.

I have others who have witnessed phenomena in me with regard to two things, first I seem to affect electrical currents in my area around me lights and such . Second the ability to tell you about something important that is gonna happen if you’re close to me.

This has been witnessed and many can tell you, yep she does.
This only started again, notice I said again, yes again after 3 years. See I was away around lies and deceit for the duration of my marriages, I listened and bought into the lies …. then I broke free after my divorce…for the last three years of my life, I stopped listening to lies, I’m in what I call a spiritual cleanse zone.
I can do things others can’t or maybe they can I haven’t met them yet, do you have phenomena too? just like I have , are you bipolar and have a phenomenon like myself which only adds to what I feel is extremely unique.
I had gifts when I was younger and not tainted by this world nor afflicted with atrocious disease of the mind. I prayed and meditated for hours in nature back then. My gifts at its apex. But years of hearing and buying into those lies affected my gifts. We all have some kinda strange gift if you tap into it.
Removing yourself from all lies or to recognize lies(spirit bares witness to others) the lies others speak you will and can know. But how do you know if they are lying?
For me It’s a silent “I know”.A feeling a sensation I pick up on.
Sometimes it’s just a quick whispers brief then gone.
This is me. This is how I am navigating my outer worldly experience. The queue’s I receive.
I don’t dabble in dark arts. My mother did. She was sought after on the bayous of Louisiana. People come from all over the bayou to see her. To hear what she had to say.
She then had a change of heart made me burn all my albums( so long ago lol albums) all my records.
I couldn’t wear pants anymore and I got to go to 6 th grade at a weird school from the church she joined. It was Like a mixture of Assembly of God or Pentecostal type of practice.
Yet I survived my crazy ass formidable young years as best I could, well that was until I revolted and got married at 14.
I was rebellious, against the grain. I think that was a charismatic draw when I was younger I had a few select friends.
Wherever we went, when we arrived the party started and most flocked to me it flowed… it was a powerful feeling.
So see yours may be different it’s why I have given you a quick narrative of my life.
So how are the meds going? Well? What was your cost? Mine was feelings, eyesight, weight, rapid weight gain. A few more add on’s.
My meds are Lamictal, Serquel, Clonopin. Not to mention pain meds for another condition.
Cool fact I’ve only had three cavities. My mom was big about brushing my damn teeth.
Hey! I have a bright smile. That is if I’m not in one of the many moods that flow through me every hour. Yes every hour.
See another difference. My Mind is in a variation or some would say rapid cycle.
Yours may be still, constant depressed, or you could be in a full blown manic episode.
In order to make any stride In Breaking stigma we must begin to be honest with ourselves.
We walk blindly sometimes through a day our thoughts jumbled.
But are we living our truth, bearing the scars and being open about your unique illness and the unique art it invokes in you.
Can we all feel empowered always, the answer is No. however we can strive, press onward.
For us our creativity and our illness make us so unique, so let your colors out and color outside the lines.
Don’t be afraid, we all have at one time or another. However, this is coming from someone who has had a rough ride getting to this place of complete honesty.
A place to tell my story without fear. Worry about nothing, care about most things, leave the rest behind. That’s my quote…
Thanks for stopping in and reading my post.
Have a beautiful day and watch out for our full moon tonight!