~Rocks in my Mailbox~

And if I planned my exit, like long ago, would you leave rocks in my mailbox after midnight, While I take refuge in the safety of my room?

And would you weep? Would tears fall? Upon that grand exit.. Upon the great fall. Rocks in the mailbox after midnight is all….

I held your hand .. You extended it back. I wept at my stupidity you watched with curiosity. “What should I do?” That’s what I asked you.

Tapping your finger against your chin… “Hmmm”…was your response… “Lets see” and you looked down from my bed and stared blankly at me.

In the distance we heard the door close.. Our eyes they did meet, as we listened to heavy footsteps of the monster with whom I did sleep.

As accusation were spewed out the mouth of this man. And in my mind i can hear my heart cry….I don’t think I can take no more, I don’t think that I can. Not here, not with this man.

But he wouldn’t shut up, bulging eyes did he have… Looking like someone stark raving mad. But you kindly got up and followed him out…. Down those stairs to the floor down below, to fill your head with thoughts yet to know.

I stayed there in silence on the floor of my room. For he would not let me rest, no rest.. Antagonizing me.. Curses. Several hours later you left.
Sadly You left.

But come night…yes at midnight you see you gathered a rock maybe two maybe three. Must have been midnight. I could sense you. Yes I could feel you….

And I wonder as I sit here, sit here year after year.. If I found that exit I so often seek, I’ll leave no one here for my voice to speak. Will you find out? And when you do, will you weep ? Will my face haunt you in your sleep? And will rocks be left in the mailbox after midnight for the memory you will keep…even my door step….lay by my feet…or would you beg instead because my words ring in your head all those things you never ever said…..

……And would you weep? Would tears fall? Upon that grand exit.. Upon the great fall. Rocks in the mailbox after midnight is all….

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  ~Walking Away~With My Weirdness intact~

I’m weird

I’m not of this world  🌎

The ether

I’m ethereal

I have lost

To much

The touch

The energy

The love

The essence

The Friends ……as I walked away

I lost it all

Had bills to pay

I lost my son, he is not the boy he was

And now it would seem I must accept I have lost a love I’ll never understand ……. boy to man~

So remember me and I’ll remember you….. yes I know I bit off more than I can chew

I lost the will to continue on

So I’m walking away it’s time to move on

You and I both know

You broke me

Still yet I am here

I’m gonna walk away now gotta learn somehow

You know I know you are with him

Hard headed always was

I’ll see you again in this I’m sure

Remember from this point my intentions pure

But I’m waving goodbye to you
I’m walking away now in this I know

I have to go

Walking away

Catch you on another day, time, place, or another life

These wounds cut like a knife

Looking back once more

Wish you would talk to me once Again, before I close the exit door

As…………………….. I’m

……….walking away~

How can you respond to someone who is acting bipolar to help them get out of their episode? I don’t even know what to call episode. Basically where they are abusive, negative and angry all the time.

First of all how do you even know for sure that it is bipolar?

Everyone has different realities and perceptions.

The anger well did you let this person down in any way?

See anger comes from being let down. I know. When someone wrongs me I get very angry. I can rip them to threads if need be.

So there is no answer to this question that would constitute a useful suggestion.

If you don’t know what to call it?

Because there is nothing to call perhaps you may need to talk with someone yourself about this troubling situation.

I can tell you therapy and a support system with friend helps a bunch.

But yeah…..if you feel this strongly and don’t know what to call it I advise you to get Therapy as well. Good luck God bless

~Beautifully Unfinished~

Know that I shall not hang on

So why can’t I let go?

In my dreams when I’m with you

Somehow I forget to breath

You got me like a rag doll

Now I’m dancing on your string

And I keep trying

To figure out

Who you are to me

Maybe all that

We were meant to be

Is beautifully unfinished

Cause your’re the one

I can’t lose

You’re  the one

That I can’t win

Maybe all that we were meant to be was beautifully unfinished

~Inspiration~

My inspiration my muse

You are the rain tapping

On the tin roof

As thunder rolls above

The sheer silence

Your soft whisper

The sun glistening upon leaves

Peaking through clouds

The way he looked at me

The way he touches

His smell

Those eyes

The way the child smiled at me

The book I have read

Thoughts left unsaid

Books still on a shelf

The passion once felt

The love I have

The pain I endured

The doves cooing

The birds chirping

The wind that blew by

The beautiful blue sky

The perfect storm

Lightening strikes

The lyrics to a song

Played in my mind all life long

Life how it sometimes goes wrong

The crush I may have

Conversations that have ended awkwardly

Trees and their amazing strength

Their roots

The touch of a friend who taps your shoulder

The fact that we are all getting older

The smell of rain

The touch of my pets fur

The painting at the museum

The words beautiful explanations

Brought to life

The questions

The oceans

The rivers & Lakes

All Gods creatures

Including the snake

Inspiration is all around

Even your feet on the ground

Sand between my toes

The skip in my jump

Fire & ice

How to entice

Elements and beauty all around

That’s where my inspiration is found~