Loneliness~

Loneliness

A feeling so singular

A despair that numbs

No one around you

No where for them to come

Much less would you run if they did

Who can you trust

In this life you have to have one

At least they say it’s a must

Don’t believe them

There is……

A home that is lost

Friends walk away

Seems in this life

Nothing will stay

Alone

In silence

Able to just think

To sink

Downward

Into the pits of ominous clouds

Thoughts of a past screams out loud

People who loved you

Lied

None kept

All I can feel

Is completely inept

A fear that grips

A suffering so real

That all you have left

Is no way to feel

But alone~

~Knowing Pain~NJM~no need to change~

Emotional harm, Physical waste

Uneasy feeling bitter taste

Fastidious fear cry your last tear

Instigate Trifling

Presence so stifling

Negligent actions

Daunting infractions

Militant persuasion

Every occasion

Breeding your strife

Sucking up the last bit of my life

Mangled, tangled, fingers strangled

Inadequate hope

You hang from a rope

Your pain

It remains

Its all the same

It hurts this scar

Covering the body

Clenching grip

Obscene utterance on tongues tip

All will come to know

Pain…….

Is it Friend or Foe?

Relief or Thief

Or just belief~

“Overcoming the Overwhelming “ Can it be done?

Can you overcome being overwhelmed. furthermore…. can it be achieved for extended periods of time?perhaps always attainable? In my experience often times the only way to overcome the feeling of being overwhelmed has been to medicate. Right now instead I’m choosing to sit on the dock by the lake listening to the tide.But what is it that helps us feel more relaxed feel less stress have a sense of purpose that everything is OK? Where is the first place that you look? And when you look what is it that you find? And exactly where is it that you’re looking? Is it to God? Is it in a book? Can you find it in another person? Or is it always gonna have to be that pill?

See not only the mentally ill get overwhelmed sadly enough most of society is medicated……As it is most of society is definitely overwhelmed. Can we truly ever live in a state of peace honestly? And if we achieve it how long does it last? Suppose that’s the question that begs the answer. Can one overcome feeling overwhelmed? If you find the answer please contact me I’m dying to find out……literally

~Truth Behind Secrets~

In my experience It would seem everyone that I’ve come across has some type of secret, someone tells another something in confidence and therefore it becomes a pact or deal of some type between the two and they call that a secret or at least my own personal definition, however we also have our own secrets the ones we never tell anyone about…..the ones we keep hidden dark and deep and inside of us. There is a purpose why some of us keep secrets to ourselves but why….. why do we keep some things hidden from everyone?

The purpose secrets serve is it provides a type of refuge maybe protection and self preservation. Oh screw it let’s google some info. Here is what the definition of a secret is = Definition of secret::something kept hidden or unexplained : mystery. b : something kept from the knowledge of others or shared only confidentially with a few. c : a method, formula, or process used in an art or operation and divulged only to those of one’s own company or craft : trade secret.

Hey I like that definition it’s pretty broad when looked at that way. The secret I’m talking about is the one you’ve told no one else about. What is it your dirty hidden pleasures or your sad wounded childhood? Did a neighbor,aunt, uncle or older cousin or any other person sexually abuse you? it made you feel ashamed dirty in fact perhaps…. I know, I’ve been there….and there are many ways to be violated and I understand why you sometimes never tell no one. You keep little bits and pieces. What are the things we hold secret only to ourselves? Is it the scenarios mentioned above? Is it like your stealing telling no one else, having an affair on your partner? Who doesn’t know? Do you stalk someone who fascinates you? How far will you go to keep your secrets secret? That also begs an answer.

first protection of some sort is needed to keep secrets secrets, the lengths one will go to too keep things quiet, well let’s just say some are extreme…..the question I ask next is what are the methods used to keep said secrets? Even as I write this I can’t even tell you the reader of the few secrets hidden I have and usually I’m an open book. One thing is for sure it’s my secrets and I don’t ever tell secrets it’s why they are secrets . The funny thing…. I don’t give it second thought keeping things to myself. It’s very easy….. used to be so hard when I was younger. Somethings are best left hidden and unspoken. But how do you decide which you confide in and those you keep to yourself….yes this is a decision and also a choice what do you know, how bout that you get both…. to either continue in secrecy or confide in another person your best friend if you have one… that is loyal and trust worthy and would do for you as you would for them. Perhaps. But deep inside my gut as I write this the chance that you have hidden information about yourself that no one else knows is staggering because truthfully we all have at least one thing we want to hide and that is the secret about secrets….oh and secrets aren’t good for your health either, but hey we all must die of something, so now ssshhh don’t tell anyone what we now know or may have already known. It’s our Secret.

Sent from my iPhone

~Hades Gate~Legends~

Chattering heard whispers distance

Laden thoughts loudly waken

Inner peace completely shaken

grandeur spectacle,grace abound

Wings spread outward a glorious sound

Heaven bound! heaven bound !

But darkness creeps,the hell found

Majestically tathered whilst in flight

Eyes fixed dilated penetrating sight

Your face appears

A subtle grin

scales of justice

Weighs right in

Extending hands seal this fate

Reaching out past hades gate

Mere mortals shutter with defeat

While broken limb doth demons eat

Wishful fate Grasping hold I reach

But you slipped away

Your spirit yielded

I could not look

Your heart was empty

The hour glass shook

Cracked upon the floor

Sand spilling out

My fervent screams

into a mystical shout

Am I your angel?

Am I your demon?

Exalted I flex my wings

Fascinating melody will I sing

Searching for you

Bring you back

Hold you close

As thunder claps

Breath new life, I’ll quicken you

Perplex your mind

While I search onward

For my own kind

NJM~

Not for Reproduction~

~Accounability Collector~

In bowels of deceit you were born

Silence prevails

As dynamics fluctuate

Blood runs through

Veins yet…. no heart

A strange life

Life not meant for here

Life force with out life

Without love

Abandoned me, it’s ‘s what you do~

My voice will haunt you because I loved you~

Out the window stare

Trees leaves glistening

Sunlight dances upon them

Love has forsaken me

But Angels prevail

Breathing and whispering

Weeping for my numb

Unresponsiveness

Trying to ignite my flame of life

To save me all the strife

To late

The flames falls….. falling over

The precipice….in my heart has a steep drop

Flames burn out as they fall downward into the body, the shell of who I was

I am no longer

My life half there

Half gone

Timing, Destiny

Can kiss my ass

I’ll chose when or if

I decide to leave or stay

Best get on knees

Best pray

Memories don’t dissipate

Scathing scars

Blood runs

Slowly seeping

Out

What have you done

You fool

Foolish games

Stop

Because! …love no more

John Keats” there is no happy love

More happy happy love”

Please…
Nazareth” Love hurts

Love scars

Love wounds and marks

Any heart not tough or strong enough

To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain

Love is like a cloud, it holds a lot of rain

Love hurts”
You had the the truth in the lyrics

Music can express

Art can express

But you’ll never again have Enough to impress

What does it take?

What it takes you don’t have,or was it Me, I didn’t …..all so complicated you see~
The accountability collector called, said its time to pay your bill it’s long past due~

~The Art of Being Sorry in 4 Simple Steps~

The art of sorry in 4 easy steps…….

For the majority of us being sorry is something we often feel when we do something wrong. We often forget is that when we truly are sorry and we apologize to the other person with whom we done wrong too we open ourselves up for hurt.

Feeling regret or remorse or sorry is an emotion that humans feel after doing something against their lack of better judgment or against their values or morals…..basically in any circumstances that they should’ve acted differently in.

Previously I stated you open yourself up for hurt when you truly are sorry, you then proceed to tell the person with whom you have wronged that hey “I’m sorry truly sorry”

What happens when you are sorry 1. You say it and 2. Mean it and 3. Leave yourself open to the persons response there are no “but’s” or “Could’s” or “Should’s” or Would’s” 4. There is but one single statement” I am sorry” that is all that should come out of your mouth. Next you should prepare yourself to receive whatever the other person Has to say in response to your contriteness silently listening without excuses.

Lately it appears or so it seems that the majority of relationships that I engage in are all one sided. This makes for a lonely existence. Unfortunately however alone it may feel I am learning that it is necessary to limit those around you who continuously make excuses or are master manipulators at trying to always turn everything into their “reasons for” never truly being sorry , only wanting to explain why they did what they did… see that is not sorry, Or at least where I come from that’s not what I was taught.

So to recap…..don’t ever say that you were sorry unless it is the only three words that you were going to say to the person you wronged,there is no excuse for whatever you’re sorry for that’s why it’s called being sorry….So there it is 4 simple steps to the Art of truly being sorry.