(Excerpt of My Novel) ~Chapter 1~1017 Cypress Street~Based on actual events~Edited~

She felt her life was always a puzzle piece and the puzzle couldn’t completely be found. Personal wars and scars she endured from early childhood.Her life never yielded a dull moment. The sense of the bottom dropping out always lived in the back of her mind, but she pressed on and tried to control the feeling that haunted her.

She was excited at the thought of her new home, although it was an older home she would carve it out and make a home for her and her family. The pool was a big selling point, she loved to swim, was always drawn to water. Calmed the storm that seemed to always be slightly to the left of her thoughts, tucked away.
The moment she walked through the front door the house seemed to welcome her, feed on her energy… It was as though the two would be as one. Never did she think about departure……..her having to leave this home,after all she was going to buy it.

Now the house sits quietly never keeping anyone there long. It was her house, but he made her leave.

Parts of her loss haunts the halls of that house… It will forever cry for her return. Forever warning her of the evil intent that lurks across the street.

Years have gone by but for her it feels like yesterday, with the blink of her eye and a deep breath she is back there, a part of her is back there back at the house.

As her eyes remain closed she remembers how it felt ….Jumping effortlessly into the beautiful pool late at night her body completely covered only by the water. Right across the street he watched her,captivated. Intrigued.

Quickly as though a jolt of energy sent shock waves through her body, her eyes blink open to her present reality one that’s never been the same since that house since she met him.
She didn’t have a clue that her life was building up to that moment, a moment that could kill the very essesnse of all the good she had in her, change her forever leaving her a shell of the women she once was.

~Tongues’ of Fire~

The power of love A force from above

Cleaning my soul

Flame on burn desire

Love with tongues of fire

Purge the soul

Make love our goal

The power of love

We walked the isle

Prisms of light

Angelic smile

A King

A Queen

Long ago

Exist

Once below

Now above

A sky-scraping dove

Incarnated in flight

A fleet of kneeling knight

I’ve searched the castle

Looking for you

There……

Flame on, burn desire

Love With tonges of

fire

Come to Me

Prism of light

Ceilings of gold

History of us always be told

Come to me my sweetest friend

Can you feel my heart again

I’ll take you back where you belong

And this will be our favorite song

Prisms of light

Coronations plight

I put up no fight

Two lands join as one

Our life had just begun

Ceilings so high

I feel you draw nigh

From beyond long ago

I’m always stepping fast

You’re never far behind

This heavenly past

How this cosmic dance Devine

Can make time so unkind

Come to me with secrets bare

I love you more so don’t be scared

And when we’re old and near the end

Well go home and start again

With the power of love

A force from above

Crowns of gold

Our story so old

Lifetimes come each century

Can it capture yet again what was you & me
Flames of desire

Love with Tongues set a fire

Come near to me my love

Purge our soul

Make love our goal

The power of love sets

Eternally my love

Each lifetime fades it fast

Make our love of long last

Purge each lifetimes soul Make love our goal

Flames of desire

Set tongues of fire

Come to me best friend

Come sing our song again

May we never end

Lifetimes reign

one day again lay claim

Long may we Reign

Passionate desire

Set tongues of fire

Eternal flame

Loves other name

Play the chess game

Checkmate Sire

Flame on burn desire

Love with tongues of fire~

Not for Reproduction 

~NJM~

NJM~Personal Quotes~

Sometimes festering in your own shit,covered inherently in your ignorant deceit may you look in the mirror & realize it’s time to come clean~

~Bipolar,The Unique Truth about the illness and my theories~

First I urge you the reader to watch a movie called “Touched by Fire” with Katie Holmes… the depiction of the two characters bring this post together. They are two bipolar individuals that’s all I will say. Watch it.

Bipolar the unique truth
Truth is there are many bipolar people with a unique gifts of art, it springs forth from our well to bring to life what we hope others will get, will understand.
I write poetry through my heart

My veins, my brain. Some other bipolar people paint, some sing, some Dance, some sculpt, and others like me, the countless thousands that write.
I consider myself a warrior fighting a cause trying to educate and break mental health stigma I also bring my demons out to display for all to see. That’s pretty ugly and unique. Hang it all out, air the bullshit I fester in at times, don’t we all?
Here is the thing, even warriors get weary and tired, and at times may even feel defeated.
I feel this as I write it, however by days end I’ll feel completely opposite I will feel empowered.
You may be a bipolar person, however every one of us is so unique so very unique.

I have been told all my

Life I have a switch, like a light switch that goes off if I’m done such as with let’s say …chemical addiction I am addicted for awhile to some drugs as an example. Cocaine, ecstasy, acid that kind of stuff I did at various times of my life, only to put it down. Still down over 15 years or more to this point and I pray it will always stick, it has thus far.
Now Mary Jane is like a best friend that I can hug goodbye, then check up on Mary Jane and alas, we have a long visit. Then I hug her again. Only to keep visiting.
Longest I ever told Mary Jane see you later I didn’t see her for 5 years….. that’s along time.
I’m similar with cigarettes but I have never been a real lifer for cigarettes.
I pick those up during stressful times. Like a switch I turn it back off till it illuminates again and the switch is turned on….. hey maybe it’s a glitch…

Today is the full moon. The moon affects bipolar people.
Say what you will, the cosmic energy changes the ebb and the flow of the ocean and pulls stronger because we are closer to our moon. If it affects a huge ocean then I view it as ……how much more can it affect us little humans. I mean come on it’s pulling an ocean sitting by us you think it don’t affect us, Ha. Ok.
Anyway these are my theories. Adopt them as your own if it rings true. Examine it if it doesn’t.
For some the full moon energizes their soul, others melancholia, others deep depression.
It is a shackle. I have theories about mental illness for a very long time. We live in a multidimensional world.
I often wondered if the mentally ill are tapping into the other dimensions the ones that others can’t hear, see, or feel.

I have others who have witnessed phenomena in me with regard to two things, first I seem to affect electrical currents in my area around me lights and such . Second the ability to tell you about something important that is gonna happen if you’re close to me.

This has been witnessed and many can tell you, yep she does.
This only started again, notice I said again, yes again after 3 years. See I was away around lies and deceit for the duration of my marriages, I listened and bought into the lies …. then I broke free after my divorce…for the last three years of my life, I stopped listening to lies, I’m in what I call a spiritual cleanse zone.
I can do things others can’t or maybe they can I haven’t met them yet, do you have phenomena too? just like I have , are you bipolar and have a phenomenon like myself which only adds to what I feel is extremely unique.
I had gifts when I was younger and not tainted by this world nor afflicted with atrocious disease of the mind. I prayed and meditated for hours in nature back then. My gifts at its apex. But years of hearing and buying into those lies affected my gifts. We all have some kinda strange gift if you tap into it.
Removing yourself from all lies or to recognize lies(spirit bares witness to others) the lies others speak you will and can know. But how do you know if they are lying?
For me It’s a silent “I know”.A feeling a sensation I pick up on.
Sometimes it’s just a quick whispers brief then gone.
This is me. This is how I am navigating my outer worldly experience. The queue’s I receive.
I don’t dabble in dark arts. My mother did. She was sought after on the bayous of Louisiana. People come from all over the bayou to see her. To hear what she had to say.
She then had a change of heart made me burn all my albums( so long ago lol albums) all my records.
I couldn’t wear pants anymore and I got to go to 6 th grade at a weird school from the church she joined. It was Like a mixture of Assembly of God or Pentecostal type of practice.
Yet I survived my crazy ass formidable young years as best I could, well that was until I revolted and got married at 14.
I was rebellious, against the grain. I think that was a charismatic draw when I was younger I had a few select friends.
Wherever we went, when we arrived the party started and most flocked to me it flowed… it was a powerful feeling.
So see yours may be different it’s why I have given you a quick narrative of my life.
So how are the meds going? Well? What was your cost? Mine was feelings, eyesight, weight, rapid weight gain. A few more add on’s.
My meds are Lamictal, Serquel, Clonopin. Not to mention pain meds for another condition.
Cool fact I’ve only had three cavities. My mom was big about brushing my damn teeth.
Hey! I have a bright smile. That is if I’m not in one of the many moods that flow through me every hour. Yes every hour.
See another difference. My Mind is in a variation or some would say rapid cycle.
Yours may be still, constant depressed, or you could be in a full blown manic episode.
In order to make any stride In Breaking stigma we must begin to be honest with ourselves.
We walk blindly sometimes through a day our thoughts jumbled.
But are we living our truth, bearing the scars and being open about your unique illness and the unique art it invokes in you.
Can we all feel empowered always, the answer is No. however we can strive, press onward.
For us our creativity and our illness make us so unique, so let your colors out and color outside the lines.
Don’t be afraid, we all have at one time or another. However, this is coming from someone who has had a rough ride getting to this place of complete honesty.
A place to tell my story without fear. Worry about nothing, care about most things, leave the rest behind. That’s my quote…
Thanks for stopping in and reading my post.
Have a beautiful day and watch out for our full moon tonight!

~NJM~ Quotes~

Your life is not yours, it is a series of events you walk through blindly.Deceiving yourself thinking your eyes were open~that’s truth~NJM~

~Going Live today from 12-1 East Coast time~If you Missed it~ Archives! Updates I put wrong Link to find Archives~

Less than 1 hour I will be on ~Moments of Clarity~ with Tiffany Werhner. Tune in via web from anywhere http://www.tantalk1340.com/

Engage call in with comments, questions! I’ll be promoting my work and up coming books.

So follows please listen and call I would love to get feedback from my follows.

Call 866-826-1340

12-1 today east coast time

If you missed it you can listen to archives of all Tiffanys show ~Moments of Clarity~  at

http://www.internetradiopros.com/momentsofclarity/
Scroll down and you will see the show and the guest names.

See you there my loyal follows call in!!

~The Past~

I pull away. You’ve hurt me. There is nothing that will ever heal it completely.

My soul is dim, all due to him… You.

But all in all I love you too.

Love doesn’t live in digits it surpasses age, transcends boundaries . Number are numbers. Pick one.

That simple~Always.~

Ttys.

I will begin to draft all popular post and roll only the post I feel need to begin to be heard~ Thank you.

I will take my popular work and drafted it not be seen and run only the 1017 cypress excerpts, retribution, premise of my book, mostly DONNELL KERR POST… the bishop post my Momma’s post if I don’t see more support on these. It’s dear to my heart you read them, like them understand them, the pain in them and rejection in them. I follow you because I value you and your words. I like them. I need these to take prevalence. Thank you ahead of time for understaning . I mean these are serious post NO ONE should have to endure. Where is the empathy???where is the love from all you who follow me? These post hit home and have a story that is the catalyst that provoked my illness. Sure indeed these are the things that also inspire the writing you do love. It hurts that they’re just overlooked !

The post that roll after this are the ones I seek support and to educate all that read them. There are Also some really old post too from 2014, Thank you for your empathy understaning and support.

~ Undeniable~

Disappearing into your gravity can’t help it,

Spinning awkwardly

You raddled my mind 

shaking my existence to the core

Yet in the place I am, I desire more

More than the justice lacking

The people slacking

Cyber hacking

Only a bleak

Shell of someone

Something

Happening

Hanging by a thread

Still Attached to the needle

Somehow the thread won’t sever won’t let go

Yet the needle will not yield

There is no shield to protect me

Look around what do you see

I feel I’ve fallen to the ground

Your voice bleak so low in the background

I am still here still in tact 

Yet Am I a useful artifact

I love, I feel,  I have been healed

Or so it seems

Perhaps this all

Was just a dream

One I can never awake 

Maybe it is me my heart is yours to take~

~The Art of Giving and Receiving~NJM~

It’s very simple you see……. You give me what I want, I’ll give you what you want, and we can be happy. Otherwise you Will never have me again never~Chose don’t ride the fence, otherwise piss off~

Biggest problem you have now is figuring out what I want. See my wants have changed. Do I want you to just be my friend? Do I just want  you to represent and acknowledge knowing that you met your match? Or do I want you as mine? Perhaps I want you to stop creeping all over  the net in disguise as usual and bugger off for good. You’re uber smart or at least you were, times change…..figure it out, I think you’re starting to.~NJM~

生病的都是你造成的伤害的痛苦修好了 !最大的方法就是去永远离去 !