~Do You Believe? Have Faith~

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I will not deny the existence of God
Nor will I accept the contention of men who seek to otherwise disprove the premise of my belief.

For it is the mystery of such that only faith will sustain the notions of God and faith. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. Hebrew 11:1”

But I see the obvious flaws within the doctrine. The blatant disregard to use logic and reason. And quite personally when it’s all said and done, it’s only you, you have to convince you. For all the contrary statements and text, it’s just plain and simple, believe as you want. But remember are we not contrary in our very existence being a human? And therein lies the flaw, and furthermore the perfection. The uniqueness.. Divine and sometimes cursed.

To be brief, no one should try to convince anyone. Be as you believe, and nothing less or more. In doing so your actions reveal your intent/belief/existence.
Let not your actions lack the very conviction of your words. Far far to many are quick to speak but are of null effect when carrying out said convictions.

Be an Example, pray others follow.

Try the agreements if nothing else has spoken to you spiritually. The four agreements.

These may not be in the correct order as I am going by memory alone.

  1. Try to do your best always.{your best may change from day to day just as circumstances do}
  2. Don’t assume. We all do, try not to……I have a hard time on this one.
  3. Be Immpeccable with your word. {basically don’t lie}
  4. Try not to take nothing personally. Very hard to achieve.

Try this. See if it gets you were you are trying to go. Good luck. God Speed. ~NJM~

Oh yeah have faith!

 

~Please Read if Bipolar and comment if you feel this way, Please~

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Am I a poetic tragedy in living form Fumbling around this earth

I’d rather be dead than be a cliche or martyr

Self deprecating is getting worn thin

Problem no courage no action taken

To exit

But instead I live on a roller coaster 

For all the faith and love in the world can’t console me

Yet I know love exist for some 

Enough to sustain

God watches me

But intervention upon Gods part

Is tricky and random

Consistency is needed

Daily lacking

Am I alone?

Isolated by illness

Lacking the love necessary 

I’m sorry I’d just rather die~

~In Remembrance of 911~  

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~In Remembrance of 911~  And my own personal 911  courtesy notreeldudes~Blink 182~Seasons In The Sun~http://youtu.be/QJUj5F38wlc

~In A Gadda Da Vida~ Iron Butterfly~

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My I Tune’s. The title means Garden of Eden~

In case that Link don’t work try this one~

Enjoy…. Someone once said they thought of me when they heard this song~

~Living With Bipolar 1~NJM~ The Maze~

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I am the lab rat. I am in a maze. There is no way to ever solve the maze as of yet.I can move from front to back, left to right, but the outcome is always gonna be the same redundant cycle.

I’ll never exit the maze. There are beautiful parts in the maze, scary parts, agitated parts, renovated parts, crazy parts, serine parts, but all those areas have no exit out.
Every person experiences the illness a bit different.

Treatment of the disorder is a must in order to live productively
It’s been bittersweet. I have been through many stages of the illness and 4 manic attack each triggered by extreme stress.
I also picked myself up and learned to live through my divorce and custody struggle.
I don’t trust many people but I do not isolate myself as I once did as I used to.
I have a part time job that deals with the public.
It’s like a roller coaster ride. Or surfing. You roll with the tides, and learn each time.
It’s pride I actually feel now, but must stay humble. I advocate for the stigma of bipolar to diminishes and begin to accept and love what has been mistunderstood for far to long. We have tackled openly everything except mental illness. Many people have some type of mental illness.
I’ll tell you this, through prayer and creativity, God, and my beautiful Son, I like me.

I’m ok with me.
Bottom line it’s not bad at this point of my life.
Thank God~

~The difference between Bipolar & Schizophrenia~

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By symptoms alone is there any relation. One is a mood disorder = Bilolar Disorder.Schizophrenia is a psychotic disorder.

People who have bipolar tend to seem schizophrenic when manic.

Mania only mimics schizophrenia.

The two are still very different.

Schizophrenia does not come in cycles and it also has issues with constant voices sometimes hallucinations, and a skewed touch of what is reality.

Both illness can be treated and those with the illness can lead a good life with a strong support system and meds.

~Hatreds Whore Part 1~Part 2~Epilogue~

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~Hatreds Whore~

The subtle trapping of the flesh
Does eat the soul alive…
The folly of words that spin the web
Leaving strife and lies.
The subtle desensitizing of the mind
Eating way at the cells misfiring
Does the spirit still dwell even against its contrary morals?
Against the angst and frailty of justice?
And doth contempt churn within,
As disconcerting as before the subtle lies of hatreds whore?

 

~Hatreds Whore Part~2~

You crazy fool you think you have yet again advanced your position in this life?
Coddled entitlement chokes you and leads you ignorantly through the trenches you walk daily… Believing your own demented truths!
And does your existence prove to be so profitable?
Does your opinion truly count?
Or does thy soul eat away
The core of your spirit that
Dances idly alone through clouded dreams pass the Laws of men  smothered by society’s brew eats the meat and flesh of your bones, your life and lies doth slowly chew, and spew…… You out… Spit forth
Leftovers are all  you are fool, and to think you  never knew !
And does thy soul magnify and convey the torment ?
Or do you smile, all the while eating lies up like a child?

~Epilogue to Hatreds Whore~

The Will of youth is fading
Hinged between realm’s of grey, black, white…..wrong, right smeared dripping, bleeding into each other~
Not yet divided by age ……definitely, to young to be old, to old to be young.
Seemingly timeless, don’t we wish to believe~

Thy will was strong, Ah Thy youth vigorous! Consuming, Passionate……..Yet time upon earth has broken the will of your youth, tainted, choked the spirit of your present condition once shared Devine connection….. Suffocating in a conformist fashion…Pre-made a template duplicated…. Scorned…even Hated~

Strange strengths unknown alive yet Lacking discipline~Ominous thoughts scatter about
Eating around the skirted Subjects best left secret, leaving no clue~

Unmastered skill yielding strength
imparting ability to carry forth much more intense tasks yet to be finished with flawless execution, instead drained by surrounding energies pertaining to tasks, trying times, ever smudging smearing lines~

Visions inspired by God… That great cosmic master have wiped the slate of prophecy clean~
Over exposure to environment wiped the mind void …..trying to distinguish which voice……… which vision was God, or Demons now lurking in corners, and shadows awaiting moments of weakness to torment thoughts, your soul.
Mute Divinity the Holy Spirit once directing every step, every action of times long lost…… Lost long before this present condition, this meager existence.

Doth this evil that exist supersede the once enveloping presence man thought God to be?
Those philosophical longings… Greater questions lingering, longing for answers……
Has exposure edified the presence of human thought upon God, as deceitful, longing to have control?

Does thought of a Godless world Condemn us swiftly without Regarded thought?
Without belief in tact?
Skeptics … Dare we be?
Ah we must! Indeed.

It’s down to science to fact…..Facts often proven failures later due to fallacy, policy, ignorance believing that the mysteries of the unseen, angels, demons the Supreme One are false?
Indeed subjective.
Your Experience prevails or does it Lack?

Has doubt allowed hate to negate….contradicting lies, sealing history’s fate? Squeezing the life out, draining needs of things considered holy, Devine, to seemingly cease?
Or does it thrive within you alive?

Hatred you whore, you demonic thief… Reeking havoc destruction and grief, yet easily graceful, alluring, enticing to beseech, even more so to easily reach~

Insidious belief difference divides
opposes thought……,action with deceit, malice, subtle thief….. whore, that hate, Trying to cloud human fate….
Venomous rage, collected, captured shackled in a cage
Scorned trifling rage
Hate… You whore
Ever present searching for more~
Hating today as much as yesterday maybe a little more….
Thus my name is Hatreds Whore~

Not For Reproduction~