Excuse my blog for a few days it has a malfunction in the FIRE WALL! it’s fixed soon thank you~
Category Archives: Forgiveness
~Oceans~NJM~Quotes
You Know you could sell the ocean a cup of water that’s how convincing you are~
~Place Of Pain~New~
Places of pain
Stake through my heart
My love inside me ripped apart
It’s always the hurt that places the blame
Always some egotistical reasons to name
In times of loss and silence
Sitting in the shadows
Embracing the dark
Faith twisted torn eaten with the devils fork
Uprooted will…..not able to contain, all of this torment
This place of pain~
~Pillow fight~ Parents~
His beautiful tactics always full of wonderment
Able to take my tears from falling
Able to remove my mind from crawling into corners of darkness
Pillow fight mom!
Smack upside the corner of my head
Pillows flying
Singing
Dancing
His laughter as it echoes
Throughout the house
Saying angelic words only heard in times of despair
Mom, why are you crying?
No baby don’t worry I’m just sad.
Just sad?
Pillow fight!
Singing
Dancing
Echoes from a past I’ll never recapture
Hopes of another time when I’ll be able to claim his fellowship as mine with me
Pillow fight
Singing
Dancing
His laughter as it echoes
Forever
Love you Mom
Love you too son….
~Coming Soon~
I haven’t written in awhile and soon I will be writing about why. It is called 101 days of Hell~ and in more contemplative thoughts I’m working on how one can achieve happiness alone….. Yes I said happy and alone in one sentence and it feels good~
~Relationships~
What an intertwined word the meaning
Mostly lost and truly ever heard~
It’s the coming together of two separate parts to share with each other their plans, their hearts~
Each singular entity has its own goal
It’s the bringing together that makes the two whole~
It’s walking down the street or simply changing a lane but the biggest part one must not forget is it is not a game~
Effort is the element needed to make relationships strong to run the great run to last so so long~
Often one loses sight and forgets what’s the purpose, two worlds collided destined to be, but often all is lost because one cannot see~
Comfort zones found, lacking cohesion, this is often why two hearts part for some unknown reason~
Although fingers will point and blame surely sought, but time and again relations part~
Yes relationships can often be salvaged some even cycle full circle and turn into marriage~
The truth I convey in this whimsical rhyme is relationships are fragile take effort take time~NJM~
NOT FOR REPRODUCTION~
~Tangled Emotion~NJM~
You Tangle my emotions
Tied them in a knot
Walked out my life leaving my heart to rot
As you slammed the door
I dropped to the floor
Getting stuck in the creases
Edges tathered torn
Grabbing for paper to write a letter….
But I am a typo
On written pages of life
With a message to convey
Not without perplexing one’s views
Part of the glitch
Some call me a bitch
Others a whore
Some say they need nothing more
I complete them
Impossible you see
If I can’t complete you
How the hell do I complete me
Tangled tied ripped upart, yet I’m still alive
Often I wonder is it chaos and tragedy on which I thrive
it’s all I know it’s how I survive go figure
~ Letting Go~
You were there
Now you’re gone
You were there
I swear. Fading now like a distant dream. Memories blurry.
You stood watching for so much time
Circumstance like waves washed you upon my shore. When my eyes met yours I prayed to look into them more.
You ‘re fascinated . You ‘re transfixed . You never thought I knew all along it was you.
You were there.
Creeping, staring, almost daring.
I was living my life, guarding my truth.
But I slipped and fell and you were there. So was I
I was there, I came to know of the one who has watched me from long ago, even unto now. I was there, I’m aware. I thought you should know
It’s not poetic or even a plight. I lay down my sword now, I no longer fight. For what I think could have been, perhaps never will doesn’t matter what, I’ll love you still
Walking away now, trying not to looking back. I have to move on and stay on track.
The tracks changed for us months ago. So I’m asking politely to simply let go.
I’ll know, When you go piece a of me lives deep you in ,As you will know too, inside of me is a piece of you.
God Speed~
Not for Reproduction~
NICK PLEASE READ~Nicholas~
Nicholas your name means victory for the people.
Nicholas did you know I always said I would never have children. But along you came. I didn’t want to bring a child into a world I didn’t understand.
Nicholas do you know how special and beautiful your heart is? They’re very very few like you. Don’t ever be afraid to be different or worry what people think of you.
Nicholas you are wise far beyond years. Damn time my son, time can be so cruel. If I could go back I would be holding you safely as a child who is 2 yrs old bikie in mouth eyes so big with wonderment.
Nicholas do you want to be with me? Or has your mind been clouded. Remember Momma always said tell the truth, this includes two sides and your side. I know this is hard to understand but one day you’ll get it.
Nicholas the love I have for you is immeasurable and without any condition. I realize it can not be bought, no computers or games last forever, they fade… Love does not. Others will try to buy your love.
Nicholas things that happened should have never went down as they did. It is what it is. Life is gonna come at you quickly sometime and there is not a way to prepare.
Nicholas there are those who feed off another’s pain and suffering, why? Because all they know is pain and suffering. They no not the inner love that God gave to us. Somewhere in life theirs was stolen, or they did not come equip with it. Everyone is wired a bit differently.
Each day you’re away from me my heart dies a little.
My son I can’t live without you, it’s that simple. My only prayer is your mind is of its own not polluted by others agendas.
One day when you have a child you will better understand. Until then the only prayer I can utter to God is to keep you safe, around good people despite circumstances and mostly bring you back to me.
Nicholas I love you
Always
Your Mom
~Kismets Dance~Lovers Eternal Dance Part 2~
Will not be denied
Ignored, nor exploited~
Represent with respect
Keep your intentions in check~
Takng caution as not walk the same path~ I expect this time love Will last~
Quiet the mind~
Hoping to find~
Someone kind~
Refuge is obscure but can be found
both up above as well as the ground~
Learning to be quiet is to not make a sound~
To hide away~
Never be found~
You unravel me, trying to coerce my heart, Beckoning me to play the part
Your style and finesse is likened unto art~
But you need to be informed that I can not be bought~Traded or bartered, I’m your plant that needs to be watered.~
I will not sell out, nor walk in fear
The fruition of what is us is now drawing near~
An eclipse of circumstance
Longing closure Kismets dance~
This dance is not quick, oh no it Will stick, Around dancing and swaying to our cosmic sound.. Orbiting, Resonating
More than chance to finally dance
Indeed it’s time to dance my love
To dance~
So no more hiding away come out of dark corners and with me stay~
I’m finding it hard to live each day
I’ve walked hell and high water wouldn’t you say?
Silently pray~
For you~
For us~
For them~
Indeed we must share
longing and separation
Causes despair~
Nonetheless together we’re an unbeatable pair~
Demi Gods among mortals
Desiring our skill~ only time Will tell Wouldn’t you say, or is it merely skill that Will flow with love never wanting to kill~
They long for a moment to Experience our thrill~
Always more than by chance to meet Yet again to fulfill Kismets Dance~
Let’s Dance
I’ll put on my red shoes as Bowie would say~
You put on your suit and tie
Then dance this dance until we both die…
Still never saying goodbye. Eternally~
Not for reproduction~
Bipolar Tapestry~Poetic Thoughts 