Updated~Two Week Notice~yeah already~—

Posted on by

Dear God up above I can still feel your love…. but I’m sorry to say I must leave go away~ you called me a light worker, I can only do so much never ever figured out what is the human touch.

You blessed me with human a beautiful baby boy. I’m entrusting you to him, he is a child and yet my sin~when I try to write my book I don’t even know where to begin my life was fast like a whirlwind…and pieces scattered about and within

It’s all like a puzzle that was left in a closet hidden away, no one notice nor knew what to say

Laying by the devils side it isn’t hard to decide, he is the God of this world I now see, and I figured out the exit for me…. for any who look and choose to see, my mission complete~

So just give two weeks notice and keep the memories they serve no purpose when I’m gone. My words will live on and on. I planted seeds along the way, somehow though was led astray. So here I am Lord here I lay so I request an early judgement day.

I would do the same for my son, I would love him no matter what he may have done.

I ask in return you bless his life free of worry grief strife…. to live to laugh to love to know I can still see him from far above.

I laid by the devils side for over half my life it caused me to much pain to much strife and as a human being I’m sick of this life… I quit. Well I’m giving my two week notice as any good employee of a universal truth I must say I did enjoy my youth….. sometimes…. it reminded me I wasn’t meant for here, I was wild free and truly fierce scared of NOTHING!!!! Not even death. I couldn’t wait to take a last breath… but I endured and at times I laughed

But often rejected due to class, stereotypes, and bullshit in general full circle around but this time my Lord I leave this playground~ two weeks notice not to long to go and when I get where I’m Going please don’t say “I told you so” see ya soon!

Probably by noon

~Nicole~Unyielding~ Triumphed~My Hand in Gods~

Posted on by

I am a delicate rose 🌹 in the month of May, However my thorns although hidden, will flare out and remind others I am not an easy fight. And fight you I will.

I will leave you quickly and move on should I feel you’re not worthy of a love/friendship of mine.

I ………truly Lord am not asking too much, I just want someone to make me feel… feel again, the warmth of them on cold nights. Too connect and help heal the whole in my heart ❤️ created by a trust that was broken~

I was choking on my own words listening to the excuses being made around me, choking trying to say let it be.

I have a gaurdian and it protects me… I don’t always accept its help instead I jump and run then later I wish I had a pistol a gun then I could literally put a whole in my heart I could be done with this world 🌎 it tore me apart~

But it won’t let me, it whispers in my ear that now is not the time but it will stay near to catch me when I fall, softly and I cry and I ask it why. Just be still for once stop running a race stay on track with a steady pace. It you see… is God in me. Be still my child I will redeem the time for you, restore what was lost, you done your raging, you paid your cost. A reward awaits you , you will see I am with you and your always with me~

I was inspired by a piece of work from Zachary K.Douglas…

~Views of God And Lacking Conviction~

Posted on by

Had a conversation not long ago with a dear friend I met via Quora, we have talked a bit through emails.

He was once a Christian, he now has abandoned his faith for the choice of being an Atheist.
We none the less still communicate… Not as often lately but none the less he has made a positive impact upon me, and although we have had some deep, deep discussion on things of spiritual nature, God, the lack thereof, we always walk away knowing we will be close although our views of God are different. With him being the lack of a God, with me believing in God. It’s a touchy subject you see, religious, political, racial, sexualpreference…poverty.. You get the picture. I’m am not gonna tag him, he will know when he reads this.. That it was my answer to a debate or conversation of sorts about why I believe in God. He sent a photo one day via email as part of an unfinished conversation the following words you will read was my response to the photo and what was(We finally To Just Agree toDisagree) our on going philosophical discussion of things such as atheism, theism, monotheism, pandiabolism( Fredrick Neitzsche actual stance was pandiabolism) Sorry I don’t have photo

Yes, I see that, and what I’ll say is there will always be what you see above in those pictures, as long as you reside on this earth.This earth is governed by the law of free will. You are aware of this? I’m certain you are. Do you understand the law? That I’m not sure. You want to believe that God does not exist. I understand this, however I also see a conflict in you ,a reflection so to speak. You want others to validate your belief. Why? Because if morepeople share your belief it makes it real for you. That’s fine. As long as we are here in this realm, on this earth, we will continue to see pain and suffering. God will not intervene where he has given men charge. This earth was given over to humans long ago. The challenge with the above picture is for those same men to rise up and use the power of will, the power God gave to change the above picture. This of course will never happen on earth, why? Because our conversation is a pure example. We can’t agree.Because there is not a firm and positive agreement, and never has been, therefore conflict, strife, discord, suffering and pain, will all exist… That is as long as humans are left to there own devices, to govern their own will. Which God did do. Change for the above photo will only occur if everyone agrees… Which will not happen, as previously stated. Life is not a one size fits all. If it were, it would be boring, if we never knew suffering, then we could never understand the beauty and joy, vice versa. I’m always gonna have a rebuttal as you will too, why? Because as I beautifully stated… We won’t agree. That’s the sadness of it all.
But it is life here on earth. It is what it is. Accept it or don’t. It’s all down to a choice, a view.

~I’ll Always be~Mystery….My words…I did not put this here~

Posted on by

I’ll always be wanting the unrequited love~

I’ll always be the piece that don’t fit~

I’ll always be looking for that character defect to see, if it exist in you then it also exist in me~

I’ll always hurry with no place to rest~

I’ll always be able to run with the best~

I’ll always be watching, looking. But I will not settle.

Perhaps my soul is turning into metal. Heart made of steal, maybe baby I’m to damn real.

I’ll always will believe there is a God~

I’ll always have illness of the mind this makes it hard to find my kind~

I’ll always fall into dick sand if I’m not watchful of intent. Where the hell this one went~

I’ll always try to discipline my self in ways many won’t understand~

I’ll remain celibate and untouched even by me till I find that man~

I’ll buy a beach shack if he never shows up, pour my coffee in my cup work on my Novels and be married to Neptune king of the sea, on the shoreline walking that’s where I’ll always be~

~Retribution~ great read!

Posted on by

Often you hear that Karma is a bitch, that they’ll get theirs. “Who gives them the bill?” I asked in prayer one day, hear is what I heard God say “you don’t need to do nothing, most of the time I do it for you, but there are times I give you the strength for you to see it through.”I decide when and who you collect the bill, unless I tell you to then best stay still. ” so I am the instrument you use sometimes I get the ideas from you the Devine? Yes my child that is correct and don’t for get what to collect and always remember we don’t take checks”

I laughed out loud when I heard this at first God has a sense of humor I thought as I continued to pray, then I heard when the time comes you will know who must pay, I don’t allow much of this type of collection to be done but for some my child that day will come don’t deviate from my plan as I will use you for retribution with my Devine hand~NJM~

Not for Reproduction~

Small excerpt upcoming book ~1017 Cypress Street~piece from Chapter 3~Secret Places~this post was hacked!

Posted on by

Eyes dilated,that tacky icky feeling churned in her stomach just as the rain and wind blew outside the window all Of which were remnants of the hurricane Katrina… Similar to her own life and that feeling that damn feeling you know the one…. “The bottom will fall out at any minute” kind of feeling she lived with that feeling always tucked in corners of her mind, waiting to torment her just as this storms moving slow so did her thoughts , and like a drop of water that taps the sink in the back ground….. Her thoughts drifted in the back of her mind she thought I should be calling around to find her brothers, which by the way she felt very off putting trying to do so. Instead She let her thoughts drift to a time in her childhood where she was in love with her cousin Nicoli. Wherever Nicoli was Noel was right by him. She wanted him, his approval and attention so much, she would do about anything he asked of her. They grew up together, saw each other every weekend when her Dad picked her up for his weekend visits with her. Her thoughts began to drift off to when she was 7and her cousin was 12. Looking back oh so far back She now realized that he used her and her innocence for his curiosity.
She let him brush her hair. He loved her hair. Then we have the magazines she would smuggle to her cousins house from her Dad’s house each weekend. Penthouse and Playboy.
Nicoli and Josh , (Josh was Nicoli’s younger brother and Noels other unfavorable cousin,) they couldn’t wait for her arrival since She carried the contraband they had no worries. Her Dad had so many magazines 20 missing wouldn’t be noticed.
Nicoli wanted to know about what he saw in these playboy magazine so

who fucked with this damn post either Will or will or someone who is close stop hacking the blog or wake up the damn witch in me. You know I need no technology to reach you now don’t we? You would know more than anyone.

~ Lacking Feeling~

Posted on by

Disappearing into your gravity

can’t help it,

It raddled my mind

shakes my existence to the core

Yet in the place I am. I desire more

More than the justice lacking

The people slacking

Cyber hacking

Only a bleak

Shell of someone

Something

Happening

Hanging by a tread

Attached still the needle

Somehow won’t let go

Yet the needle will not yield

Any useful artifact

Lacking form

Without

Feeling~

~Hurricane Katrina~ Chapter 2 ~1017 Cypress Street~

Posted on by

The buzz of dread filled the atmosphere. A storm like Katrina hadn’t come this close and been this strong in years and it was strengthening to a Catagory 5…. A storm of such magnitude can change everything instantly.
With heavy laden feet and numb heart she got up and began getting ready for work, the weather channel could be heard in the background as she leaned in closer to the mirror applying mascara, eyes sallow, concern washed over her and she looked disheveled worrying about what was going to take place. All eyes in the world were waiting to see where Katrina would land. Mississippi or Louisiana.
Idly she stood with a catatonic stare. She did not feel like working yet she stood next to the Lancôme counter leaning against it, watching people just moving around like ants shopping all smeared faces of strangers, rich women who could wear her patients thin because a shade of lipstick was not exactly the same shade of their purse and shoes they just bought. It was a good job, she was just tired of retail and marketing.
Fate and the fate of her son and a final location to take root and live were all resting on the storm.

Beyond the present state of the earthly forces, She had recently partnered with her ex husband to help raise her son, that alone was a gamble, one she took. She wouldn’t let Donnell hurt her or their child. Later on she’ll wish she had taken thought long and hard before making any decisions, however Katrina wasn’t going to give up any more time.
Katrina had its eye on Biloxi, and she staid her course. Although Biloxi was hit worse, New Orleans being a bigger city received more news coverage due to the levees breaking and the floods, continual rain were all turning New Orleans into a nightmare.
After making it through 5 hours of work she was finally headed home. Her heels clicked with each step as she neared her car in the parking garage Her cell phone rang as she was getting into her car , She answered to hear her Mom on the other line. “honey listen, I need you to find my boys make sure they’re alright” her Mom said as she cried. She thought “Her boys”…. She must have tucked her siblings into the back of her mind. “What boys?” She asked. “Your brothers honey” “I know you can’t remember you were to young but you have 4 brothers”…. She was Floored when she heard that news. Brothers! Finally she spoke “ok Mom I’ll see what I can do, but I need names and a place to

Start looking.” “Look for Labello’s Auto” it’s a car shop one of your brothers had” try there”.
So now plot thickens She has 4 brothers she has no recollection of a storm that’s a killer hitting land. The likely hood of finding her “brothers” whom she never met or can’t remember meeting would be thin since most all her Mom’s children had different Dads.
Slowly as the storm bared down on land she could feel an ache in her belly. So much is going to change very fast She just could feel it.

A storm of this magnitude is going to rearrange her life and the lives of many others,how symbolic it was the storm, a methrphor of her unyielding, continually shocking tail of what is her life. Things churn in storms. Storms stir up lives and deaths and sometimes life and death are straight ahead but you never knew it. Ghost hidden come out to play. Her “brothers” were a fine example of ghost coming out to play.

(Excerpt of My Novel) ~Chapter 1~1017 Cypress Street~Based on actual events~Edited~

Posted on by

She felt her life was always a puzzle piece and the puzzle couldn’t completely be found. Personal wars and scars she endured from early childhood.Her life never yielded a dull moment. The sense of the bottom dropping out always lived in the back of her mind, but she pressed on and tried to control the feeling that haunted her.

She was excited at the thought of her new home, although it was an older home she would carve it out and make a home for her and her family. The pool was a big selling point, she loved to swim, was always drawn to water. Calmed the storm that seemed to always be slightly to the left of her thoughts, tucked away.
The moment she walked through the front door the house seemed to welcome her, feed on her energy… It was as though the two would be as one. Never did she think about departure……..her having to leave this home,after all she was going to buy it.

Now the house sits quietly never keeping anyone there long. It was her house, but he made her leave.

Parts of her loss haunts the halls of that house… It will forever cry for her return. Forever warning her of the evil intent that lurks across the street.

Years have gone by but for her it feels like yesterday, with the blink of her eye and a deep breath she is back there, a part of her is back there back at the house.

As her eyes remain closed she remembers how it felt ….Jumping effortlessly into the beautiful pool late at night her body completely covered only by the water. Right across the street he watched her,captivated. Intrigued.

Quickly as though a jolt of energy sent shock waves through her body, her eyes blink open to her present reality one that’s never been the same since that house since she met him.
She didn’t have a clue that her life was building up to that moment, a moment that could kill the very essesnse of all the good she had in her, change her forever leaving her a shell of the women she once was.

~NJM~Quotes~Historyof Men and God~

Posted on by

God created man in his own image? What they don’t tell you is the copy is no where near the original~NJM~