~My Ghost~

I want to talk and visit with my Ghost again although I can’t see him I think he’s my friend.

My ghost would always be near right now…. right in here.

I miss the glitches and all things strange at least when around him I don’t go insane.

He has hurt me a few times

He has loved me more too

I know my ghost well…… his name, his game, how he watches each time my life takes a fall.

Wondering if this Women can take it all. The ghost see’s it’s to much and further more scared to touch.

My ghost may not know this but I live very near wonder if me and my ghost cause each other fear…. or hope for a better day one where we actually can meet face to face one day.

This ghost fascination with me may never die also my ghost usually makes me laugh and not cry

What’s sad as I mentioned is you can scare Ghost too, and sometimes the ghost might even be you~

~Restless Bipolar Thoughts~

Bipolar mind

Machinations

Eclectic mind

So random without order

Content unknown

Images flash

Strewn about thoughts

Racing fast,

Flooding my brain invading

Concepts to conceptualize

Twisting

There is no pause

No stillness

To much to contemplate

Subjects subjective

Bursting

Perception yet perceived

Intent

Only to be Crystallized

Donnell Kerr  Christian~follows give me support on this very critical post!


Donnell Margaret Donald KERR~
There is no easy way to put this

No easy way to say

But you all think you are a Christian in a comfy corner you pray~

While your own flesh and blood did you turn away~

Does Jesus not say, Whatsoever you do to the least of my children that I do unto you?

Yes I believe that has been written~


My son……your blood as a new born kitten, you turned your back to a blind eye did you give, Do you really think in heaven you’ll live?

You dress all fancy on Sunday and sing put on your holy face~

But the promise the Lord made to his children is he will wipe you out erase from the book of life you see

You all turned your back on Donnell’s son trust this is not about me.

So when you read Gods word you sing and you pray it’s the blood of the innocent for which you will pay~

He did nothing to you, or you, or you, but I can tell you’re all ignorant and have not a clue~No Holy Spirit abides within you!

Suffer not the little children… hmmmm….

You go about life as though your grandson/Son Doesn’t exist~

On judgement day you’ll feel the Lords fist slam down the book make you take a look., Hypocrite you see? Think you better than me? Than the rest? Time God puts you to the test~ or maybe give it a rest, nope it’s the contrary~

Hey your daughter Noel some call a fairy? I think you know what I mean some say a queen, but it is what it is, so she’s gay, did not your God make her that way? Yes I believe he did.

Hey she is cool with me but the Bible you read doesn’t accept that you see?

You can live free~

On time bought buy the blood~

Times running short~

And so is the love~

Those who reject others reject themselves in turn God also will reject you~

Not sure what bible you read, But you know not the creed.

You Judge and sit tight now~

Think it’s all right now~

Time has a way of making you complacent you see?like so many others, fake and a snake slither the earth~

Not sure why I write this for I do not curse, vengeance is God’s~

Perhaps I am a small instrument he used to keep you on track and not be confused.

God is not the author of confusion you see, I’ll always accept you, yet you have yet to accept me or my son~

Perhaps retribution has begun……

Turn the other cheek?

Turn away the meek?

The weak?

Helpless?

Well …you did!

He now is a young man

No longer a kid.

I write all this down~

It’s my therapy you see~

I advocate for breaking stigmas~

Breaking exclusiveness~

Bringing in inclusiveness~

For all who suffer affliction~

Both physical and of the mind~

I try to think myself kind~

I often fall short~

Trust I’m no saint that’s for sure~

But enough is enough I’m letting you …..now endure~

Forgive me for my in your face ways, but we all know the bill somebody pays~

Truly I strive to forgive I try to be courageous in how I now live~

Such as this is the case but I truly give thanks for Gods loving grace~

God’s grace abounds the utterance the sound of cries long gone from days long past~

To think at one time I thought Your sons love for me and his child might last~

I want to thank you for training up your child Donnell in the way he should go, so that when he gets old he will not depart from it.

So I write a lot in quiet I sit, no doubt I’m a sinner too,

But I’m sure I’m not a sinner like you~

Not for Reproduction~

Updated~Two Week Notice~yeah already~—

Dear God up above I can still feel your love…. but I’m sorry to say I must leave go away~ you called me a light worker, I can only do so much never ever figured out what is the human touch.

You blessed me with human a beautiful baby boy. I’m entrusting you to him, he is a child and yet my sin~when I try to write my book I don’t even know where to begin my life was fast like a whirlwind…and pieces scattered about and within

It’s all like a puzzle that was left in a closet hidden away, no one notice nor knew what to say

Laying by the devils side it isn’t hard to decide, he is the God of this world I now see, and I figured out the exit for me…. for any who look and choose to see, my mission complete~

So just give two weeks notice and keep the memories they serve no purpose when I’m gone. My words will live on and on. I planted seeds along the way, somehow though was led astray. So here I am Lord here I lay so I request an early judgement day.

I would do the same for my son, I would love him no matter what he may have done.

I ask in return you bless his life free of worry grief strife…. to live to laugh to love to know I can still see him from far above.

I laid by the devils side for over half my life it caused me to much pain to much strife and as a human being I’m sick of this life… I quit. Well I’m giving my two week notice as any good employee of a universal truth I must say I did enjoy my youth….. sometimes…. it reminded me I wasn’t meant for here, I was wild free and truly fierce scared of NOTHING!!!! Not even death. I couldn’t wait to take a last breath… but I endured and at times I laughed

But often rejected due to class, stereotypes, and bullshit in general full circle around but this time my Lord I leave this playground~ two weeks notice not to long to go and when I get where I’m Going please don’t say “I told you so” see ya soon!

Probably by noon

~Views of God And Lacking Conviction~

Had a conversation not long ago with a dear friend I met via Quora, we have talked a bit through emails.

He was once a Christian, he now has abandoned his faith for the choice of being an Atheist.
We none the less still communicate… Not as often lately but none the less he has made a positive impact upon me, and although we have had some deep, deep discussion on things of spiritual nature, God, the lack thereof, we always walk away knowing we will be close although our views of God are different. With him being the lack of a God, with me believing in God. It’s a touchy subject you see, religious, political, racial, sexualpreference…poverty.. You get the picture. I’m am not gonna tag him, he will know when he reads this.. That it was my answer to a debate or conversation of sorts about why I believe in God. He sent a photo one day via email as part of an unfinished conversation the following words you will read was my response to the photo and what was(We finally To Just Agree toDisagree) our on going philosophical discussion of things such as atheism, theism, monotheism, pandiabolism( Fredrick Neitzsche actual stance was pandiabolism) Sorry I don’t have photo

Yes, I see that, and what I’ll say is there will always be what you see above in those pictures, as long as you reside on this earth.This earth is governed by the law of free will. You are aware of this? I’m certain you are. Do you understand the law? That I’m not sure. You want to believe that God does not exist. I understand this, however I also see a conflict in you ,a reflection so to speak. You want others to validate your belief. Why? Because if morepeople share your belief it makes it real for you. That’s fine. As long as we are here in this realm, on this earth, we will continue to see pain and suffering. God will not intervene where he has given men charge. This earth was given over to humans long ago. The challenge with the above picture is for those same men to rise up and use the power of will, the power God gave to change the above picture. This of course will never happen on earth, why? Because our conversation is a pure example. We can’t agree.Because there is not a firm and positive agreement, and never has been, therefore conflict, strife, discord, suffering and pain, will all exist… That is as long as humans are left to there own devices, to govern their own will. Which God did do. Change for the above photo will only occur if everyone agrees… Which will not happen, as previously stated. Life is not a one size fits all. If it were, it would be boring, if we never knew suffering, then we could never understand the beauty and joy, vice versa. I’m always gonna have a rebuttal as you will too, why? Because as I beautifully stated… We won’t agree. That’s the sadness of it all.
But it is life here on earth. It is what it is. Accept it or don’t. It’s all down to a choice, a view.

~Please Read~

I first want to thank you all my WordPress follows, my success depends greatly on you and the content I produce. Think of me as a news reporter difference is I report on breaking stigma on mental illness , and I report incidents I feel others can learn from that I have had happen to me. So I am a writer blogger, personal,reporter.

Next……. yesterday my perpetrator left comments on my post trying to threaten me and so forth and his games are old now I pray I always stay two steps ahead of him.

What I say is if you don’t like what I write or the subject of what I write about, don’t read my blog. It bares repeating If YOU DON’T LIKE MY BLOG DON’T VISIT IT NOR READ IT or COMMENTj (I will just trash it) It’s my site and my freedom of speech.

To all my supporters thank you for your prayers and positive energy thank you for reading And hearing me, and definitely for following..

~NJM~

~She Fell~New~

She fell

Life was hell

Running like mad

Circles

Sad

Scorn

Shame

Was it a game

Her mind not the same

She fell

Tripped over foot

Zig zag she skipped

Trying to flip

Take her hurt

Burry in dirt

She is touched

The unseen realm

Angels

Demons

Lurk

Whispers of a time

That left

Return once again

To guide her

She fell

And Angels pick her up

Making the atmosphere

Thick

Surreal

She fell to her knees

Begging the Lord

Please

She Fell

But life no longer will be hell

She got up

Stood strong

Long

Waited

Like a missile

Shooting star

Coming straight for you

No matter how far

Targets

What you are?

What are you?

Or

Wait didn’t she fall

She fell

From a life on earth

From the living hell

She listened she prayed

Was picked plucked

You imagine the next line

It’s yours to fill in

Watch now your face if it turns to a grin

Sin

If you feel her longing her strength

The power she was given to go any length

After all

She fell

Tore through Hell

Lives in the truth

Hates all the lies

Conditions

Red tape

How did the world get so

Out of shape

No wonder……

Not for reproduction~