Places of pain
Stake through my heart
My love inside me ripped apart
It’s always the hurt that places the blame
Always some egotistical reasons to name
In times of loss and silence
Sitting in the shadows
Embracing the dark
Faith twisted torn eaten with the devils fork
Uprooted will…..not able to contain, all of this torment
This place of pain~
A life lived for another is no life at all. Be yourself~who are you living for?
Count the cost before you invest in anything or anyone, Why? you are priceless.!!
Often we forget this Devine truth and settle because it seemed much easier a bit more comfy I suppose…… really? Yeah really we all have at one point severely malfunctioned and didn’t count the cost, some more than others.
I know, I’ve more than forgotten my worth that’s certain. I’m priceless. What’s you’re cost?
Mark 8:36.
For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?
I haven’t written in awhile and soon I will be writing about why. It is called 101 days of Hell~ and in more contemplative thoughts I’m working on how one can achieve happiness alone….. Yes I said happy and alone in one sentence and it feels good~
Sometimes letting go is the only way to hang on~
Donnell Margaret Donald KERR~
There is no easy way to put this
No easy way to say
But you all think you are a Christian in a comfy corner you pray~
While your own flesh and blood did you turn away~
Does Jesus not say, Whatsoever you do to the least of my children that I do unto you?
Yes I believe that has been written~
My son……your blood as a new born kitten, you turned your back to a blind eye did you give, Do you really think in heaven you’ll live?
You dress all fancy on Sunday and sing put on your holy face~
But the promise the Lord made to his children is he will wipe you out erase from the book of life you see
You all turned your back on Donnell’s son trust this is not about me.
So when you read Gods word you sing and you pray it’s the blood of the innocent for which you will pay~
He did nothing to you, or you, or you, but I can tell you’re all ignorant and have not a clue~No Holy Spirit abides within you!
Suffer not the little children… hmmmm….
You go about life as though your grandson/Son Doesn’t exist~
On judgement day you’ll feel the Lords fist slam down the book make you take a look., Hypocrite you see? Think you better than me? Than the rest? Time God puts you to the test~ or maybe give it a rest, nope it’s the contrary~
Hey your daughter Noel some call a fairy? I think you know what I mean some say a queen, but it is what it is, so she’s gay, did not your God make her that way? Yes I believe he did.
Hey she is cool with me but the Bible you read doesn’t accept that you see?
You can live free~
On time bought buy the blood~
Times running short~
And so is the love~
Those who reject others reject themselves in turn God also will reject you~
Not sure what bible you read, But you know not the creed.
You Judge and sit tight now~
Think it’s all right now~
Time has a way of making you complacent you see?like so many others, fake and a snake slither the earth~
Not sure why I write this for I do not curse, vengeance is God’s~
Perhaps I am a small instrument he used to keep you on track and not be confused.
God is not the author of confusion you see, I’ll always accept you, yet you have yet to accept me or my son~
Perhaps retribution has begun……
Turn the other cheek?
Turn away the meek?
The weak?
Helpless?
Well …you did!
He now is a young man
No longer a kid.
I write all this down~
It’s my therapy you see~
I advocate for breaking stigmas~
Breaking exclusiveness~
Bringing in inclusiveness~
For all who suffer affliction~
Both physical and of the mind~
I try to think myself kind~
I often fall short~
Trust I’m no saint that’s for sure~
But enough is enough I’m letting you …..now endure~
Forgive me for my in your face ways, but we all know the bill somebody pays~
Truly I strive to forgive I try to be courageous in how I now live~
Such as this is the case but I truly give thanks for Gods loving grace~
God’s grace abounds the utterance the sound of cries long gone from days long past~
To think at one time I thought Your sons love for me and his child might last~
I want to thank you for training up your child Donnell in the way he should go, so that when he gets old he will not depart from it.
So I write a lot in quiet I sit, no doubt I’m a sinner too,
But I’m sure I’m not a sinner like you~
Not for Reproduction~
Dear God up above I can still feel your love…. but I’m sorry to say I must leave go away~ you called me a light worker, I can only do so much never ever figured out what is the human touch.
You blessed me with human a beautiful baby boy. I’m entrusting you to him, he is a child and yet my sin~when I try to write my book I don’t even know where to begin my life was fast like a whirlwind…and pieces scattered about and within
It’s all like a puzzle that was left in a closet hidden away, no one notice nor knew what to say
Laying by the devils side it isn’t hard to decide, he is the God of this world I now see, and I figured out the exit for me…. for any who look and choose to see, my mission complete~
So just give two weeks notice and keep the memories they serve no purpose when I’m gone. My words will live on and on. I planted seeds along the way, somehow though was led astray. So here I am Lord here I lay so I request an early judgement day.
I would do the same for my son, I would love him no matter what he may have done.
I ask in return you bless his life free of worry grief strife…. to live to laugh to love to know I can still see him from far above.
I laid by the devils side for over half my life it caused me to much pain to much strife and as a human being I’m sick of this life… I quit. Well I’m giving my two week notice as any good employee of a universal truth I must say I did enjoy my youth….. sometimes…. it reminded me I wasn’t meant for here, I was wild free and truly fierce scared of NOTHING!!!! Not even death. I couldn’t wait to take a last breath… but I endured and at times I laughed
But often rejected due to class, stereotypes, and bullshit in general full circle around but this time my Lord I leave this playground~ two weeks notice not to long to go and when I get where I’m Going please don’t say “I told you so” see ya soon!
Probably by noon
So if my grave is dug and they lay me to rest will you be the first to shovel the earth upon my body after my death?
I first want to thank you all my WordPress follows, my success depends greatly on you and the content I produce. Think of me as a news reporter difference is I report on breaking stigma on mental illness , and I report incidents I feel others can learn from that I have had happen to me. So I am a writer blogger, personal,reporter.
Next……. yesterday my perpetrator left comments on my post trying to threaten me and so forth and his games are old now I pray I always stay two steps ahead of him.
What I say is if you don’t like what I write or the subject of what I write about, don’t read my blog. It bares repeating If YOU DON’T LIKE MY BLOG DON’T VISIT IT NOR READ IT or COMMENTj (I will just trash it) It’s my site and my freedom of speech.
To all my supporters thank you for your prayers and positive energy thank you for reading And hearing me, and definitely for following..
~NJM~
Often you hear that Karma is a bitch, that they’ll get theirs. “Who gives them the bill?” I asked in prayer one day, hear is what I heard God say “you don’t need to do nothing, most of the time I do it for you, but there are times I give you the strength for you to see it through.”I decide when and who you collect the bill, unless I tell you to then best stay still. ” so I am the instrument you use sometimes I get the ideas from you the Devine? Yes my child that is correct and don’t for get what to collect and always remember we don’t take checks”
I laughed out loud when I heard this at first God has a sense of humor I thought as I continued to pray, then I heard when the time comes you will know who must pay, I don’t allow much of this type of collection to be done but for some my child that day will come don’t deviate from my plan as I will use you for retribution with my Devine hand~NJM~
Not for Reproduction~
Bipolar Tapestry~Poetic Thoughts 