Your life is not yours, it is a series of events you walk through blindly.Deceiving yourself thinking your eyes were open~that’s truth~NJM~
Category Archives: Bible
~Love~
He that loveth not knoweth not God. For God is LOVE! 1 John 4: 8
So love more hate less and don’t ride fences. ~NJM~
So smile you are loved!
~It Could Be Worse~ Fragmented~NJM~
I drank the poison
I sit quietly as storms brew around me
Damn dark clouds spinning wondering…………………could it be worse?
Lately I’m Reducing myself to a child like statements “I never asked to be born!” God.
Cloudy day you will not catch me vulnerable off guard
Depression is my muse
So in my craziness let me lay and in your mouth of madness pray
Quit toying with me finish me this day already or release me
I need philosophical conversation less hesitation
How about it is what it is, instead of trying to make it something that it isn’t
The worse that can happen is the worse.
Moods mixed dripping from a rusty faucet or are the bowels of despair and hopeless abandonment. Eating away at your core? Wanting to feel this way no more
If you entered into a relationship today with the knowledge of knowing it will come to an end, would you engage and interact within and with that relationship? Define relationship… It’s myriads to scrutinize. Is the notion of such cause for suicide? Control? What of these….relationships. You’re living one now. It’s a relationship based with you and life. The other people are just the variables.
What do the people who are worse off do?
You often here it could be worse …. Well what of those that are locked away in a murderers cage……. What do they think ? It could be worse? I’m gonna die? So truly what is worse?
I will not concern myself with what I’m no longer concerned with. Yet I do. Contradict indeed. I’ll grab your hand to lead the way to have concern for you its in my DNA.
It’s all of what God wants what if I do otherwise will I be quickly be condemned thrown to purgatory? No I’ve made the bed it’s my consequence nothing more.
Lazy thoughts cloud conclusions unknown to basic rationalization Algorithm calculation
Over processed, infected by a virus. You are my virus, no cure in sight.
Seeds you planted are now overgrown weeds in my mind
Trimming them only makes them grow~
Bumpy potholes all over the road
Don’t make me your mission don’t be a mortar for me. Opposition. Save me.
Cloudy day you will not catch me vulnerable off guard
I awake to………..An instant acute awareness of all things, sharpened senses that if not properly used self destruct
I concealed my soiled hands behind my back, somewhere along the line I must have gone off track
I see the end…. Look don’t you… I forget your vision is clouded, and I’m filtering differently too. Lacking true vision that’s you
Like bad news of a death you speak of things you know not of, You hurt, is that all you know? Could be worse.
Unknown visitation trying you prepare. What exactly are you preparing for? Always be ready, You are you be you. It could be worse.
You loved and lost. But greater love is he who carries the Lord in their heart. Love never loses.
It could be worse
Skeletons with rotting flesh cling A pool of blood maps out the trail Stench of death fumes raise high many try running as many die, guess it could be worse~
I’m sick of awaking in a fog. God would you sit awhile let me hear your thunderous heavenly voice say it’s all okay including the fog and the occasional fire.
Tell me how long will we grovel at the feet of wealth and power How long will we bow to their golden calf.
How long will we curtsey to all the new religions? They water down truth until truth will be no more.
The awkward moment I see your mind is sick too, you only mimic society so they never knew, hypocrite~
Did God know bout you’re dyin day that it be of your own hand or his that has its way?
I feel so completely incomplete Take my hands stretch them out nail me to the cross then nail the cross to my feet Damn Martyr~
Laid upon the tall green grass my mind laid in textiles like tapestry in my head. Dampened thoughts moist with residue of complex philosophy and skewed intent wondering where the hell my life went in a different path, I feel alike lot Sylvia Plath~
There is steam on the window with writing on the glass….. But the words are blurry, I’m rushed in a hurry………. But to where I’m hurried too I know not. What does it say? Hurry……ok but where?
In this corner you think I’m in, your talons about to sink in I feel your claws grasping my skin… About to fly away with your prize your meal that has eyes.
Remember now I’m never how you envisioned maybe it be best you rethink your decision
Clearly I might snap and sting causing extreme collision.
I’m the benefits fully loaded equipt but without warranty yet still a guarantee.
The further back I step more space allowed between
I feel you less
Like a dog
I allowed you
To kick me
I returned
Again
Again
To my vomit
Then I had enough snapped and said the end~
Flesh hanging from my mouth….,..Carries the pieces you took from me raw and intact with my words my mouth alone. Your loss.
Herald bringer state the case close it well. Once told no more to tell. Usurper~
Sand storms blind suffocate Quick sand sucks you in like hate… Oh precious longing fate
Flares up as flames ignite, you sink into the quick sand you lost all control.
Figured you might~
Ensue the fight~
Problem is neither is right~
Truth be told I want what I want
Needs not the same, I’m over all childish games,
I don’t listen therefore I get hurt, pouring more pain in my heart
Still I hope somehow deep inside we never part, that God will allow for us a start….
Suppose we Will see…
What could be worse
~My Son~
My Son life is gift and You are a gift to life~
My Son take care of yourself love yourself respect yourself and others will respect you~
My Son you will grow up and become a man never lose your inner child~
My Son you will win some and lose some don’t let the loss make you bitter but instead let it make you stronger~
My Son there is a God, we come from something bigger than us, give thanks and know God and angels watch over you~
My Son there will come a day that someone will let you down don’t lose your faith~
My Son there will be those who will lie about you, always do your best to tell the truth~
My Son you will fall in love one day remember love takes time to grow don’t jump in head first learn to understand each other to grow together~
My Son people say there is one great love in everyone’s life but remember that true love is immeasurable and to love alone is great~
My Son you will have many acquaintances and meet many people however you likely will have one true friend care for that friend and be there for them as I pray they will be there for you~
My Son you will meet many who are in need throughout your life do your best to be charitable learn to give~
My Son you will see many things in life that are unfair but do your best to not judge and know life eventually evens the score~
My Son you will come across others who are miserable and rude learn to be kind don’t take it personal be and example~
My Son don’t let other’s influence your thoughts learn to think for yourself~
My Son there will come a day where you will be afraid be brave and overcome~
My Son there will be those who will tell you are not good enough, know your value never sell yourself short~
My Son you will face the impossible in life don’t let it stop you , every dream can become a reality strive and press on and always do your best make your dreams come true I have faith in you~
My Son be different don’t conform stand out from the rest, stand tall, stand proud~
My Son there will be times in life to be humble, learn from this, understand this, grow from this~
My Son you can not save the world but you can make your area of the world a better place, care for mother earth the beautiful animals and those who have less than you, respect what you have been given take care of what is given you and greater things will come your way~
My Son not everyone is afforded the opportunity to understand and be educated learn to have patience learn to teach~
My Son you will grow older and people will die, we all die, still live life to the fullest~
My Son when I die and you need me after I’m gone know that a part of me is always there in your heart and in your mind that energy never dies it only changes form and I will see you again one day~
My Son you’re the greatest gift in my life I’m sorry for the times I’ve fallen short know I did the best I knew how that I love you always you are my heart, you are my reason, You are my Son~
Not for Reproduction~NJM~
~So we accept the Presidential outcome, for now……..~
So we must accept the presidential outcome, for now…..
We are making history. Everyday since Donald Trump was elected there have been protest all across America… holding signs saying “Trump is not my president” Well actually he is, how unfortunate.. right? Yes it is.
In my years on this earth I have lived through racism, LGBT was term coined an acronym so to speak used to support those who are Lesbian,Gay, Bi sexual, Transgender back in early 90’s. We broke some barriers.. SOME being the key word.
Yet still no reform for those who have mental disabilities. Oh well my Bipolar mind will keep going and writing. speaking out Against a president that made fun of a disabled person. I have more knowledge and education in my little pinky than our president elect has in his whole body.Further more I have more Etiquette & Public Relations experience as well. However my disability limits my actions. Say it with me everyone “DISABILITY”.
I was impressed with Obama eight years ago. The fascination is over. However, I can still remember how hopeful I was when Obama got elected. Since then my life has been a yo yo. I’m no longer impressed with him or our nations political process.
I believed we would come together in the human race and allow inclusiveness not elite exclusives. We could come together, truly I believed that.
Politicians set stages to make promises not able to be carried out. So forth an on, and on, and on… you get the picture.
What blows me away is the division in our own country.
Where running for electoral office Is like playing on elementary school yard. You know what? Elementary school can’t touch this, it is felt all over the angst and fragility that has caused the divide. Here’s how it goes…..one candidate gets dirty information to discredit the others candidates whispering secrets to each other about what the other may have done, what kind of dirt they can find on the other candidate.
Basically they sling shit at each other….. aren’t we supposed to be civilized? No. we never were.
We are barbaric, wonder how many furs the First Lady owns…. hmmmm Anyhoo…
We chose to believe we were. Look around at the unrest and protest and it’s clear we are taking steps back, and have chosen an atrocious president(God be With Us).
So as I lay in bed half the day again since the election. Why? Depression. My illness. Looking at all of this division and unrest provokes my bipolar. Lately I am just mostly depressed. Oh you wouldn’t know it if you saw me in public, but you would know it if I could join in on the protest. I live in a semi enlightened area where flashing your rebel flag is seen often, a symbol of hate in my opinion. So if I protested I might get run over. Scarier still is my son is half black, each day he goes to a predominately white school where he has to hear more bullshit about how great Trump will be for president. Thank God he has a few teachers who agree with his opinion. His opinion? He wanted Hillary. He watched debates he understands disablement and racism. I rarely discussed who I wanted to win with him of the less of two evils. I wanted him to think for himself. He was shocked at America. He said he would protest too but he is only 13 and there are no protesters where we live.
People hating each other again, talks of taking away gay rights,
Racism is just a tad of it. Donald Trump should not be our president elect yet he is. It shows me how growth is an illusion, and that’s what makes me disillusioned.
Where is the America Land of the Free home of the brave including free speech and the right to protest ? I’ll tell you. Divided that’s where America is. What a shame. People judge, I judge. Everyone wants to be heard. We are caught in the gravity of this situation, as it sucks us ALL in.
A man that makes fun of disabled people. Who files bankruptcy for his advantage to just start anew and pass yet more debt onto the banks and judicial system….pushing the buck. …Hey by the way what does happen with all those right offs? Who eventually pays for large fuck ups like Trump who has filed bankruptcy numerous times over the last 3 decades over failed endeavors. Oh God will America be his next failed endeavor?
We now have model for a First Lady …. how will our young women feel when they can’t attain the status quo of outer beauty? After all first Lady’s are seen as a role model not an actual model for our young women. See she is just arm Candy for Trump.How will she set a tone for our up and coming professional women….. um that isn’t gonna happen under Trumps rain. Because this First Lady doesn’t have what it takes other than her looks.
So to conclude………………..
In my opinion…. and everyone has one just like an
Asshole… brace yourself we are under Trump regime.
May God be with us as a Godless man takes rule.
~Do You Believe? Have Faith~
I will not deny the existence of God
Nor will I accept the contention of men who seek to otherwise disprove the premise of my belief.
For it is the mystery of such that only faith will sustain the notions of God and faith. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. Hebrew 11:1”
But I see the obvious flaws within the doctrine. The blatant disregard to use logic and reason. And quite personally when it’s all said and done, it’s only you, you have to convince you. For all the contrary statements and text, it’s just plain and simple, believe as you want. But remember are we not contrary in our very existence being a human? And therein lies the flaw, and furthermore the perfection. The uniqueness.. Divine and sometimes cursed.
To be brief, no one should try to convince anyone. Be as you believe, and nothing less or more. In doing so your actions reveal your intent/belief/existence.
Let not your actions lack the very conviction of your words. Far far to many are quick to speak but are of null effect when carrying out said convictions.
Be an Example, pray others follow.
Try the agreements if nothing else has spoken to you spiritually. The four agreements.
These may not be in the correct order as I am going by memory alone.
- Try to do your best always.{your best may change from day to day just as circumstances do}
- Don’t assume. We all do, try not to……I have a hard time on this one.
- Be Immpeccable with your word. {basically don’t lie}
- Try not to take nothing personally. Very hard to achieve.
Try this. See if it gets you were you are trying to go. Good luck. God Speed. ~NJM~
Oh yeah have faith!
~Forgivness~Christianity~Divorce!
It is one thing to forgive, another to forget. Even more to forgive and forget and see actions of change needed yet never fulfilled. The important thing is not allowing it to happen again. Allowing the same actions to take place in ones life is complete stupidity and utter foolishness
Furthermore Beware of Charlatans and modern day glamour Christians who preach the gospel. Jesus’s didn’t need millions in his bank account and the finest of clothes, cars, and acquaintance. No, He dined with the homeless and was friends of those with less. In modern times a true Jesus would be in the ghetto not a multimillion dollar church. Beware even the bible speaks of those who shall rise and claim Christianity. False prophets who barely speak of tribulations and only of prosperity.
Divorce is as marriage two people unified or grown far apart. one goes this way the other that way, either way it took two.
1 and 1 make 2, there is no better half.
Bipolar Tapestry~Poetic Thoughts 