~Contemplating Courage~

Posted on by
Courage is looked upon in many ways.
A definition I ran across explained courage as this : the ability to do something that frightens one.
My personal definition of
Courage is not caring how others view you, to believe in you and the abilities you have to meet the outcomes you strategically planned without validation or others approval. Courage it’s how you believe.

Courage. Powerful will etched upon ones soul. The Need to express, to attain, to make, to conquer, to bring down, to uplift, without fear of the result but with courage to step out in faith and take that approach, the strategy festering in one’s mind, words spoken, thoughts into realization, dreams to make come true. How many ask “Oh precious courage may I find you?”

Are dreams always positive? Courage can be warped, read the first above definition…. “That frightens one” why is courage frightening?
Why? It’s unknown, not knowing the outcome.
Is intent always pure?
Is the reason of intent for gain or to release?
Was the courage you conjured up original?
Was that yours? Your thoughts, ideas or was it recycled desires of others?
Originality?
What denotes the lack of ones courage?
Cowards are we? Taking no chance, no reason to believe?
Believe in what? Yourself? God? Merely un seen intangible power that propels you closer to what you invested into this venture called life that changes you forever.
Why?
Courage. Are you willing to die? To submit? To let go? To hold on, strike first, be humble?
Can being humble be thought courageous?
Is not the servant very often just a master in disguise? Serving takes courage… As does proper leadership.
Is it not also true that which may seem frail and meek often furious when threatened? Courage or instinct can it be both?
Temperament, continence the way one is perceived by others, does courage always show a badge of honor, or at times the code of silence,  even further the sentence of death.
Can courage also weaken ones being if inability is found in attaining the outcome desired when you took the step of faith and acted in courage? Will it leave you bitter? Resentful?
Or did the failure of your lacking courage fuel the fire, giving yet more to desire? To attain? To never refrain.
The bitterest truth is always better than any of the sweetest lies in that courage won’t deny.
Courage is rooted in control
To not feel off kilt to gain the balance needed to execute with flawless precision that which you value.
Repeat… That which YOU value.
Do you have the courage it’s down to decision.
Was the decision you made the one that was right?
Will it be a path of least resistance? Hardly…mostly it will be the need to fight? Mostly. Not always.
It takes courage you see in how you live, to learn to let go, to often forgive.
That’s right. It takes courage to let go, to let God, Destiny, the powers that be take over your steering wheel and sit back wait to see, if the courage to give control to a greater force than you? To hold you up carry you through.
Many may think letting go is giving up. I think it to be otherwise. By nature the need to “even the score” seems an ongoing theme. Vengeance ..hmmmm. A vengeful heart is never free. Shackled by the need, to even the wrong. what wrong? Oh the wrong you felt done to you. I see.
We have wrongs that we endured.
Letting go takes courage. To not dwell. Be done, released of the spell.
However, If it’s about holding on and never letting go be ready you see for to battle you go.
Courage that causes least harm to conquer what’s right.
If one can live/love by that code then how beautiful it would be, I believe it may change the definition you see.
Is courage rooted in selfish wants or for the greater good. Is the latter the better? Is the first good?
Best left for fate to decide for somethings are not to be touched taken and surely not mistaken. Especially in pride.
Pride can cloud your courage you see
Pride can be the demise leading to a bitter end, leaving you with nothing not even a friend.
Take courage
Be strong
Draw in a deep breath
Stand up act even if the action is indeed non action. Have no fear for In that notion alone you bring courage near.
Be courageous. Learn discipline too. In that word denotes courage in you.
Let it spill over and be contagious. Want to know my personal definition of courage? Courage = Faith.
The question is what is your faith rooted in?
Now ask yourself and live it, That simple.
The courage to believe and still let go, and all the while deep inside to truly know.
Take Courage.
Not for Reproduction~

~My Son~

Posted on by

My Son life is gift and You are a gift to life~
My Son take care of yourself love yourself respect yourself and others will respect you~
My Son you will grow up and become a man never lose your inner child~
My Son you will win some and lose some don’t let the loss make you bitter but instead let it make you stronger~
My Son there is a God, we come from something bigger than us, give thanks and know God and angels watch over you~
My Son there will come a day that someone will let you down don’t lose your faith~
My Son there will be those who will lie about you, always do your best to tell the truth~
My Son you will fall in love one day remember love takes time to grow don’t jump in head first learn to understand each other to grow together~
My Son people say there is one great love in everyone’s life but remember that true love is immeasurable and to love alone is great~
My Son you will have many acquaintances and meet many people however you likely will have one true friend care for that friend and be there for them as I pray they will be there for you~
My Son you will meet many who are in need throughout your life do your best to be charitable learn to give~
My Son you will see many things in life that are unfair but do your best to not judge and know life eventually evens the score~
My Son you will come across others who are miserable and rude learn to be kind don’t take it personal be and example~
My Son don’t let other’s influence your thoughts learn to think for yourself~
My Son there will come a day where you will be afraid be brave and overcome~
My Son there will be those who will tell you are not good enough, know your value never sell yourself short~
My Son you will face the impossible in life don’t let it stop you , every dream can become a reality strive and press on and always do your best make your dreams come true I have faith in you~
My Son be different don’t conform stand out from the rest, stand tall, stand proud~
My Son there will be times in life to be humble, learn from this, understand this, grow from this~
My Son you can not save the world but you can make your area of the world a better place, care for mother earth the beautiful animals and those who have less than you, respect what you have been given take care of what is given you and greater things will come your way~
My Son not everyone is afforded the opportunity to understand and be educated learn to have patience learn to teach~
My Son you will grow older and people will die, we all die, still live life to the fullest~
My Son when I die and you need me after I’m gone know that a part of me is always there in your heart and in your mind that energy never dies it only changes form and I will see you again one day~
My Son you’re the greatest gift in my life I’m sorry for the times I’ve fallen short know I did the best I knew how that I love you always you are my heart, you are my reason, You are my Son~
Not for Reproduction~NJM~

 ~So we accept the Presidential outcome, for now……..~

Posted on by

So we must accept the presidential outcome, for now….. 
We are making history. Everyday since Donald Trump was elected there have been protest all across America… holding signs saying “Trump is not my president” Well actually he is, how unfortunate.. right? Yes it is.

In my years on this earth I have lived through racism, LGBT was term coined an acronym so to speak used to support those who are Lesbian,Gay, Bi sexual, Transgender back in early 90’s. We broke some barriers.. SOME being the key word.
Yet still no reform for those who have mental disabilities. Oh well my Bipolar mind will keep going and writing. speaking out Against a president that made fun of a disabled person. I have more knowledge and education in my little pinky than our president elect has in his whole body.Further more I have more Etiquette & Public Relations experience as well. However my disability limits my actions. Say it with me everyone “DISABILITY”.
I was impressed with Obama eight years ago. The fascination is over. However, I can still remember how hopeful I was when Obama got elected. Since then my life has been a yo yo. I’m no longer impressed with him or our nations political process.
I believed we would come together in the human race and allow inclusiveness not elite exclusives. We could come together, truly I believed that.
Politicians set stages to make promises not able to be carried out. So forth an on, and on, and on… you get the picture.
What blows me away is the division in our own country.

Where running for electoral office Is like playing on elementary school yard. You know what? Elementary school can’t touch this, it is felt all over the angst and fragility that has caused the divide. Here’s how it goes…..one candidate gets dirty information to discredit the others candidates whispering secrets to each other about what the other may have done, what kind of dirt they can find on the other candidate.
Basically they sling shit at each other….. aren’t we supposed to be civilized? No. we never were.

We are barbaric, wonder how many furs the First Lady owns…. hmmmm Anyhoo…

We chose to believe we were. Look around at the unrest and protest and it’s clear we are taking steps back, and have chosen an atrocious president(God be With Us).
So as I lay in bed half the day again since the election. Why? Depression. My illness. Looking at all of this division and unrest provokes my bipolar. Lately I am just mostly depressed. Oh you wouldn’t know it if you saw me in public, but you would know it if I could join in on the protest. I live in a semi enlightened area where flashing your rebel flag is seen often, a symbol of hate in my opinion. So if I protested I might get run over. Scarier still is my son is half black, each day he goes to a predominately white school where he has to hear more bullshit about how great Trump will be for president. Thank God he has a few teachers who agree with his opinion. His opinion? He wanted Hillary. He watched debates he understands disablement and racism. I rarely discussed who I wanted to win with him of the less of two evils. I wanted him to think for himself. He was shocked at America. He said he would protest too but he is only 13 and there are no protesters where we live.
People hating each other again, talks of taking away gay rights,

Racism is just a tad of it. Donald Trump should not be our president elect yet he is. It shows me how growth is an illusion, and that’s what makes me disillusioned. 
Where is the America Land of the Free home of the brave including free speech and the right to protest ? I’ll tell you. Divided that’s where America is. What a shame. People judge, I judge. Everyone wants to be heard. We are caught in the gravity of this situation, as it sucks us ALL in.
A man that makes fun of disabled people. Who files bankruptcy for his advantage to just start anew and pass yet more debt onto the banks and judicial system….pushing the buck. …Hey by the way what does happen with all those right offs? Who eventually pays for large fuck ups like Trump who has filed bankruptcy numerous times over the last 3 decades over failed endeavors. Oh God will America be his next failed endeavor?

We now have model for a First Lady …. how will our young women feel when they can’t attain the status quo of outer beauty? After all first Lady’s are seen as a role model not an actual model for our young women. See she is just arm Candy for Trump.How will she set a tone for our up and coming professional women….. um that isn’t gonna happen under Trumps rain. Because this First Lady doesn’t have what it takes other than her looks.
So to conclude………………..

In my opinion…. and everyone has one just like an

Asshole… brace yourself we are under Trump regime.
May God be with us as a Godless man takes rule.

~Do You Believe? Have Faith~

Posted on by

I will not deny the existence of God
Nor will I accept the contention of men who seek to otherwise disprove the premise of my belief.

For it is the mystery of such that only faith will sustain the notions of God and faith. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. Hebrew 11:1”

But I see the obvious flaws within the doctrine. The blatant disregard to use logic and reason. And quite personally when it’s all said and done, it’s only you, you have to convince you. For all the contrary statements and text, it’s just plain and simple, believe as you want. But remember are we not contrary in our very existence being a human? And therein lies the flaw, and furthermore the perfection. The uniqueness.. Divine and sometimes cursed.

To be brief, no one should try to convince anyone. Be as you believe, and nothing less or more. In doing so your actions reveal your intent/belief/existence.
Let not your actions lack the very conviction of your words. Far far to many are quick to speak but are of null effect when carrying out said convictions.

Be an Example, pray others follow.

Try the agreements if nothing else has spoken to you spiritually. The four agreements.

These may not be in the correct order as I am going by memory alone.

  1. Try to do your best always.{your best may change from day to day just as circumstances do}
  2. Don’t assume. We all do, try not to……I have a hard time on this one.
  3. Be Immpeccable with your word. {basically don’t lie}
  4. Try not to take nothing personally. Very hard to achieve.

Try this. See if it gets you were you are trying to go. Good luck. God Speed. ~NJM~

Oh yeah have faith!

 

~Bipolar Thoughts~NJM Come On Protesters!~ 

Posted on by

Is this your last best chance?Are you gonna take it?

Or are you going to the grave with unlived lives in your veins?

~Movie Quotes~ NJM~

Posted on by

What are you afraid of? Calm. Before the storm? The storm I can weather.That calm, it gets you everytime.

~Hatreds Whore Part 1~Part 2~Epilogue~

Posted on by

~Hatreds Whore~

The subtle trapping of the flesh
Does eat the soul alive…
The folly of words that spin the web
Leaving strife and lies.
The subtle desensitizing of the mind
Eating way at the cells misfiring
Does the spirit still dwell even against its contrary morals?
Against the angst and frailty of justice?
And doth contempt churn within,
As disconcerting as before the subtle lies of hatreds whore?

 

~Hatreds Whore Part~2~

You crazy fool you think you have yet again advanced your position in this life?
Coddled entitlement chokes you and leads you ignorantly through the trenches you walk daily… Believing your own demented truths!
And does your existence prove to be so profitable?
Does your opinion truly count?
Or does thy soul eat away
The core of your spirit that
Dances idly alone through clouded dreams pass the Laws of men  smothered by society’s brew eats the meat and flesh of your bones, your life and lies doth slowly chew, and spew…… You out… Spit forth
Leftovers are all  you are fool, and to think you  never knew !
And does thy soul magnify and convey the torment ?
Or do you smile, all the while eating lies up like a child?

~Epilogue to Hatreds Whore~

The Will of youth is fading
Hinged between realm’s of grey, black, white…..wrong, right smeared dripping, bleeding into each other~
Not yet divided by age ……definitely, to young to be old, to old to be young.
Seemingly timeless, don’t we wish to believe~

Thy will was strong, Ah Thy youth vigorous! Consuming, Passionate……..Yet time upon earth has broken the will of your youth, tainted, choked the spirit of your present condition once shared Devine connection….. Suffocating in a conformist fashion…Pre-made a template duplicated…. Scorned…even Hated~

Strange strengths unknown alive yet Lacking discipline~Ominous thoughts scatter about
Eating around the skirted Subjects best left secret, leaving no clue~

Unmastered skill yielding strength
imparting ability to carry forth much more intense tasks yet to be finished with flawless execution, instead drained by surrounding energies pertaining to tasks, trying times, ever smudging smearing lines~

Visions inspired by God… That great cosmic master have wiped the slate of prophecy clean~
Over exposure to environment wiped the mind void …..trying to distinguish which voice……… which vision was God, or Demons now lurking in corners, and shadows awaiting moments of weakness to torment thoughts, your soul.
Mute Divinity the Holy Spirit once directing every step, every action of times long lost…… Lost long before this present condition, this meager existence.

Doth this evil that exist supersede the once enveloping presence man thought God to be?
Those philosophical longings… Greater questions lingering, longing for answers……
Has exposure edified the presence of human thought upon God, as deceitful, longing to have control?

Does thought of a Godless world Condemn us swiftly without Regarded thought?
Without belief in tact?
Skeptics … Dare we be?
Ah we must! Indeed.

It’s down to science to fact…..Facts often proven failures later due to fallacy, policy, ignorance believing that the mysteries of the unseen, angels, demons the Supreme One are false?
Indeed subjective.
Your Experience prevails or does it Lack?

Has doubt allowed hate to negate….contradicting lies, sealing history’s fate? Squeezing the life out, draining needs of things considered holy, Devine, to seemingly cease?
Or does it thrive within you alive?

Hatred you whore, you demonic thief… Reeking havoc destruction and grief, yet easily graceful, alluring, enticing to beseech, even more so to easily reach~

Insidious belief difference divides
opposes thought……,action with deceit, malice, subtle thief….. whore, that hate, Trying to cloud human fate….
Venomous rage, collected, captured shackled in a cage
Scorned trifling rage
Hate… You whore
Ever present searching for more~
Hating today as much as yesterday maybe a little more….
Thus my name is Hatreds Whore~

Not For Reproduction~