~Do You Believe? Have Faith~

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I will not deny the existence of God
Nor will I accept the contention of men who seek to otherwise disprove the premise of my belief.

For it is the mystery of such that only faith will sustain the notions of God and faith. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. Hebrew 11:1”

But I see the obvious flaws within the doctrine. The blatant disregard to use logic and reason. And quite personally when it’s all said and done, it’s only you, you have to convince you. For all the contrary statements and text, it’s just plain and simple, believe as you want. But remember are we not contrary in our very existence being a human? And therein lies the flaw, and furthermore the perfection. The uniqueness.. Divine and sometimes cursed.

To be brief, no one should try to convince anyone. Be as you believe, and nothing less or more. In doing so your actions reveal your intent/belief/existence.
Let not your actions lack the very conviction of your words. Far far to many are quick to speak but are of null effect when carrying out said convictions.

Be an Example, pray others follow.

Try the agreements if nothing else has spoken to you spiritually. The four agreements.

These may not be in the correct order as I am going by memory alone.

  1. Try to do your best always.{your best may change from day to day just as circumstances do}
  2. Don’t assume. We all do, try not to……I have a hard time on this one.
  3. Be Immpeccable with your word. {basically don’t lie}
  4. Try not to take nothing personally. Very hard to achieve.

Try this. See if it gets you were you are trying to go. Good luck. God Speed. ~NJM~

Oh yeah have faith!

 

~Life’s Amazing Victories ~Great Read~Inspirational~

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It’s hard when I don’t have the beauty around me, even more so to have such, yet unappreciated~

This soul is half wilted like flowers sent two weeks ago, in a vase of greenish moldy water… Against my soul I thrive and only make life harder~

There is a fight within that is slowly fading…. The light is dim, glib, hallow
This life is a bitter pill and often insipid and hard to swallow~

These expressions, these words, I write… outside, inside and deep within.. I’m trying to win, but seemingly losing this fight~

But a subtle grace around me waits … Like angels whisper deep embrace to remind that life is not a race… And often times these troubles face……..with weakness…. Will slowly build my strength…and not to fight a dirty fight, not go to any length to win~

But allow this circumstance to yield the beauty still yet but revealed..
Whispers loudly grow a voice, to always remember there is a choice~

Gallantly stand straight and tall, that in this life you’re gonna fall, but that’s not all… That fall……no you see, ahead there awaits a victory.

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~Bipolar Thoughts~NJM Come On Protesters!~ 

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Is this your last best chance?Are you gonna take it?

Or are you going to the grave with unlived lives in your veins?

Bipolar~The Maze~

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Below is a question posed by a user via Quora.com The Question is “How to explain Bipolar Disorder to someone else?” I did paraphrase by the way, Hope my answer helps,

First What is your angle? Why do you feel the need?

Are you an advocate for the understanding and compassion for those who suffer mental illness?

 

 

I ask because you may not want to explain it at all.
What is the purpose? Everyone in one way or another has some form of mental health issue in my opinion.
You feel you need to be understood? We all want to be understood.
Here is how you can explain perhaps how you may feel……. I say this because I feel this way and it’s a great analogy.

Continue reading →

~Bipolar Thoughts & Stuff~Quotes by ~NJM~

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~It all made sense when all sense was lost, I’ve been better ever since~
~Always watching without action makes things you find fascinating fade away~NJM~

Question Asked Via My Quora Blog About Bipolar Disorder~

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Nicole MoncadaNicole Moncada, Bachelor’s in Psychology I am Bipolar… 
You are 13 yrs old. So so many times I see many young teens believe they are afflicted with the genetic predisposition of their fathers mothers, brothers, uncles… So forth.
Here is the thing. You’re at an age of change, great change. Your body, hormones, and formidable yrs are around you. Your moods are going to be like night and day. Your moving from adolescence to a teen into adulthood.

I wish more psychologist and medical professions would keep all this in mind when trying to give a definitive diagnosis.

See I’m bipolar 1. If I were to compare it to cancer I would have “terminal incurable worst of them all” cancer.

But was I always bipolar? Hmmm Somewhere there was a trait, both of my parents suffered mental illness. It ran in the family. But the bigger question is”do all family members become affected because the others did?” The answer is No.

Yes your cards have not been kindly dealt to you. However I lived a pretty exciting and successful life after some heavy drug use in my teens, not to mention getting married at age 14. Yes married, no children, not during that marriage.

Here is the deal. Give yourself time to grow up and feel this things out a bit. Granted I’m not a full on psychologist. I do hold a bachelor’s degree in psychology. I also suffer bipolar 1.

My life has been full of ups and downs. You know what? The most impoartnant thing is I land on my feet. I’ve lost it all a few times, gained it back and lost again.

I won’t give up. Never! I advocate for the education of mental health awareness, for the stigma to be broken, and acceptence and compassion to be imparted instead of ignorance most in the society we live in.

Albeit I am not in a position to diagnose. A psychiatrist who would asses you, and properly administer needed medications. Again a psychiatrist, not a psychologist.

A psychologist will work with those who are diagnosed… More of a therapist. A complete psychological exam can also be used and administered by a Dr of Psychologist. These take hours and cost between 400$ to 1200$ dollars here in Florida where I live.

A psychiatrist can make a determination in a 45 minute exam as opposed to a 4 to 6 hour psychological evaluation.

Here is the simple answer. Wait a bit. I went until age 40 before I was diagnosed. I was diagnosed with clinical depression at 29.

The illness changes forms. But once you get the stage I’m in,it’s perminant. Basically all mental illness is permanent. Just remember the degree by which you are affected by it varies from time to time.

In society today we are too quicke to give labels to everything. I think we have to many classifications of illness bipolar being one. It has bipolar 1,2,3 and now a 4 with what supposed to be cyclothymia!

I call bullshit on all of them except 1 and 2.

The others were created for professionals to not feel so bad or afflicted by simply being damn well bipolar! Again this is why I speak out and am not afraid of my illness. I use it to educate. In fact I see it as a blessing more than a curse.

You are going through to much at the age of 13 developmentally. If you really really just feel like you want to kill yourself, or simply just can’t get out of bed at all…. Then head to the doctors.

Otherwise my opinion is you’re just growing up at an age of great change, influence, ideas…. Becoming the adult you want to be and are meant to be. If I were you I’d wait and see…. You may be someone like I was living awhile without full blown symptoms. Having some pretty awesome success and fun times.

Or you could be bipolar. Only way to know, go see you’re doctor and have them refer you to a specialist who is either a psychiatrist or a PHd psychologist.

Only a psychiatrist can prescribe medications for the condition.

I’m gonna leave you with words my psychiatrist recently left me with at my last visit… He said “Nicole, I want you on the least amount of meds possible”… I’ve had 3 full blown manic episodes. Most psychiatrist would insist I take an antipsychotic drug with my mood stabilizer. However I do not. Why? Many reasons. 1 there are huge amounts of side affects in regard to all antipsychotic meds. I’ve gained 35 pounds that I can’t lose and I’ve tried.

I’ve delevoloped metabolic X due to serquel and other antipsychotics. My eyesight is not good either.

It took awhile to find the right doctor/psychiatrist but I did… He is the best!

I only take Lamictal it’s a mood stabilizer.

You’re just too young!
But I can only offer you my experience and advice.

Private message me if you need further answers.

Good luck, God bless, Stay well!
NJM~

 

~Please Read if Bipolar and comment if you feel this way, Please~

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Am I a poetic tragedy in living form Fumbling around this earth

I’d rather be dead than be a cliche or martyr

Self deprecating is getting worn thin

Problem no courage no action taken

To exit

But instead I live on a roller coaster 

For all the faith and love in the world can’t console me

Yet I know love exist for some 

Enough to sustain

God watches me

But intervention upon Gods part

Is tricky and random

Consistency is needed

Daily lacking

Am I alone?

Isolated by illness

Lacking the love necessary 

I’m sorry I’d just rather die~

~My Son~Happy 13th Birthday!!! 

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My Son life is gift and You are a gift to life~

My Son take care of yourself love yourself respect yourself and others will respect you~

My Son you will grow up and become a man never lose your inner child~

My Son you will win some and lose some don’t let the loss make you bitter but instead let it make you stronger~

My Son there is a God, we come from something bigger than us, give thanks and know God and angels watch over you~

My Son there will come a day that someone will let you down don’t lose your faith~

My Son there will be those who will lie about you, always do your best to tell the truth~

My Son you will fall in love one day remember love takes time to grow don’t jump in head first learn to understand each other to grow together~

My Son people say there is one great love in everyone’s life but remember that true love is immeasurable and to love alone is great~

My Son you will have many acquaintances and meet many people however you likely will have one true friend care for that friend and be there for them as I pray they will be there for you~

My Son you will meet many who are in need throughout your life do your best to be charitable learn to give~

My Son you will see many things in life that are unfair but do your best to not judge and know life eventually evens the score~

My Son you will come across others who are miserable and rude learn to be kind don’t take it personal be and example~

My Son don’t let other’s influence your thoughts learn to think for yourself~

My Son there will come a day where you will be afraid be brave and overcome~

My Son there will be those who will tell you are not good enough, know your value never sell yourself short~

My Son you will face the impossible in life don’t let it stop you , every dream can become a reality strive and press on and always do your best make your dreams come true I have faith in you~

My Son be different don’t conform stand out from the rest, stand tall, stand proud~

My Son there will be times in life to be humble, learn from this, understand this, grow from this~

My Son you can not save the world but you can make your area of the world a better place, care for mother earth the beautiful animals and those who have less than you, respect what you have been given take care of what is given you and greater things will come your way~

My Son not everyone is afforded the opportunity to understand and be educated learn to have patience learn to teach~

My Son you will grow older and people will die, we all die, still live life to the fullest~

My Son when I die and you need me after I’m gone know that a part of me is always there in your heart and in your mind that energy never dies it only changes form and I will see you again one day~

My Son you’re the greatest gift in my life I’m sorry for the times I’ve fallen short know I did the best I knew how that I love you always you are my heart, you are my reason, You are my Son~

Not for Reproduction~NJM~

~Living With Bipolar 1~NJM~ The Maze~

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I am the lab rat. I am in a maze. There is no way to ever solve the maze as of yet.I can move from front to back, left to right, but the outcome is always gonna be the same redundant cycle.

I’ll never exit the maze. There are beautiful parts in the maze, scary parts, agitated parts, renovated parts, crazy parts, serine parts, but all those areas have no exit out.
Every person experiences the illness a bit different.

Treatment of the disorder is a must in order to live productively
It’s been bittersweet. I have been through many stages of the illness and 4 manic attack each triggered by extreme stress.
I also picked myself up and learned to live through my divorce and custody struggle.
I don’t trust many people but I do not isolate myself as I once did as I used to.
I have a part time job that deals with the public.
It’s like a roller coaster ride. Or surfing. You roll with the tides, and learn each time.
It’s pride I actually feel now, but must stay humble. I advocate for the stigma of bipolar to diminishes and begin to accept and love what has been mistunderstood for far to long. We have tackled openly everything except mental illness. Many people have some type of mental illness.
I’ll tell you this, through prayer and creativity, God, and my beautiful Son, I like me.

I’m ok with me.
Bottom line it’s not bad at this point of my life.
Thank God~

~The difference between Bipolar & Schizophrenia~

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By symptoms alone is there any relation. One is a mood disorder = Bilolar Disorder.Schizophrenia is a psychotic disorder.

People who have bipolar tend to seem schizophrenic when manic.

Mania only mimics schizophrenia.

The two are still very different.

Schizophrenia does not come in cycles and it also has issues with constant voices sometimes hallucinations, and a skewed touch of what is reality.

Both illness can be treated and those with the illness can lead a good life with a strong support system and meds.