If Physical Illness was treated like Mental illness, it would be looked at differently.
Category Archives: Autism
~Side Effects~
Disconcerting…..Detached
Colors outside the lines
Blurry…..
This particular emotion is completely lacking…..
Lacking cohesive qualities
It’s unravelling
And the edges keep getting stuck in the door
At its most severe case it’s completely unsettling…..
And it’s weakest
Subtle anxiety
Dry mouth
Like sand mixed with cotton
Anesthetized
Clinical white
In this sterile environment
I’ll await my next dosage
Hands heavy laden
Cracked around the edges
Layered with side effects~
Not for Reproduction~
~Stigma~
Smeared dullness
Catatonic stare
That’s what they think
Washed out color
Long halls painted grey
Not a door insight
Ideas out of focus
Stifling, confusing
Lack luster, incredulous
emotions …….Clawing away the life fingers scraping their nails jagged and bloody, threads unravelling.. like the sound of a chalk board being scratched.
That’s what stigma, bias does isolates you.
Yet I exist Wrapped inside this cocoon~
Generic and uncategorized yet longing to be labeled and in a category ~ oh wait, I am… I fall under stigma mental illness under my skin, unseen yet relentless in my mind there are millions of my kind.
One size fits all as long as that size is extra large as to swallow my frame,as well as yours.
Swallowing my existence whole~
Preferably invisible~
Left unseen~
To myself~
Designated ~
As is~NJM
~Stigma~
Smeared dullness
Catatonic stare
That’s what they think
Washed out color
Long halls painted grey
Not a door insight
Ideas out of focus
Stifling, confusing
Lack luster, incredulous
emotions …….Clawing away the life fingers scraping their nails jagged and bloody, threads unravelling.. like the sound of a chalk board being scratched.
That’s what stigma, bias does isolates you.
Yet I exist Wrapped inside this cocoon~
Generic and uncategorized yet longing to be labeled and in a category ~ oh wait, I am… I fall under stigma mental illness under my skin, unseen yet relentless in my mind there are millions of my kind.
One size fits all as long as that size is extra large as to swallow my frame,as well as yours.
Swallowing my existence whole~
Preferably invisible~
Left unseen~
To myself~
Designated ~
As is~NJM
~Bipolar Thoughts~Poetry~NJM~
Words pour out spinning in my mind
Gravity for these thoughts often impossible to find.
Subject to subject whirl in my head
Concentration is gone dead. Interruption easy I’ll spit it out quick, why? Because my thoughts are amazing more important than yours screw all these rules and your feelings too I simply lack a filter….apology not happening well later perhaps after yet more thought
What a price to be reckoned with it must be bought!
Jumping through constellations and flying past stars, the energy I feel could jet me to Mars. Hypomanic confidence seeps right on pass I’m certain if you don’t know me you would think me an ass.
Polarity at its finest as I try to refine, but all these thoughts and these feeling might leave me behind. Cohesive qualities try to keep me in tact but it is what it is this is a fact.
Would it be so horrible to just be this or stay that, well I must tell you I’d feel rather flat. I can never just be this or be that I am what I am a wonderment of confusion, I’ll make you see a flip side, leave you disillusioned.
It’s not that I’m trying to get in your head, see I’m already there you may think not, but I can spit out your words first seep in your mind and the words that escape you somehow I find.
Gone is Sunday’s Rest~
There was a time where time did move slowly calculated differently~
Humble beginning
From brutal wars~
We all bare the scars
Of our history of all wars
Fought~
A time where God was revered
A time where many feared~
Then some stood up
Spoke a strong truth
An uprising inspired by the youth
That day~
Conflict contained?
No. Look around foolishly we believe yet in lies~
Sadly we eat what they feed us eagerly~
Children of all the times never truly protected~
Further more the Poor, hungry, homeless, rejected, neglected~
A time where stores closed on Sunday’s the world did rest on that day, in honor of the Lord, the very notion that sparked all wars~
Quiet was heard on Sunday
Like a Christmas holiday
Quiet energy radiating as all took rest, refuge around the dinner table~
Then Machines gave rise through men’s eyes
Able computers doing what hands had been hired
In this many jobs lost, people fired~
Clogging up lives, red tape causing rape, news travels at unbeatable rates, instantly communicate~
Cops get away with murder and rape of people and youth, twisted all the stories turning lies into truth,What of protection? ah yes a broken connection~
There was a time where families gathered, and looked past the insanity of each other, embracing brother, mother, sister, father
Tolerance replaced by intolerance~
A time where children were quietly abused
Now children are loudly treated as adults they are often used, for fill ins, mind games, stolen, runaways, used for porn and sickness of men
Times has it changed much then?~
From beatings by hands of a Mom or a Dad oh the children cry out, so sad
You’re that child still, you, me
But we chose to forget, not see~
Time it changes~
It echos impervious
Yet alters, leaving illusions, confusion~
Population out of control
Not enough can go around
People subdued no rising up
Cloned, drones marching onward without a sound~
Revolutions things of the past
Time long gone
Machines compute making our voice mute
Just a text~
Busy busy on the go
Did you know, we once rested on Sunday?
Time handled carefully, treasured and indeed measured by standards long lost
Human race you did not count the cost?~
Insanity is cool, disorders separate, labels everywhere often causing hate
War we still are, that is we are at war
Not winning, not by far~
Comfortably some sit, afforded the bliss of ignorance~
Could they be the ones who could bring about difference?
Won’t know, complacency rules
No not one can be used as needed for tools~
Time once moved slowly
Sunday’s we took rest,
Personally think it best~
Time not captured but in a memory
Believe we should take rest~
Mixture of times both then and now
Mingling to concoct a recipe
To level, even it out~
Would a revolution shout out bring about needed change?
All lives rearranged~
We used to rest and revered Sunday’s~
Quiet as a holiday where energy is mellow and slow, resting peacefully on that day, we all stopped at once~
There was a time
But it’s gone~
~The Art of Being Sorry in 4 Simple Steps~
The art of sorry in 4 easy steps…….
For the majority of us being sorry is something we often feel when we do something wrong. We often forget is that when we truly are sorry and we apologize to the other person with whom we done wrong too we open ourselves up for hurt.
Feeling regret or remorse or sorry is an emotion that humans feel after doing something against their lack of better judgment or against their values or morals…..basically in any circumstances that they should’ve acted differently in.
Previously I stated you open yourself up for hurt when you truly are sorry, you then proceed to tell the person with whom you have wronged that hey “I’m sorry truly sorry”
What happens when you are sorry 1. You say it and 2. Mean it and 3. Leave yourself open to the persons response there are no “but’s” or “Could’s” or “Should’s” or Would’s” 4. There is but one single statement” I am sorry” that is all that should come out of your mouth. Next you should prepare yourself to receive whatever the other person Has to say in response to your contriteness silently listening without excuses.
Lately it appears or so it seems that the majority of relationships that I engage in are all one sided. This makes for a lonely existence. Unfortunately however alone it may feel I am learning that it is necessary to limit those around you who continuously make excuses or are master manipulators at trying to always turn everything into their “reasons for” never truly being sorry , only wanting to explain why they did what they did… see that is not sorry, Or at least where I come from that’s not what I was taught.
So to recap…..don’t ever say that you were sorry unless it is the only three words that you were going to say to the person you wronged,there is no excuse for whatever you’re sorry for that’s why it’s called being sorry….So there it is 4 simple steps to the Art of truly being sorry.
Politics of Mental Illness~
Let’s establish a platform for what I’m about to address. Politics is a good place. Below is a general description of what politics mean.
Politics=
Activities associated with the governance of a country or other area, especially the debate or conflict among individuals or parties having or hoping to achieve power.
I work with others, I stand with others, I promote with others, I believe with others, I fight with others, I dream with other of a day where I no longer must address issue’s such as what I am about to do in this post. Notice all I do with others, notice that I’m part of the collective of “others” like myself.
I try very diligently to educate and facilitate the changes needed to break mental health stigma. You know…. let’s move outside a little more, let’s be inclusive and break all stigma right? Wrong.
Perhaps I’m a bit more skeptical these days. Perhaps it’s cause I’ve invested my time effort that has compelled me to write this.
A question if I may, to provoke a thought process. Can you tell who suffers mental illness by looking at them? In some cases you can, but in 85% you can not.
The 15% are those hospitalized. Or have apparent visual aspects of said mental illness publicly.
I’m gonna ask another question. Why do we suffer, and further why do we suffer alone? Why do we have to go into full explanation of a disability at all? Seen or not seen?
Because it’s the politics of this subject, the debate, the fact that most anyone who is seemingly normal outside yet will act upon psychopathic behavior, killing, raping….these people fall under mentally ill, obviously they are missing a piece of something, and in most cases it’s the mind.
It’s because crimes that are related in violence and killings also relates to mental illness. There, there is the elephant it’s out the closet.
So now what do we do? There is only one thing to do, fight for the right of individuality of each other and our illness. Educate inform. But DO NOT let others generalize you in the umbrella of fear, fear and ignorance.
Further I want expound that bipolar and Schizophrenia are feared most by the public than other illness.
Depression is something that connects us all at one point in our lives, in fact, it’s the only mental illness I know that can cancel out. Meaning, when tragedy strikes we withdraw and get depressed however it may leave and never manifest again until another event that invokes depression. I say cancels out, because EVERYONE has been depressed or BLUE.
Not everyone has bipolar…… I think. Sometimes I question that. We are all dual. Double edged. ANYONE can be pushed to limits they may have never imagined, and incur a break from reality.
So the next time you look at someone next to you and you feel all comfy and normal as do they because what they perceive around them visually seems well, remember nothing is truly ever as it seems.
And to expound further, it’s never the ones you would have guessed.
However if only fear and ignorance was replaced by understanding and a willingness to help end stigma end, the politics of the subject at hand would cease.
Further I have witnessed that the ones you fear, are usually the ones who help in the end, and the one you think helps is still feeling superior in their mind, that there normal. Ha.
Can you define normal? Is it the majority? Sorry you will never understand the entire magnitude of normal. It’s just not normal to politically do so, and that my dear reader is the politics of mental illness.
“Overcoming the Overwhelming “ Can it be done?
Can you overcome being overwhelmed. furthermore…. can it be achieved for extended periods of time?perhaps always attainable? In my experience often times the only way to overcome the feeling of being overwhelmed has been to medicate. Right now instead I’m choosing to sit on the dock by the lake listening to the tide.But what is it that helps us feel more relaxed feel less stress have a sense of purpose that everything is OK? Where is the first place that you look? And when you look what is it that you find? And exactly where is it that you’re looking? Is it to God? Is it in a book? Can you find it in another person? Or is it always gonna have to be that pill?
See not only the mentally ill get overwhelmed sadly enough most of society is medicated……As it is most of society is definitely overwhelmed. Can we truly ever live in a state of peace honestly? And if we achieve it how long does it last? Suppose that’s the question that begs the answer. Can one overcome feeling overwhelmed? If you find the answer please contact me I’m dying to find out……literally
How can you respond to someone who is acting bipolar to help them get out of their episode? I don’t even know what to call episode. Basically where they are abusive, negative and angry all the time.
First of all how do you even know for sure that it is bipolar?
Everyone has different realities and perceptions.
The anger well did you let this person down in any way?
See anger comes from being let down. I know. When someone wrongs me I get very angry. I can rip them to threads if need be.
So there is no answer to this question that would constitute a useful suggestion.
If you don’t know what to call it?
Because there is nothing to call perhaps you may need to talk with someone yourself about this troubling situation.
I can tell you therapy and a support system with friend helps a bunch.
But yeah…..if you feel this strongly and don’t know what to call it I advise you to get Therapy as well. Good luck God bless
Bipolar Tapestry~Poetic Thoughts 