~Learning the Hard Way~Pain~

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Drowning in your watered down words~in the sea of suspicions and doubt~
Stunned by your actions your lack of regard reverberates … Breaking sound barriers~
Best let it rest, no it’s not a test, most walked away its was for the best~
My illness is amplified by stress and assholes~
The very stress that assholes like you cause~
Separating myself from this realm

Of reality and dynamics shifting

On a ocean-less drift of emotion~
Cut paper thin then ripped from my personal thoughts not to be written yet spoken~
All that ever was now is broken, is that your beautiful trinket the parts of me you’ve stolen?~
I want it back, I intend to retrieve all you’ve taken I pray now I’ll receive and retrieve… at this particular time of my life it’s time to leave~
If I ever return I’ll know next time not to get burned… In the past trust I had to learn~

~Life’s Blossom~

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Like a flower unfolding
Slowly without notice
The blossom full bloom

Was always there the flower
Blossom full bloom
Like a firecracker released into the sky suspended

Gentle and soft petals drip rain
The foreboding rain of life’s cruelty
Flower of earth,color, so beautiful

Picked and trimmed and put aside in a vase. Time is short now life can sustain only when grounded to earth

Picked trimmed put aside as a spectacle, of beauty, fragility, and untimely death, death is never timely
But is inevitable…..

Wilting as each day brings to a close the mortality the death of something so amazing and beautiful~

Not For Reproduction~

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~Serendipity~

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Memories cloaked
Never leaving
Distance did reveal the approach of a storm
Darkness of night was the sky by day
Cold water did touch the toes
The lucidity clarity so blue
Diving in against current without fear of danger.
Into depths unknown
This storm won’t reach out and oppose her
Not again
Others it approaches
Eyes transfixed
Looking away lacked ability
Disconcerting
Like a prophetic story unfolding
In peace
She watched
Unraveling Technology
Technically never ahead of her
Just felt
The knowing
Burning in her belly
Steel running down her back
The most fearsome creature to walk the earth
In the distance
The sound of explosions like fireworks
Crackled
A whisper escaped her lips but was never heard
But by few
Lays a rose
Forming irony
Into Serendipity~
Not For Reproduction~

~Short Important Words of Advice~

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No one likes rejection. After so many times it’s hard to take. Then you finally say enough~

No one wants to be made fun of because they love. Laughed at because they’re different.

No one likes to be teased makes the other person leave~

No one wants to really say goodbye sometimes though you have to try~

No one wants to fool themselves they don’t want to play the fool for the entertainment of those who just hurt~

Love me, or Don’t but stop dragging my heart around~

This was indeed a mystery….

~What, This Love?~

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There is a sadness that runs so deep

Out my pours it begins to seep

Little pools of vomit from the little holes

It started today

Again you turned my love away

What do I do with this love

I know it is true

But where do I keep it

I have not a clue.

I stayed up late my usual routine

Arose at 11

I never rolled a lucky 7

Snake eyes is my true roll

I seem to gamble with my soul

What do I do with this love

Tuck it away

The edges slip out

Jagged torn

I pray dear God why was I born?

Maybe I’m feeling you like I often do

Maybe you’re Sad and without a clue.

What do I do with the love meant only for you

When you turn me away

Telling me to let you go

You say ~Darlin you need to let me go, I’m not good for you~

How the fuck can you know, you think you are gifted with insight from some realm

Some unseen sight

You can’t truly be sure

Our love just might….

Survive in the place i prepared just for us

But my sadness pours out of my pours like puss

Please stop all this shit

The guise the game

For once in your life make a true change

I’m trying to work on my book

And my article post

Instead I hear my heart let it go

What do I do with the pain of rejection all my life

I never said take me as your wife

Just be there in the place I made just for two

That place I prepared for me and for you.

Do you love me too?

I’m impetuous and cruel

Act play a fool

When you turn me away

I didn’t ask for much

Just that you stay.

Is it because you can’t forgive yourself from the past

How you hurt me so

I lashed out then ran fast

Why is it I love the one who hurt me most

Who haunts me daily like a ghost?

What do I do with this love?

Tell me please

My mind is rambles already diseased….

What do I do with this love

My love

What this love?