~More of DAR last Will and Testament~5/17/2014 4 damn years…. wait it’s a 4! (Inside joke) 4 is lucky happy Godly ~~truly~

More of his text to my son and me, from May, 17th 2014. For the record if you ….and you know who are..keep trying to use my mental disability against me. When my Lawyer and I are finished with you, the truth of your illness’s will be revealed, notice the plural on illness. Bulimia, Alcohol dependency,Lies, Thieving, anger issues…to name a few.

So it may appear things are in your favor for now, however, if God be for us/me then who can be against us/me.

~Abduction of a Fallen Angel NJM~Great Read~

His eyes did consume
Every motion movement she did make
Swirling about prancing like dangling carrots to take
Beauty wasn’t definition but a dream come to life
This was his thought now for his plight
Imagination brought to life
Capturing her quickly
She put up a fight
Nothing could stop him
He made her his that night
A golden anchor holds her down
Upon her head was a crown
All her struggles can’t contend
No thought of captivity to end
Soften his heart
Play on his fear
Whisper the words he longs to hear
Magical connotations in his ear
Promising to never leave
Taking his fill of her, weary he did sleep
Key to the anchor he did keep
Connotations soothes the beast
Guards let’s down no reinforcements
Without struggle nor a fight
She snuck away, far away that night
Far away
It’s her he longs for till his dying day
Don’t take what is not yours~
NJM~
Not For Reproduction~

Donnell Kerr  Christian~follows give me support on this very critical post!


Donnell Margaret Donald KERR~
There is no easy way to put this

No easy way to say

But you all think you are a Christian in a comfy corner you pray~

While your own flesh and blood did you turn away~

Does Jesus not say, Whatsoever you do to the least of my children that I do unto you?

Yes I believe that has been written~


My son……your blood as a new born kitten, you turned your back to a blind eye did you give, Do you really think in heaven you’ll live?

You dress all fancy on Sunday and sing put on your holy face~

But the promise the Lord made to his children is he will wipe you out erase from the book of life you see

You all turned your back on Donnell’s son trust this is not about me.

So when you read Gods word you sing and you pray it’s the blood of the innocent for which you will pay~

He did nothing to you, or you, or you, but I can tell you’re all ignorant and have not a clue~No Holy Spirit abides within you!

Suffer not the little children… hmmmm….

You go about life as though your grandson/Son Doesn’t exist~

On judgement day you’ll feel the Lords fist slam down the book make you take a look., Hypocrite you see? Think you better than me? Than the rest? Time God puts you to the test~ or maybe give it a rest, nope it’s the contrary~

Hey your daughter Noel some call a fairy? I think you know what I mean some say a queen, but it is what it is, so she’s gay, did not your God make her that way? Yes I believe he did.

Hey she is cool with me but the Bible you read doesn’t accept that you see?

You can live free~

On time bought buy the blood~

Times running short~

And so is the love~

Those who reject others reject themselves in turn God also will reject you~

Not sure what bible you read, But you know not the creed.

You Judge and sit tight now~

Think it’s all right now~

Time has a way of making you complacent you see?like so many others, fake and a snake slither the earth~

Not sure why I write this for I do not curse, vengeance is God’s~

Perhaps I am a small instrument he used to keep you on track and not be confused.

God is not the author of confusion you see, I’ll always accept you, yet you have yet to accept me or my son~

Perhaps retribution has begun……

Turn the other cheek?

Turn away the meek?

The weak?

Helpless?

Well …you did!

He now is a young man

No longer a kid.

I write all this down~

It’s my therapy you see~

I advocate for breaking stigmas~

Breaking exclusiveness~

Bringing in inclusiveness~

For all who suffer affliction~

Both physical and of the mind~

I try to think myself kind~

I often fall short~

Trust I’m no saint that’s for sure~

But enough is enough I’m letting you …..now endure~

Forgive me for my in your face ways, but we all know the bill somebody pays~

Truly I strive to forgive I try to be courageous in how I now live~

Such as this is the case but I truly give thanks for Gods loving grace~

God’s grace abounds the utterance the sound of cries long gone from days long past~

To think at one time I thought Your sons love for me and his child might last~

I want to thank you for training up your child Donnell in the way he should go, so that when he gets old he will not depart from it.

So I write a lot in quiet I sit, no doubt I’m a sinner too,

But I’m sure I’m not a sinner like you~

Not for Reproduction~

~A King & Queen~

A swiftness to your speech

Proclivity to your touch

Behind my ear a whisper clear

I feel your need as you draw near

Let down defense letting go of fear

Hot breath behind my neck

Keeping me in check

The persistence in your grasp

You unarm me by slow movement; poignant sly like a warm breeze that passes by, instead of breeze it’s energy that makes drop to my knees

Cunning sensuous

Am I meant for this?

To be for you

In waking life in dream too

I bow beneath your weight

As you vigorously guide the lead

I am feeling as though I’m your prized steed

Riding through this lust slow yet posthaste

I forgot just how you love this place between the peaks and valleys down below

You know I am the only one to fully fill your need

Allowing you to take me there upon my soul you feed

I give you freely what you covet most

Think me more than a sexual host

An equal is what I am you see, I’m vivacious tenacious and quick on my move I’ll spin you around crawl your walls

Take you down

As kings and queens both wear a crown

~

~Immortalized~Legends~

I am the painter of my life

But the sculptor has the say

The one that reminds me

Each and everyday~

Pray….. know that your words are you, as I am the word too

As are you.

Want to live forever my child

Want to be free again…..wings again run wild?

You will move on from this ethereal area…

This realm of this world 🌎

Dimensions vast but the one thing on this Earth that will last

Immortalize you your bloodline

WORDS write put in plain sight

Take your words paint your life

Let me mold you, refine with fire 🔥

A love so real, that burning desire

Deep in your belly with steel down your back …….your a wild young hybrid full of these words, you spin and you weave……

But dear Angel your words live forever long after you leave

Immortal~

Updated~Two Week Notice~yeah already~—

Dear God up above I can still feel your love…. but I’m sorry to say I must leave go away~ you called me a light worker, I can only do so much never ever figured out what is the human touch.

You blessed me with human a beautiful baby boy. I’m entrusting you to him, he is a child and yet my sin~when I try to write my book I don’t even know where to begin my life was fast like a whirlwind…and pieces scattered about and within

It’s all like a puzzle that was left in a closet hidden away, no one notice nor knew what to say

Laying by the devils side it isn’t hard to decide, he is the God of this world I now see, and I figured out the exit for me…. for any who look and choose to see, my mission complete~

So just give two weeks notice and keep the memories they serve no purpose when I’m gone. My words will live on and on. I planted seeds along the way, somehow though was led astray. So here I am Lord here I lay so I request an early judgement day.

I would do the same for my son, I would love him no matter what he may have done.

I ask in return you bless his life free of worry grief strife…. to live to laugh to love to know I can still see him from far above.

I laid by the devils side for over half my life it caused me to much pain to much strife and as a human being I’m sick of this life… I quit. Well I’m giving my two week notice as any good employee of a universal truth I must say I did enjoy my youth….. sometimes…. it reminded me I wasn’t meant for here, I was wild free and truly fierce scared of NOTHING!!!! Not even death. I couldn’t wait to take a last breath… but I endured and at times I laughed

But often rejected due to class, stereotypes, and bullshit in general full circle around but this time my Lord I leave this playground~ two weeks notice not to long to go and when I get where I’m Going please don’t say “I told you so” see ya soon!

Probably by noon

DAD~Happy Father’s Day Dad~belated… better late than Never… miss you and Mom~

I miss you so deeply~

I miss you so much~

The comfort of your Arms When I felt out of touch~

You Wanted a boy to carry our Name~

I Had your Grandson exactly 9 months after you died on my birthday~

My Birthday is New Years~

Wake up Call~

Read the signs, I am not the traditional kind~

So I gave Him Your Name~

Nicholas John Moncada the 5th I was the 4th~born in the south not in the north~

Your Daughter Nicole June Moncada the 1st~also the 4th…. 4 seems to resonate as my Angel number and lucky number good things come in four is what I say….I take that belief with me all along life’s way…. North,East,South,West…. I like the south the best…. in fact Dad I’m gonna take Nick, my new Husband and me and live in the land down under over by the sea or is it the ocean…. so full of emotion…. I can feel that smile….. I made…. your very proud wish I could hear you speak it out loud….. wait I hear the echo of the past, I figured this out at long last……. you were glad I was a girl although you wanted a boy….. you were glad I was a girl they thought I was a boy…but you were so happy you said on your death bed….. couldn’t have asked for a braver stronger woman I can call my precious daughter…. I can hear that echo from the past it’s happening Dad finally at long last…. took half my life right go figure

I miss you so much words can’t express~

How my life became a mess~

But It’s On Track Now~

I still Think Nick is you Reincarnated~but I’m not the expert…. just a messenger of light

Maybe it’s True~

He is just Like you, Loves Classics~

Here Is To You Daddy~

Happy Fathers Day~

R.I.P.  12-15-1931 to 1-1-2003~