~But That’s Not Humanly Possible..or is It?~

Often we are faced with the question above, possibilities and outcomes of certain questionable task, projects, and subjects we call life presents us with all sorts of opportunities to test the limits of possibilities. We at times feel it’s not humanly possible to accomplish such tasks.If you follow me, read my answers and post you have a pretty good idea of who I am, what my purpose is for writing about subjects I consider important issues of life. I believe we often share the side of us that will impact the opinions of others views in regard to how we are seen, and we all want that to be positive.Through the last 5 years due to my illness and situations I’ve decided that in order to bring about any change of view for the cause or purpose I believe in, I would need to be willing to share the good the bad and the ugly of what I am. I have done this at times with great apprehension. I have consulted my psychologist each time I unveil the layers that makes me who I am.Today mental illness and Autism deals with a type of racism. The difference however is we are in the birthing stages of this topic where scarcely people such as myself are just beginning to speak openly about this subject matter. It’s only been in the spotlight recently, unlike color racism or gender racism which we have faced for years and years. You can only talk about or place judgment upon subjects such as these for so long before it’s “like throwing pearls to swine” Mathew 7:6(oh crap she used a quote from Jesus)One extremely important purpose in my life is my son. If you read my post and follow me, you will notice I make mention of him often, but not in depth.Sadly through most of my life I often stated that I would never have kids. I didn’t want something to tie me down. I loved the ability to come and go as I please. I hated this world, its strange rules and lack of fairness. Until my fathers passing I really never gave solid thought about being a parent. So it came as a huge surprise when two weeks after my Dad had passed on to find out I was pregnant. I had only been intimate one time in the previous 8 weeks.

Nine months later my beautiful boy came along. I named him after my Dad. The first time I held him I was so tired from the C-section delivery. When he was placed in my arms tremendous fear and love washed over me. The weight of truth settled into my mind of what I had been entrusted with. The task at hand with regard to raising my son was daunting. I had never had a two-parent household as a child nor aunts, uncles, grand parents that even acknowledged me, seems I was a subject of controversy the minute I manifested here on planet earth, I knew rejection and desperately wanted to give my son the choices and opportunities and experiences I had not been afforded. I made the decision to pair up with my ex husband to try and effectively raise my son together. I left the biological father during my pregnancy for several reasons.

Before I go further into depth of the subject I am going to delve into a bit of insight about my son. First here is a recent photo of him. Beautiful right?

He is the single greatest event of my life. Often He teaches me more things than I teach him. For instance we could be in the ugliest torn down environment possible and he will be the first to find the positive aspects about things that often escape you or I . He is brave, not only does he live with the label in regard to ethnicity or race, but he has Asperger’s which to me only makes his quality of thoughts and expression utterly amazing and endearing, Then let’s throw in his type 1 diabetes, Five times a day he must draw blood to monitor his blood glucose levels. He wears an insulin pump, which requires a canula similar to what you would know as an IV one would wear in the hospital, attached to his body at all times. My son has been this way since he was 18 months old. He spent a week in intensive care when the diagnosis occured I called into work one day because I could see he had labored breathing, and was urinating to much, he was almost in complete diabetic shock, thank God I noticed this, because had I left him with the sitter and ignored the strange symptoms of which no one had ever spoken of to me about he most likely would be dead today. See doctors will tell you that as long as your child has a wet diaper during illness that means they are hydrated. He had been throwing up, but his diaper was wet. Little did I know he was urinating his body away.

What diabetes has taught me is to be sure while raising my son to not let his illness or disability take the front seat. To not make a big deal or draw attention to things that makes him or you different from others. Teaching him this principle goes a long long way in how he has come to perceive the world around him. My son displays true courage, he is an example for us, for me, for you.

I have shared with you the above thoughts to paint the picture of where I am heading in this post. Most importantly this post is for my son, he is my reason and purpose to trying to pave a new way of  life for him and all children. So with that I am going to begin to expound upon my view of racism and my suggestions of how we must view such subjects going forward, these suggestions are of extreme importance to consider if we want to build a safe and accepting world for those who have children with disabilities as well as for those who do not, and for those who may one day become a parent. The following paragraphs may have slight to moderate sarcasm. But it’s done so with what I would call dark humor. Let’s begin shall we.

I was unfollowed by the person I had a heated exchange with..OMG…:) then by the same person blocked (gasps) I do declare, then de-friended on Facebook meh, but then I also received a text message from said person letting me know further beyond their actions thus far, that we were DONE.  Now I don’t know about you, but my view of this shows the level of  immaturity I’m dealing with here in regard to a recent exchange on this subject at hand. I may not always share your view, but I’m following you for a reason … Perhaps it’s for the purpose of “keeping it real” perhaps I  admire  you or your writing style… Either way my following you is with purpose. Even though I may disagree with some of your views.

Often times I go down the list of my followers to their profile to see their activity and then check out their recent answers, I learned this style from Xu Beixi she has taught me so much being here~She is simply Amazing~ sorry I tagged you, I try to steer clear of tagging to much, I view it as grab assing(incase your not familiar with the term grab assing it’s slang for bull shit) But in this case I am allowing it in this post. So I happened upon someone who had their recent activity as an upvote on a post with the very person I had the ugly exchange. To be clear aboutexchange it’s an occurrence of giving one thing and receiving another.

I read the post and realized it was about the exchange I had recently in regard to racism, I was surprised that it received any attention because within the post lots of judging came up. Here is a direct quote I found in the comment section from the person in regard to my grammar usage That’s  funny she  frequently misspells and uses incorrect grammar and communication so she further underlines her own ignorance~ Being petty and using gender to make points I mention gender because I leave the words such as He/She out of my post on purpose for several reasons. But attacking another’s grammar is a judgment and racist remark against my education or lack thereof. Anytime someone wears the title of Judgment in regard to things such as this subject nature I’m writing about, all the way down to belittling someone due auto correct because I happen to be on my phone … In my opinion is hitting way way below the belt. Further more Brining up my race then getting pissed of if  I try to explain why race is not relevant for change to occur and still they are bringing up my sons race or lack thereof or words such a cognition (which in my opinion they clearly lacked) is deplorable and sounds to me like that person may have a chip or ten on their shoulder. Although I can see how this person would state these judgments being as they feel repressed.

To proceed with the point of my post, although points are indeed lost most always nonetheless, I’m going to give it a try once again with a bit more finesse… Here we go…Racism.. That word just stirs up the pot, doesn’t it. Racism does indeed stretch beyond the boundaries of its humble origins. It covers a whole lot of issues we encounter each and everyday. Originally used to describe those who have inferior or indifferent feelings about black human beings.

Today it is an umbrella word. I believe It’s a word that can cover various subjects in regard to prejudice or discrimination, as well as stereotyping. It’s also alive in ones self with regard to repression one may feel, thinking that the world at large is interacting in some way with them, instead of how THEY INTERACT with the world.

The sad thing is that in many ways racism is still here. Often times when we as a race think we have made strides in the right direction against racism the evil entity that is racism pops it’s ugly head out yet again proving It lives and lingers in every group, town, city, states and country, festering in the hearts of humans. One would think that after discussing a topic for the better half of the twentieth century yet lingering and bleeding into the twenty first century that all these discussions have yield is more chaos and confusion but not a single speech or death of those making the speech has really made much leeway. We elect Obama into the white house and that sadly became a subject of racism as well. True change occurs through example and experience.

You would think that for the past 60 years (estimated) we have made the biggest steps in the right direction or so it would seem. Then something like the Trayvon Martin event comes and reminds us that it’s still alive and well, even though we have talked about this issue for years and years… Years. Not much has changed. Sadly All the Trayvon Martins or Token black folk or speeches have yet to change it… Hmmm insane right?
Call my statements above a Red Herring, Post Hoc, Straw man whatever makes you feel better. See I was told that brining up Trayvon was a Red Herring.

In any issue we face, whether be it personal, or issues at large if an approach that has not previously worked for over 60 years and is still being used, yet yielding results that truly make “no difference” then it’s time for new tactics, a new strategy an approach if you will.

When the same tactic that has been used to try and stomp out issues such as race, or issue’s about oneself in relation to racism it’s s called insanity.

It’s insane to think that pointing out differences such as race, or better yet thinking you are a spokes person for such things as race is going to brake the cycle …..that cycle that yet continues, damn that cycle.

If I felt that bringing up such topics was a good approach, I surely had every reason to talk about such being the mother of a child that is mixed in origin, multiracial I like to say. But as you will soon find out as you read further that according to the other person I had the heated exchange with that I wouldn’t know nothing being a white women and all, with a mixed child.

Today after thinking about all that has transpired due to the subject being brought up in the forum, I now feel the need to lend a voice to educate the subject of race. I would like to offer a few suggestions on this worn out subject.

I feel this way because of my son who is mostly black. Why would I say mostly black you ask? Well a person recently told me(Notice I don’t use gender at all in my reference I merely leave the common ground we share together, being we are people/person, and you cannot tell about that person’s gender because I use certain principles when trying to make a point) Any way this person Whom I thought was a friend, who happened to be a black person of a certain demographic said and I quote “I had no place to feel how I do since I was a white women” my my my… Hmmm ..there it is again pointing out difference that ugly race/gender difference card (I say women because you can clearly see I’m the women writing this) but better still in regard to my ideas is that I am a PERSON, a living, breathing, walking, person, just like you. Wow who would’ve known?

This is what I teach as a principle to my son, took look past differences and instead see each other as the human beings we are, funny thing is subsequently my son teaches me daily about things of the heart, about love, acceptance, and how not to notice obvious differences, but instead look for the common element we all share. I would not be bringing up race in regard to my son who is black, (only pointing out racial aspects since this seems to be the ongoing theme) and since I’m Creole, that makes him a bit more than half black. But most importantly it also makes him a human being, same as me, you the person next to you, your neighbor.

To bad that person didn’t look a bit closer in regard to labels. Creole people are a mixture of Spanish, French, and Black ethnicity. To bad that person couldn’t just see me as the person, the human I am, but instead a white women no less. That this person couldn’t see that making race an issue in my opinion in subtle ways makes that person…… Well sorry to say it but racistBut you see that’s my view, however I’m here to say that beyond the realm of Quora my view is greatly shared.

I feel that in order to represent all gender and race my first suggestion on that subject is change the word man and replace the word with  human hence man kind changes to human kind if somehow that stance was a view shared commonly among humans long long ago, Tremendous amount of conflict including slavery would have NEVER existed! But unfortunately that approach was not implemented. Instead we try and ostracize those different from us.

Remember the one commonality we all share, which is being human. Human being, that’s what we are. Hey look I’m thinking surely the person who coined the term “human race” had that principle in mind when doing so, they freely looked upon the element we share, which is we are human first. As long as I’m the mother representing my child of a mixed origin, I definitely feel my view upon such is of extreme relevance.

What can you and I do in your little area of the world to change the view of others you find different or indifferent than yourself you ask?  Simple, apply the principle I teach my son who as stated previously also teaches me and I am still trying to apply in my life and plant the seeds in yours, don’t point out our differences in terms of race pointing out difference on any subjects of this nature simply must cease in order for change. In order to come together we must find a common ground, which has eluded us at this point. Look in the mirror staring back is the reflection of you, and me

But then again what would I know, being white women and all, with a mixed child. I wouldn’t know a thing right?

Personally I think where we are headed in terms of race is what we see happening before our eyes. People are mixing together in union, interracial unions are making up more and more interracial children until one day race in regard to racism will cease, want to know why? Because at that point we will all be one racethen we can’t point fingers when we are mostly all alike, we are indeed one race that is the human race although its not fully recognized. If we continue down the path I clearly see, the trend of humanity is leading us naturally in the direction of one mixed race, which is represented nicely by children such as my son, and myself.

I am going to share something the person who I had this disagreement with so beautifully and aptly put an analogy in my mind when we spoke of better subjects That is “you can’t make change looking in the rear view mirror, only by looking through the windshield” I like this quote It works lest we all fall further into ignorance and continue to look behind us, instead of in front of us.

I would also like to add that should you feel repression about subjects of race, it is the repression YOU ALLOW yourself to feel, you allow yourself to THINK is real. Truly it is real, that is for you its real, not for all of us, certainly not for my son or me at least not with regard in discussion such as these, we prefer to set examples.

So please remember the common element we all share being human.. Human being… That is of course unless you’re an Alien. Then by all means should you be an Alien, that is in ” Alien from outer space” surely then we should sit down… If you can sit, and explore the difference of our existence, being that here on earth we are humans.

But if you’ve traveled light years away to visit us, I would be delighted to sit or stand and exchange the obvious difference we don’t share. Instead of the commonality we all share.

Going forward with regard to this festering subject at hand, I’ll be speaking loudly about my views to try facilitate change needed so my son and the future of our children. So this world will be better than the present conditions we currently still exist in. I’ll try to work on my delivery of such festering topics.

However should you continue to disagree with me, I believe Robert A Heinlein had the right idea in mind when he said “A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, guide a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”

Oh one more thing if your going to represent me as part of the Felidae species I believe the Leopard would be best considering the many colors of their fur and the fact that teeth and claws would show for sure when protecting her cubs. I believe Scar who was Simba’s evil uncle in my opinion was best represented by the person with whom I exchanged harsh views and blocked me.

Not For Reproduction.

 

 

~The Truth About Forgiveness….~

The truth about forgiveness and other peoples shit.

I recently had an opportunity to interact in a racial discussion. Not such a big secret.

As with all things labeled “race” tensions can often times run high.

One of the people I exchanged views with I had previously exchanged more pleasant conversations in regard to life,love, God….

Thank God right? It’s always a good thing to share positive thoughts and well wishes.

But on this occasion, Many …many things came up in our exchange of views, mud was slinging about. You know the great divides that we all eventually face in life from time to time based upon learned views, social norms. That mud being our “shit”

I have what I like to call strong frequency levels when it comes to others I interact with. Whether face-to-face, phone, or via the Internet.Once the connection is made, I can sense the mood easily.

This person went to bed angry. I actually prayed and laid my head down in peace before sleep, but upon waking I could feel the tension in the atmosphere. That person had not slept well, and was still extremely angry.

That person I exchanged harsh words with The key word being “exchange” see I am aware enough to see that in most cases of civility when lines begin to blur and pleasantries cease to exist, it is down to the two who are at battle.

The battle being the subject at hand, the views harshly expressed. I could sense the indifference from this person, although this person may not have felt it from me. I bit into the indifference instead of doing what I clearly know how to do, which is to just walk away.

But instead I chose to stay awhile. I chose to hash out all my beliefs on the subject at hand. I stated my thoughts clearly and remained on the subject matter as best I could, considering the remarks and innuendos that were being exchanged. You know the ones like the word “Cognition” in regard to things of the mind. Or the phrases like “to counter your claims” or better yet “moral high ground” hmmmm….

After the final comments were finished, lines had been crossed, I prayed. I asked God to forgive me for my unwillingness to yield on the subject being discussed. Then I knew the next step to releasing the poison I had allowed myself to bite into….. I had to ask the very person I exchanged harsh comments with to humbly forgive me.

Now it’s one thing to say harsh words……that is to actually exchange harsh words, but another thing to say you’re sorry sensing and knowing that your wrong is as wrong as their wrong, yet fully aware that their arrogance would justify their cause and stated words.

I was fully aware that I would open myself up to feel further hurt by allowing myself to ask for forgiveness and in so doing trying to forgive myself for going to places I usually try my best to stay away from.

I believe the saying is “chose your battles wisely”.

I don’t know if the other person is or is not aware of how strongly I can sense others. But what I can tell you is my judgment of such has never failed. What has failed is for me to truly recognize at this stage of my life these frequencies I pick up on.

I realized that the last time I spoke to this person it was done on their behalf out of a sense of some duty. I could hear this in the person’s voice almost from day one. But I was extremely gracious for the fact that someone was willing to reach out to me.

I just wish I would have declined at this point. I realize that true actions never stick for long if they’re done out of duty.

For any true exchange or epiphany to occur on any subject between two strong minds there first needs to be a willingness that’s organic and freely felt from the heart to heart.

See duty is like a job you grudgingly hold onto because you somehow have been made to play that role. Trust I know, I used to feel the same way at one venture of my life. I realized that it was laboring under false pretense.

The most freeing thing anyone can do for themselves is to first forgive yourself for the ignorant actions/exchange between another living, breathing, human being. Forgive yourself for the stupid battle you so willingly placed yourself in, in the first place.

Then the hardest part of the next stage is saying your sorry, being fully aware that an apology is needed all the way around, however knowing you must act first. Because you can sense that the other person wouldn’t budge, and most likely will hold onto their view never fully seeing full circle that it was indeed an “exchange”

I’ve lived this role in my life to many times, what it has yet again taught me is to not only chose my plight carefully, but that at some innate level of existence this world has made us all a bit “full of shit”.

For that I can’t say much more, considering I’m covered in my own most of the time, but at the present moment I’m covered both in mine and the other persons “shit.”

I am sorry for the colorful use of the word “shit” as it pertains to the human qualities we all inherently share. I feel a bit cleaner now for coming clean, and being the person to see her shit first.

Now I’ll go on my detox of sorts that I said I was going to do yesterday, yet here I am today but now I truly have stated my piece/peace. Thank you for a lovely exchange.