~What Does It Feel Like To Have Bipolar Disorder~

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What does it feel like?
Like any illness in general it sucks.
Why? There is no cure.

When I first received my diagnosis I stayed in denial for about 2 years.
I mean who wants that stigma right?
Both my parents suffered enough with the illness, so early on I swore “not me” “I’m not gonna get it“
Majored in Psychology to gain a better understanding , while earning my degree , I had my first bout. It was after finishing statistics in psychology.

I’ve been up and down all my life. Looking back I most likely lived with it for the better half of my life. The traits that others found endearing, such as boundless energy, the life of the party, ideas that were radical, spontaneous, whimsical, rhyming, the abuse of drugs, Was all cool and fun.

As I got older those traits turned from endearing to dark, and bold, and brutal.
Believing yourself to be a superhuman of sorts is not realistic. But I did believe this. I also believed many other non truths while in mania.

The low, the depression, it was real bad. So much so that suicide was a close friend of mine that I romanced often. Attempted twice. Hospitalized against my will because of it. Even wrote a large essay about suicide and how it is actually courageous and in no way selfish. I rationalized this by turning the selfish element on to those who would miss me, as being the selfish ones. And truly I still see it that way.
The only reason anyone wants you around them, although some may claim love, it’s that they need you, they want you. In that alone arises their selfish desire of needing you to stay here. I realize that this is a polluted thought , but it rings true to me.

Bi polar disorder skews reality, it blurs the lines, and we don’t always use nor have the same filter as those not afflicted with this disease of the mind.

But I always remind those who will listen that some of the greatest minds were afflicted with this disorder this disease.
Here is a link to see for yourself the list of many famous minds:

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/L…
In short it’s a slippery slope, full of wonderment,  energy, lows, depression, delusional thoughts. Sometime more creative, other times completely destructive. That’s what it’s like.

~When was Bipolar Discovered~

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Bipolar disorder is not so much discovered as it did exist throughout time. Dated back to Ancient Greece where Aretaeus of Cappadocia, who was a physician and philosopher in the time of Nero or Vespasian (first century AD) had observed patients that would dance and play all night for days even. Then without notice change to dull and somber and weeping.

It has always been there, just not yet labeled as such. 
In the early nineteen hundreds the term was called “Manic Depressive” in order to give a term to the manic side of mania and its counterpart depression

. 
 In 1854, Jules Baillarger (1809–1890) and Jean-Pierre Falret (1794–1870) both presented psychiatric terms and writing about the illness called ~dual insanity ~ 

It was In the early 1900s the eminent German psychiatrist Emil Kraepelin (1856–1926) coined the term that would be used to describe what we know as bipolar today. He called it ~manic depression~ 

It was not until the 1950’s that the terms for the illness went between using ~manic depressive~ to bipolar affective disorder ~ it was proposed by German psychiatrist Karl Leonhard in 1957.

So it truly has always been an illness, like all other illness that has also been around for ages. There is no definitive answer to exactly when it was discovered. Much like diabetes and cancer.. I don’t think we know who exactly discovered those either.