~The beauty of acceptance is not found among others, it’s found within yourself~NJM~
I recently wrote about truth and forgiveness, upon waking after a decent sleep I awoke inspired to write a few more bipolar thoughts. So after a bit of prayer, and thanksgiving I felt the need to expound upon other issues considered taboo, subjects of a certain nature, issues we skirt around that are easily ignored by some of the very people who are afflicted with this virus of the mind we call mental illness.
See often time’s conflict or malice, jealousy; hate can be just like mental illness… Grudges held, harbored with indifference, tormenting the mind, much like the virus we call mental illness.
Think of a computer being the mind, and often times our computers have a virus, which eats away at the data, causing the computer to run slowly maybe even shut down, in any case a virus sucks. No amount of defragmentation will remove the corrupt virus. Instead it needs a full diagnostic repair, a definitive diagnosis to best find the course of treatment.
However unlike our computers that we can easily replace the mind unfortunately cannot.
A virus whether it is of the physical, mental, or emotional kind, can often occur simultaneously. You know the kind where your sitting on a toilet diarrhea coming out one end, vomit out the other.
In my recent exchange on topics uncomfortable to discuss the subject of mental illness came up. I’ve had the opportunity since becoming a member of Quora/Wordpress community to be a spokesperson of sorts. You know the one, or in my case the go to Gal if a question you may want information on with regard to mental illness needs answering in a more discrete way, because like I stated above its a skirt around issue laden with stigma, shame and even remorse. I understand, its cool, you’re not ready to go to public or speak out yet about this virus of the mind. In fact I feel honored that others feel I am approachable with such sensitive issues of the mind.
I’ve exchanged some great and touching views, ideas, personal feelings on the topic of mental illness both in the question forums, and mostly via private messages.
I’ve strived to bring light to what I call “the forgotten subject” or plainly stated the ignored area of existence that each and every one of us encounter whether it be your personal illness, a spouse, relative or a friend or an undiagnosed one of your own.
Before I learned to fully embrace the diagnosis I received, I was among the majority of “those people” Who prefer to ignore, belittle, or just firmly state the phrase “it’s all in your head, snap out of it” and truly it is “all in our head, your head, my head’……..
Now hold on a minute, in no way am I saying you’re mentally ill necessarily.
No, I’m merely offering up dialogue to paint the picture in your mind of the message, my plight about a subject near and dear to me, one that has affected me personally due to both parents and their parents having some form of mental illness and my present diagnosis.
Not For Reproduction~
But now 4 years later I can look back and see that I fit the criteria of a bipolar person. With my acceptance came a desire to be heard and help others gain a better understanding of what it is to live with bipolar disorder. Just like Mill’s stated everyone has there own personal story, it varies with each individual.
I have only regretted it when I’ve been met with ignorance or indifference, or fear. I have indeed been faced with others who have not been educated in regard to bipolar as well as other mental illness. More people seem to relate to depression because more individuals are faced with it, as opposed to bipolar. I once wore the label of “clinically depressed” I was first diagnosed with clinical depression in my 20’s. It seemed I was openly accepted being clinically depressed.
Because bipolar disorder is related to extreme shifts of mood. It’s laden with many unknown variables. The sensitivity of the illness and its ability to shift in opposite directions, leaves others worried about your personal stability and sensitivity.
But generally I’m at a place in my life where I bare the label with openness and willingness to educate others and answer questions to the best of my experience and struggles.
Treatment and upkeep of the disorder goes along way with the stability aspect. When you have a good history of stability in regard to treatment, it helps others feel secure in reaching out to you. People are fearful of what they’ve seen or not seen or heard. When someone is exposed to me for an extended period of time, Barriers breakdown and a level of acceptance is then replaced with prior apprehension I was met with. Truthfully you can’t be bipolar in society without meeting some prejudice. I believe this is true for all mental illness, not just exclusive to bipolar disorder, but all. It’s not limited to just my label, but all mental illness labels, and autism as well.
Not for Reproduction~
Follow me on twitter for other blurbs of thought I don’t put here.
See you in my twitter feed
Every Penny Every Dime Every Nickel My Angel’s left behind to remind me…… ~In God We Trust~
So without further Ado ……………. my recent tweet~
2 separate cases but will go full circle~
First a big shout out to #God then to both my Attorneys #LarryCartelli and #Craig…no last name to the public on him..he represents in a level as Larry. As I pledged to my father in heaven, as well as my father on earth before he died, my Moncada bloodline will never want again~
Say this prayer and mean each word you say. Love will come to you. It has for me.
Lord forgive me
I have to say
I never imagined life this way
One person can enter
Into a life
Makes you want to live
To share and be free
Never ever again
Having to be lonely
This cross I bare
It’s becoming to much
I seem to feel so out of touch
I only want to believe
That someone will find me love me
And never leave
So this poker game has to end
I lay down my cards now
I have to fold
This old heart is getting old
I don’t know what will be
But I ask you let my soul mate find me
By the power of three
Let it be~
~You can’t change the world and how it interacts with you, however you can change how you interact with the world~Find your voice~NJM~