~It’s Been 1 Year~

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What can I say, It’s been 1 year that I developed this blog. I developed it for several reasons. To educate and bring insight to mental illness and bipolar disorder which I suffer from. Let me rephrase that, that I have been blessed with, yes I said blessed with.

Sure there are times that I suffer, don’t we all suffer at times? Most times we actually bring the suffering upon ourselves….most of the time that is. There are circumstances that occur that we have no control over, and these circumstances can cause distress and pain.

Bipolar however can be used for the beauty and creativity that makes it the “Genius” disorder. Don’t get me wrong, all of us have a inner genius we can tap into, but truth be told some of the greatest people in our eternal history were afflicted with bipolar disorder, great prolific writers, artist, philosophers, inventors to name a few titles that bipolar disorder will forever be attached to.

Bipolar disorder invokes strong passionate feelings about so much. It’s why we have the super highs and the plummeting lows. But when you can find your niche and the right treatment for the illness you can do amazing things. Don’t get me wrong I have my “Silver Lining’s Playbook” moments….the Bradley Cooper Character parts, the ones that you know where you put something and will tear the house down looking for it all the while raging and possibly fits of crying….I also have the insight he had. If you have never seen the movie I highly recommend it. Two people Bradley Cooper plays “Pat” and Jennifer Lawrence plays “Tiffany” both of them suffer mental illness.

 

Their lives lead the into a cross road that intertwines and brings the two together. It brings two talented crazy ass, beautiful people together. Know what? They fall in love. I have been blessed with a very similar situation in my life. It intertwined with someone that I first saw two years ago at an AA meeting.

What I can say is this, the right person can be amazing and be the balance you may be missing. Am I saying go run out and find someone? Hell No! It’s a natural unexpected occurrence. You never know when are how, but when the timing is right they walk into your life and the puzzle begins to fit and come together.

Am I saying that another person is the answer? Again NO! your answer is to balance,and this can be many other things. But that’s the key. Balance and low to no stress levels. See I was in abusive relationship for several years. Events due to my illness and circumstances beyond my control propelled me forward, and low and behold her I am. Standing up, good people around me. Part time job, with a great boss. A wonderful partner. All I have to finish is this custody battle and the finality to the divorce which will be soon.

Look just like you I am feeling my way around this unexpected and mysterious life, illness….but one thing I will say is “Thank God” for my life has not been a random series of events, oh no..see I have watched things unfold in my lowest moments, and trust I have hit bottom on a few occasions. Each time I watch God maneuver and work all the kinks out. Believe how you chose, but I know what I lived.

 

Life without belief and faith is a random occurrence of events that have so many variables that there is no cohesive qualities. But a life of faith one rooted in God is a life of destiny and each occurrence brings you one step closer to the true reason you were placed here on this planet. One step closer to Kismet.

I plan to do more writing in this next year, I am still working on a Novel, but until some finalities in my life play out I have put it on the back burner.

I also Plan to continue to advocate and educate for the awareness of mental illness and taking the stigma away, to show others that we are human and we hurt and feel and love just  as they do, just sometime more intensely more passionately. I plan to be a voice in the wilderness of the void, a voice that has no true voice, just random  people here and there willing to admit to or casually speak about their personal struggles. I want to change the concept and understanding of mental illness and especially bipolar disorder.

To those who stop by and read my blog, thank you. To those who follow my blog thanks for your support!

Till my next post, be blessed, stay safe, be well.

Much Love~

NJM~

~I logged into her account~

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he said twice on the stand…”I logged into her account” I’m sorry Mr.Raley did you just say you logged into her account and that anyone anywhere can jump IP addresses? ” well I logged into her account and…… …. I meant I went to her account stumbles on words…. Dialogue from court yesterday.

Oh yeah because I had an affair back in 1999 with Larry. I made him become an alcoholic. That’s right folks I’m the all powerful able to override your accountability. Wow I caused you, because you have no mind of your own is that it? Ok.

Seriously you were an alcoholic bulimic psycho thief since 1993. See you at the next hearing😀
Thank you God!!!!!

To all naysayers and those who kicked me under the bus… God’s got my back, who’s got yours?

                

~Side Effects~

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Disconcerting
Detached
Colors outside the lines
Blurry
This particular emotion is completely lacking…..
Lacking cohesive qualities
It’s unravelling
And the edges keep getting stuck in the door
At its most severe case it’s completely unsettling…..
And it’s weakest
Subtle anxiety
Dry mouth
Like sand mixed with cotton
Anesthetized
Clinical white
In this sterile environment
I’ll await my next dosage
Hands heavy laden
Cracked around the edges
Layered with side effects

 

Latuda and its Happy Side Effect

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crazyaboutbipolar's avatarcrazyaboutbipolar

I want to share with you the success I’ve had with a new medication.  I know a lot of you are frustrated with your meds and their inability to treat multiple symptoms without uncomfortable or dangerous side effects.

Most of you with bipolar are aware that there are only two medications that are FDA-approved specifically for treatment of bipolar disorder:  Seroquel and Lithium.  And many of you may have tried those two meds, with little or no success.  I fall into that category, and for several years I have bounced around between various prescriptions, trying a combination of this and that, hoping for some success.  I was looking for a medication that I could take singularly, without having to take a separate pill for each of my symptoms.

I think I’ve probably tried just about everything on the market, or combinations of those meds.  The aforementioned Seroquel and Lithium, along…

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~A Must Read~ this answer gets strange attention~ http://qr.ae/m239h

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I think this is possibly one of my best post. That simple, read it. Hate, LIke it, it’s raw truth spoken well and in season enjoy! It gives tremendous insight to many peoples shit and bipolar in general.

~Forgivness~Christianity~Divorce!

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It is one thing to forgive, another to forget. Even more to forgive and forget and see actions of change needed yet never fulfilled. The important thing is not allowing it to happen again. Allowing the same actions to take place in ones life is complete stupidity and utter foolishness

Furthermore Beware of Charlatans and modern day glamour Christians who preach the gospel. Jesus’s didn’t need millions in his bank account and the finest of clothes, cars, and acquaintance. No, He dined with the homeless and was friends of those with less. In modern times a true Jesus would be in the ghetto not a multimillion dollar church. Beware even the bible speaks of those who shall rise and claim Christianity. False prophets who barely speak of tribulations and only of prosperity.

Divorce is as marriage two people unified or grown far apart. one goes this way the other that way, either way it took two.
1 and 1 make 2, there is no better half.

~Thank You~

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~Thank you to those who comment so quickly on my post, Glad to know you’re watching so closely, hope your experience is everything you hoped it would be upon visiting my blog. Thanks for your support.~

~My son and his biological Father~

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Striking resemblance, genetics win again.

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~Truth About Hacking Part 2~

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I was in thought this morning after prayer and it occurred to me that back in April of this year that my Ex-husband hacked my twitter account. He was looking through my direct messages between myself and Luke Cole a friend I had met via Quora as well as another friend. He did this twice. I had to post this because it shows you how vulnerable twitter accounts are, and how easy it is to get into another person account. Further more you don’t need to be Tech Savvy or a hacker of sorts to do so. His knowledge of such is minimal.

So remember that twitter is indeed a very vulnerable and easily available. This is true even for secured/locked accounts.

 

To further add insult to injury the very same person then created an account to follow the two males I was in communication with. After the most recent incident he then tweeted about the whole thing to these very people stating in the tweet that I had threatened to kill both him and my son as well as being baker acted(involuntary mental assessment).

 

It would also appear that my Quora account had been tampered with as well, hence the reason I am only posting here. Although I have not completely deactivated that account. I am considering doing so, but realize that much of my work on that blog is indeed helpful to those individuals that suffer mental illness.

 

This person tried to commit suicide back on May 17th of this year when I expressed my need to end this abusive relationship. I have since obtained the baker act of my ex-husband in regard to this situation as well as other incriminating health issues including but not limited to bulimia, anger issues, and severe alcohol dependency. I intend ti submit these to the courts.

 

I have court tomorrow and pray I find favor with this situation.

 

Thank you to those who are keeping me and my son and this situation in their prayers.

~Personal Quotes~Situations~NJM~

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~In life situations which are life lessons will continue to present it self over and over again until you master the lesson and then move on~Stay courageous~