~When to get a new Psychiatrist~Bipolar Issue~

Nicole MoncadaHave been diagnosed with Bipolar 1 for 5 years. It’s been one hellevu ride!
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~The Non Traditional Christian & Being Bipolar~NJM~

I used to use twitter a lot. The above tweet is one dear to me, and although it may have not received attention as others tweets, it is a true statement about the perils of Bipolar disorder.
Lately I write a bit less, and with that I notice less “Likes” on my post. I get lots of “shares” but no one I follow seems to be touched by my words. Not touched enough to “like”or moved enough to comment.
I wrote about courage recently and one other person like it, it was shared among facebook 4 times. Guess what? I don’t care. It’s not about the “likes” or even the shares. It’s about my expression of feelings that I feel I need to convey. It’s about courage. If someone gets something from it, then my work is done. If no one gets nothing from it, my work is still done. Why, you ask? Because I received something from it. I purged a thought, feeling, or a need to express. I found courage to write. To share.
Sure my prayer is to inspire, to teach, to eventually become a great writer, a best-selling author. Sure I am also an unorthodox oxymoron as well. A contradictions of sorts. Does the bible not indeed contradict as well? Yes. Indeed it does. Why? It’s left open to interpretation that is why.
I am the church, not a building. I don’t fellowship in a brick and mortar tower that cost millions to build. No. I fellowship with those I see daily at work. I try to encourage and lead by example, to wish everyone a blessed day. Should we all be as fortunate? indeed.
I have a calling on my life, I knew this while serving a year in jail at age 19. I just was not sure what it was. I did at one time have the ability to give prophecy. I lost that as time went by. I see bits and pieces still, but only when I draw near to God. I often fall short in that category. But I get up and try again. Never stop trying.
I am non traditional. Never wanted to be like what I had been exposed to. However, I fell short at times. Fitting in seems important at certain stages of life, so we compromise our true nature that God instilled in us to fit in.
Some would say ” if God exist why does so much bad happen? why are you bipolar, so on so forth…
I’ve examined this many times. There is a passage in the bible that states that many mysteries are yet to be revealed. That we have not the mind of God therefore we know not what God knows. What I will say is these two words “Free Will” it was ours the moment we entered this world. Our will is powerful if we use it. The problem is many use their will for exploiting and hurting others. The weaker minds allow for this to happen, and then bad things happen.
You may say then “What of illness, disease? Again I have no exact answer. What I can say, is some of the greatest and inspiring stories are about those who are ill. I am ill. My son is ill, he has type 1 diabetes and Aspergers. Wow he is a testimony of taking his illness and turning it into testimony. He made honor roll recently. He is in 6th grade. He is part of my personal testimony, for he is my son. Train up a child in the way they should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. {Proverbs 22:6}
My God, I can’t believe that I was basically married at his age. Yes, you heard me. I married 48 days after I turned 14. I had just turned 14!!! Who would allow such in a modern society, abuse and illness from my Mother propelled me to such. To much degree all are ill. I don’t hide my illness. I am open so that others may learn from my experience.
Think of me as a generic Christian my set of values and standards may be different from yours, but we are all indeed human. We can go further in our future as a race and our beliefs if we begin to look at each other as another “human” and be that. A human being.
Our imagination has a myriad of possibilities we project which eventually molds our future possibilities which lay before each of us.
In order to make a difference we must engage our conscious to the voice of God and the nature of heart to man/human.
So this day as I pray, I pray for you, as I ask you pray for me…..like a  pay it forward prayer act.
I leave you with my bipolar thoughts now…
The heart may be the bodies strongest muscle but it’s also most fragile for all its strength it is also the weakest how’s that for irony?
As previously stated…..
Imagination is the myriad of possibilities we project and mold our future possibilities that lay before each of us.
We must engage our conscious, it too is the voice of God and the nature of heart in man.
So I reach out I hear the song of angels whispering……
I’m there for you
Expecting nothing in return, &
The amazing melodies of nature that only God can sing
The ability to hear it once again. May we all be so fortunate.
Thanks for reading my bipolar non traditional Christian thoughts.
~NJM~

NJM~Personal Quotes~

Sometimes festering in your own shit,covered inherently in your ignorant deceit may you look in the mirror & realize it’s time to come clean~

~Bipolar,The Unique Truth about the illness and my theories~

First I urge you the reader to watch a movie called “Touched by Fire” with Katie Holmes… the depiction of the two characters bring this post together. They are two bipolar individuals that’s all I will say. Watch it.

Bipolar the unique truth
Truth is there are many bipolar people with a unique gifts of art, it springs forth from our well to bring to life what we hope others will get, will understand.
I write poetry through my heart

My veins, my brain. Some other bipolar people paint, some sing, some Dance, some sculpt, and others like me, the countless thousands that write.
I consider myself a warrior fighting a cause trying to educate and break mental health stigma I also bring my demons out to display for all to see. That’s pretty ugly and unique. Hang it all out, air the bullshit I fester in at times, don’t we all?
Here is the thing, even warriors get weary and tired, and at times may even feel defeated.
I feel this as I write it, however by days end I’ll feel completely opposite I will feel empowered.
You may be a bipolar person, however every one of us is so unique so very unique.

I have been told all my

Life I have a switch, like a light switch that goes off if I’m done such as with let’s say …chemical addiction I am addicted for awhile to some drugs as an example. Cocaine, ecstasy, acid that kind of stuff I did at various times of my life, only to put it down. Still down over 15 years or more to this point and I pray it will always stick, it has thus far.
Now Mary Jane is like a best friend that I can hug goodbye, then check up on Mary Jane and alas, we have a long visit. Then I hug her again. Only to keep visiting.
Longest I ever told Mary Jane see you later I didn’t see her for 5 years….. that’s along time.
I’m similar with cigarettes but I have never been a real lifer for cigarettes.
I pick those up during stressful times. Like a switch I turn it back off till it illuminates again and the switch is turned on….. hey maybe it’s a glitch…

Today is the full moon. The moon affects bipolar people.
Say what you will, the cosmic energy changes the ebb and the flow of the ocean and pulls stronger because we are closer to our moon. If it affects a huge ocean then I view it as ……how much more can it affect us little humans. I mean come on it’s pulling an ocean sitting by us you think it don’t affect us, Ha. Ok.
Anyway these are my theories. Adopt them as your own if it rings true. Examine it if it doesn’t.
For some the full moon energizes their soul, others melancholia, others deep depression.
It is a shackle. I have theories about mental illness for a very long time. We live in a multidimensional world.
I often wondered if the mentally ill are tapping into the other dimensions the ones that others can’t hear, see, or feel.

I have others who have witnessed phenomena in me with regard to two things, first I seem to affect electrical currents in my area around me lights and such . Second the ability to tell you about something important that is gonna happen if you’re close to me.

This has been witnessed and many can tell you, yep she does.
This only started again, notice I said again, yes again after 3 years. See I was away around lies and deceit for the duration of my marriages, I listened and bought into the lies …. then I broke free after my divorce…for the last three years of my life, I stopped listening to lies, I’m in what I call a spiritual cleanse zone.
I can do things others can’t or maybe they can I haven’t met them yet, do you have phenomena too? just like I have , are you bipolar and have a phenomenon like myself which only adds to what I feel is extremely unique.
I had gifts when I was younger and not tainted by this world nor afflicted with atrocious disease of the mind. I prayed and meditated for hours in nature back then. My gifts at its apex. But years of hearing and buying into those lies affected my gifts. We all have some kinda strange gift if you tap into it.
Removing yourself from all lies or to recognize lies(spirit bares witness to others) the lies others speak you will and can know. But how do you know if they are lying?
For me It’s a silent “I know”.A feeling a sensation I pick up on.
Sometimes it’s just a quick whispers brief then gone.
This is me. This is how I am navigating my outer worldly experience. The queue’s I receive.
I don’t dabble in dark arts. My mother did. She was sought after on the bayous of Louisiana. People come from all over the bayou to see her. To hear what she had to say.
She then had a change of heart made me burn all my albums( so long ago lol albums) all my records.
I couldn’t wear pants anymore and I got to go to 6 th grade at a weird school from the church she joined. It was Like a mixture of Assembly of God or Pentecostal type of practice.
Yet I survived my crazy ass formidable young years as best I could, well that was until I revolted and got married at 14.
I was rebellious, against the grain. I think that was a charismatic draw when I was younger I had a few select friends.
Wherever we went, when we arrived the party started and most flocked to me it flowed… it was a powerful feeling.
So see yours may be different it’s why I have given you a quick narrative of my life.
So how are the meds going? Well? What was your cost? Mine was feelings, eyesight, weight, rapid weight gain. A few more add on’s.
My meds are Lamictal, Serquel, Clonopin. Not to mention pain meds for another condition.
Cool fact I’ve only had three cavities. My mom was big about brushing my damn teeth.
Hey! I have a bright smile. That is if I’m not in one of the many moods that flow through me every hour. Yes every hour.
See another difference. My Mind is in a variation or some would say rapid cycle.
Yours may be still, constant depressed, or you could be in a full blown manic episode.
In order to make any stride In Breaking stigma we must begin to be honest with ourselves.
We walk blindly sometimes through a day our thoughts jumbled.
But are we living our truth, bearing the scars and being open about your unique illness and the unique art it invokes in you.
Can we all feel empowered always, the answer is No. however we can strive, press onward.
For us our creativity and our illness make us so unique, so let your colors out and color outside the lines.
Don’t be afraid, we all have at one time or another. However, this is coming from someone who has had a rough ride getting to this place of complete honesty.
A place to tell my story without fear. Worry about nothing, care about most things, leave the rest behind. That’s my quote…
Thanks for stopping in and reading my post.
Have a beautiful day and watch out for our full moon tonight!

~NJM~ Quotes~

Your life is not yours, it is a series of events you walk through blindly.Deceiving yourself thinking your eyes were open~that’s truth~NJM~

Consistency …..And Sparta? Yes!!

I decided long ago consistency does count, but I forgot it is a two way street. I can’t be the only one striving for that attribute in any relationship. 
If you’re not able to also be acknowledgeable of me in consistent status, then I Guess you can’t run in my 300. Not many can it should be called my 3 lol. Since I barely trust anyone and I have two I can count on…. they run in my 3 …….. huh my 3…And play it out like 300.

Sparta! They consistently worked together to eventually defete an empire. It was dedication to the consistency that was beautiful. They moved as one unit.If you can’t communicate with me and act as a team as a unit then please do us all a favor stay away already.

I live in my Sparta and I’m gonna Conquer my distractions in many ways… May God be with me~ and may he be with you too~ God Speed~ we all need it~

~Going Live today from 12-1 East Coast time~If you Missed it~ Archives! Updates I put wrong Link to find Archives~

Less than 1 hour I will be on ~Moments of Clarity~ with Tiffany Werhner. Tune in via web from anywhere http://www.tantalk1340.com/

Engage call in with comments, questions! I’ll be promoting my work and up coming books.

So follows please listen and call I would love to get feedback from my follows.

Call 866-826-1340

12-1 today east coast time

If you missed it you can listen to archives of all Tiffanys show ~Moments of Clarity~  at

http://www.internetradiopros.com/momentsofclarity/
Scroll down and you will see the show and the guest names.

See you there my loyal follows call in!!

~Love~

He that loveth not knoweth not God. For God is LOVE! 1 John 4: 8

So love more hate less and don’t ride fences. ~NJM~

So smile you are loved!

~Incase you missed my interview on ~Moments of Clarity~See you on June 15th~

You can listen to me on the radio around the entire world via the link below. I will be with Tiffany once a month to help fight stigma on mental health and empower and bring hope to those who suffer bipolar disorder. ~NJM~
http://internetradiopros.com/momentsofclarity/

TAN-AM 1340 Tampa

WDCF-AM 1350 Dade City

WZHR-AM 1400 Zephyrhills

Listen Live Online: tantalk1340.com

Or….

Momentsofclaritywithtiffany.com

Going live on Tiffany Werhner ~Moments of Clarity~updated~

Recently I was contacted by a wonderful woman Tiffany Werhner who is striving to enlighten and educate those who suffer mental health issues, She sends her message not only to those who are afflicted with the illness of the mind but also those who suffer loss and trauma . She works closely with the Individual to target and find the coping skills necessary to aide in recovery. She goes beyond that to educate and inform those willing to listen, learn, and break mental health stigma. 
What makes Tiffany stand out is she makes herself available and is open to her guest at anytime necessary if need be by calling her personally.
I too am working diligently to strive and successfully share her vision. Tiffany is a psychotherapist with an impressive background in her education and experience. She has the ability to get to the issues’ that are prevalent in her guest life.
Tiffany has her private practice. Unlike most clinical setting she took a step further to create an environment that is more like a guest visiting her home rather than a patient/ client in a clinical office. She strives to make her guest be open, without shame to strengthen and treat the individual to cultivate coping skills,and enhance their quality of life positively.
Tiffany also owns and operates a radio show with a wide range of guest to bring light to a world that still views mental health issues with stigma, and fear.
You can tune in to her show, and call in, she interacts with a diverse group of guest. You can listen to Tiffany Werhner on ” “Moments of Clarity” stationed in Clearwater Florida live on Tan Talk 1340-AM or 106.1-FM, WZHR -AM as well as 104.3-FM or on the Net at 

http://www.tantalk1340.com
She encourages the listeners to call in with questions or concerns.
Should you miss a show you can retrieve them through podcast either by clicking on the programs schedule, then click on the radio show you want to play, by going to 
httpwww.internetradiopros.com
The show airs every Thursday and Friday from 12-1.
I will be a guest on her radio broadcast on June 15th between 12-1, I feel privileged to take part as her guest on the dates above, I also hope to be privileged enough to be on her show monthly to help alleviate stigma and educate those willing to listen and learn.
I have a degree in psychology, I am diagnosed with Bipolar 1 and PTSD. I grew up with two mentally ill parents , I have great insight into many issues Tiffany touches upon on her talk show.
Join us and let’s stand up together to bring hope to those hurting and educate to break the stigma.
I look forward to this awesome opportunity, so I ask all my followers both on my blog and twitter to tune in and be enlightened and feel the hope and love that people like Tiffany and I strive to achieve. I will be going on show once a month I air again on July 13th then again in August I’ll have to look st my schedule to put it in post.

Also we are constantly looking for sponsors every bit helps so please contact me or the radio staton and help our cause if you can sponsor or have ideas on sponsorship thank you for taking time to read this post and be a follower of my work and poetry.

Sincerely

~NJM~