What can I say, It’s been 1 year that I developed this blog. I developed it for several reasons. To educate and bring insight to mental illness and bipolar disorder which I suffer from. Let me rephrase that, that I have been blessed with, yes I said blessed with.

Sure there are times that I suffer, don’t we all suffer at times? Most times we actually bring the suffering upon ourselves….most of the time that is. There are circumstances that occur that we have no control over, and these circumstances can cause distress and pain.

Bipolar however can be used for the beauty and creativity that makes it the “Genius” disorder. Don’t get me wrong, all of us have a inner genius we can tap into, but truth be told some of the greatest people in our eternal history were afflicted with bipolar disorder, great prolific writers, artist, philosophers, inventors to name a few titles that bipolar disorder will forever be attached to.

Bipolar disorder invokes strong passionate feelings about so much. It’s why we have the super highs and the plummeting lows. But when you can find your niche and the right treatment for the illness you can do amazing things. Don’t get me wrong I have my “Silver Lining’s Playbook” moments….the Bradley Cooper Character parts, the ones that you know where you put something and will tear the house down looking for it all the while raging and possibly fits of crying….I also have the insight he had. If you have never seen the movie I highly recommend it. Two people Bradley Cooper plays “Pat” and Jennifer Lawrence plays “Tiffany” both of them suffer mental illness.

Their lives lead the into a cross road that intertwines and brings the two together. It brings two talented crazy ass, beautiful people together. Know what? They fall in love. I have been blessed with a very similar situation in my life. It intertwined with someone that I first saw two years ago at an AA meeting.

What I can say is this, the right person can be amazing and be the balance you may be missing. Am I saying go run out and find someone? Hell No! It’s a natural unexpected occurrence. You never know when are how, but when the timing is right they walk into your life and the puzzle begins to fit and come together.

Am I saying that another person is the answer? Again NO! your answer is to balance,and this can be many other things. But that’s the key. Balance and low to no stress levels. See I was in abusive relationship for several years. Events due to my illness and circumstances beyond my control propelled me forward, and low and behold her I am. Standing up, good people around me. Part time job, with a great boss. A wonderful partner. All I have to finish is this custody battle and the finality to the divorce which will be soon.

Look just like you I am feeling my way around this unexpected and mysterious life, illness….but one thing I will say is “Thank God” for my life has not been a random series of events, oh no..see I have watched things unfold in my lowest moments, and trust I have hit bottom on a few occasions. Each time I watch God maneuver and work all the kinks out. Believe how you chose, but I know what I lived.

Life without belief and faith is a random occurrence of events that have so many variables that there is no cohesive qualities. But a life of faith one rooted in God is a life of destiny and each occurrence brings you one step closer to the true reason you were placed here on this planet. One step closer to Kismet.

I plan to do more writing in this next year, I am still working on a Novel, but until some finalities in my life play out I have put it on the back burner.

I also Plan to continue to advocate and educate for the awareness of mental illness and taking the stigma away, to show others that we are human and we hurt and feel and love just  as they do, just sometime more intensely more passionately. I plan to be a voice in the wilderness of the void, a voice that has no true voice, just random  people here and there willing to admit to or casually speak about their personal struggles. I want to change the concept and understanding of mental illness and especially bipolar disorder.

To those who stop by and read my blog, thank you. To those who follow my blog thanks for your support!

Till my next post, be blessed, stay safe, be well.

Much Love~

NJM~