~Bits of Heaven~A Price So Dearly Paid~

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Little bits of heaven scattered all about~Peppered with indifference and a tad pinch of doubt~

You’re my number 1 blu Ray always on in my head~

Things we done, should have done but never really did~

Still I search rewind and always find little bits of heaven scattered all about peppered with jealousy and a tad bit of doubt~

You’re my mobility, fluidity, lucidity and I have no motion without you.~

So I sit down on the ground gathering up my bits of heaven, separating them from the rip torn shreds of hell~

I keep so still so quiet now, yet I have a story to tell~

For now I’ll play my blu Ray of us the little bits I saved~

The little bits of heaven a price so dearly paid~
NJM~

Not for reproduction~

~My Ghost~

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I want to talk and visit with my Ghost again although I can’t see him I think he’s my friend.

My ghost would always be near right now…. right in here.

I miss the glitches and all things strange at least when around him I don’t go insane.

He has hurt me a few times

He has loved me more too

I know my ghost well…… his name, his game, how he watches each time my life takes a fall.

Wondering if this Women can take it all. The ghost see’s it’s to much and further more scared to touch.

My ghost may not know this but I live very near wonder if me and my ghost cause each other fear…. or hope for a better day one where we actually can meet face to face one day.

This ghost fascination with me may never die also my ghost usually makes me laugh and not cry

What’s sad as I mentioned is you can scare Ghost too, and sometimes the ghost might even be you~

~Sorry experiencing Technical Difficulties~

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Excuse my blog for a few days it has a malfunction in the FIRE WALL! it’s fixed soon thank you~

~Out of Stock~

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Images do not play out as you expected in your mind

You search and no longer find

Me there……….

Here

Look at the photo stare

But you’re a coward

You wouldn’t dare

Take the chance

Trying to steal another glance

Into what do you look each day?

Do you ever pray?

Your alter’s sacrifice needs another offering

Perhaps next time think twice

Before you roll the dice

Stealing away thoughts

Just images is all that is left of me

I am a still shot in your mind

You look through your window

Two windows you see

But you can no longer see me

Only a thought

No longer sold

Can not be bought

Thought~

Not For Reproduction~


~Pillow fight~ Parents~

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His beautiful tactics always full of wonderment
Able to take my tears from falling
Able to remove my mind from crawling into corners of darkness
Pillow fight mom!
Smack upside the corner of my head
Pillows flying
Singing
Dancing
His laughter as it echoes
Throughout the house
Saying angelic words only heard in times of despair
Mom, why are you crying?
No baby don’t worry I’m just sad.
Just sad?
Pillow fight!
Singing
Dancing
Echoes from a past I’ll never recapture
Hopes of another time when I’ll be able to claim his fellowship as mine with me
Pillow fight
Singing
Dancing
His laughter as it echoes
Forever
Love you Mom
Love you too son….

~NJM’s~ Personal Quotes~

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A life lived for another is no life at all. Be yourself~who are you living for?

~Ghost with The Most~NJM~

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I must say I’ve decided to keep my personal beetle juice after all he is the Ghost with the most, plus he can do cool tricks~ just Sayin~

~Coming Soon~

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I haven’t written in awhile and soon I will be writing about why. It is called 101 days of Hell~ and in more contemplative thoughts I’m working on how one can achieve happiness alone….. Yes I said happy and alone in one sentence and it feels good~

~Moods 101~A Must read, especially Bipolar sufferers~

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Welcome to moods 101

Let’s hurry up, get this day done….

These stale corners of this life I live Days like these it’s hard to give… An inch, a mile,a simple smile. I lay in bed and mope awhile.
When emotions are sharp as a knife,And corners lose their curve,

It’s like a resounding screeching noise that sits on my last nerve.
These modes leave few to choose-The only way to try to win is instead to lose. Allowing the funk and muck to slosh all around, blocking out the environment and not allowing sound.
I will allow this feeling to slowly drain me dry, and somewhere in between each take I’ll stop to think and cry.
Then tomorrow like the miracle she always is, will unfold with moods anew… And all these crapy shitty moods will only be a few.

~ You Were~You Are~You Will~Son~

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You were written in my story before I was created

You were sent to bring the love that few often find

You came to teach me many things of which I am still learning

You have this quietness that takes secrecy to another level

You have laughter like no one else and it comes from deep within

Health issues have afflicted you yet you overcome

You have seen ugly that no one should see yet you chose to find the beauty

You create your own world that keeps you safe when safety seems far from reach

You stay silent and still when the moment calls for it

You have fear around you, but God did not give you the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind

You speak up and understand right from wrong and are not afraid to be the voice of reason when you feel brave enough, I understand and know you have been bullied I have been too

You are brave enough; you just don’t know it yet

You are torn in different directions, and I yearn to change this each waking day

You adapt quickly just as I did, life called us to be this way, you blend in when needed

You deserve better than you have received, not in regard to gifts but in regard to consistency and safety I intend to change that

You are confused because things don’t seem right at times yet it remains as it is

You possess the bloodline of a noble namesake and it is why I promised my Dad if I ever had a son, I would carry on his name in honor

You are honor; you are majestic beyond that which can be explained

You will come through this a tougher human a stronger man but with the measure of kindness that will be needed when it is called for

You are slow to speak, in fact you are a son of little words, but when you speak your words are beautiful and timely

You have relatives that share your blood yet they are cowards you are not like them you are not a coward

You are noble and above the superficial and this is what will save you in the end

You miss me, I miss you but this too shall pass

Until then I pray the only influence you have is of Devine origin, straight from God and Angels that encompass you, and as I instructed and did with you each day, I pray you remember each day to pray

You have great reward and favor blessed upon you

You are an angel and I am better because you came into my life

I will never let you go, I will allow God to help me yield, to lead my path

That path leads to you and each and every day I am one step closer

You are my son and I love you

~NJM~