~Walking Away~With My Weirdness intact~

I’m weird

I’m not of this world  🌎

The ether

I’m ethereal

I have lost

To much

The touch

The energy

The love

The essence

The Friends ……as I walked away

I lost it all

Had bills to pay

I lost my son, he is not the boy he was

And now it would seem I must accept I have lost a love I’ll never understand ……. boy to man~

So remember me and I’ll remember you….. yes I know I bit off more than I can chew

I lost the will to continue on

So I’m walking away it’s time to move on

You and I both know

You broke me

Still yet I am here

I’m gonna walk away now gotta learn somehow

You know I know you are with him

Hard headed always was

I’ll see you again in this I’m sure

Remember from this point my intentions pure

But I’m waving goodbye to you
I’m walking away now in this I know

I have to go

Walking away

Catch you on another day, time, place, or another life

These wounds cut like a knife

Looking back once more

Wish you would talk to me once Again, before I close the exit door

As…………………….. I’m

……….walking away~

~Water Fall Dipped Dream~great read!

The most important things are the hardest to say~With that my soul is shattered…..Out of all things in life I’ve lost my mind is the one thing I miss the most…. so go

Catch  my thoughts in between a hazy morning and a rainy afternoon~clouds are optional~ storms inevitable but most interesting indeed~given in to thoughts you now feed~oh how I’ve searched for the lost places my entire life, places where dreams drip over waterfalls…And spectacular colors

To catch the spectrum

Prisms with possibilities

A place to be home

Be with me

Wear your sin

Upon my skin

Laced around the words

That I breathe in~forever floating together in the middle of the ocean………

Lost into one another

Yet so far away~

~Purge~a Great Read~

Purge~
Trying to get the filth off

Within and without

Mind filled with sickening doubt

Walking in circles

Looking for miracles

None have yet manifested

You’re disconcerting

Deception braking connection

Indifference is contagious

Contagious and you’re attitude

Outrageous

Purge

Fighting the urge

To reach out

Yet again

Only to be sickened

By pathogens

Treacherous intent

Your Atoms and neutrons

Electrons spin in swirl

Protons completely out of this world

Yet…….from distance

Mixing within me

I can see

Sickened by your previous deception

Giving birth

bitter conception

To your evil heart vicious

And I’ll always be suspicious

Of why you chose me

Was your vision clouded?

What? You couldn’t see

What a beautiful heart beneath this flesh beating barely in my chest…….

Stop! I’m not returning!

I’m purging you out

Being sure

I stay pure

In heart

Holding this life together

Because you tore it apart

I’ll purge all the urge

To never get close to you again~

Not for Reproduction~

~Learning the Hard Way~Pain~

Drowning in your watered down words~in the sea of suspicions and doubt~
Stunned by your actions your lack of regard reverberates … Breaking sound barriers~
Best let it rest, no it’s not a test, most walked away its was for the best~
My illness is amplified by stress and assholes~
The very stress that assholes like you cause~
Separating myself from this realm

Of reality and dynamics shifting

On a ocean-less drift of emotion~
Cut paper thin then ripped from my personal thoughts not to be written yet spoken~
All that ever was now is broken, is that your beautiful trinket the parts of me you’ve stolen?~
I want it back, I intend to retrieve all you’ve taken I pray now I’ll receive and retrieve… at this particular time of my life it’s time to leave~
If I ever return I’ll know next time not to get burned… In the past trust I had to learn~

~Regret~

Ideological fanaticism The mirror holds the image so tight~

Unable to move out of ones sight~
Hourglass turns and sands starts to drain no longer can time contain~

Life sustain?
Reflections cracked and connection lost~

Guess no one decided to count the cost~
Detached and subdued, Drained, by the need~

All that they long for festers in greed~
How your heart full of art, Beautifully broken will bleed~

While I write these words, You read~in your mind It is I that plants the seeds~
Defining sounds consume all space~The shadows grow larger in this place~Yet disappearing without a trace ~
Grips that shackle the freedom once given~the strength of youth lost to time~Now live on your life walk the fine line~
We swallow their lies~Yet long for truth~
But all is lost, Especially our youth~
By the time you think you arrived~Your life event you barely survived~Often you wish that you just died~
All gone to another not each other~Surely push away forget together~
One day you look back and all that you see were words written …….Scribbles that rhyme but that’s ok fool yourself all is just fine~
Fine you say dear oh Darlin ~Lend me your ear~
When I speak these words, I invoke fear~
So run to your shadows~Hide away fast~
No matter what, I always last~
Rise as I watch you wither away, Longing to late now~How you wish I would stay~
Live now with your choice~Till your dying day~
Regret , remorse spinning the web~
Tears flow down your face onto your pillow then onto your bed~
When your alone you think of me~How we could have been, Let’s others see~
Yet you let me go again, You set me free~
Still you will come again and again~Just wait you’ll see~

~We All Lie~So Get Real~NJM~Anyone Like Truth? Hmm…

“How are you Doing today?”It’s what we all say to each other everyday.
Social situations facial navigation fake smile social niceties.
“Fine, and you, how are you?”
Oh fine.
We share our fake smiles

Waiting in lines

Talking small talk

Ready to move forward now

Ready to walk
Everyday you lie, I lie….Because each day that phrase is a greeting/statement/question all rolled up in one

For the most part

It’s “oui bien sur”

Or a more American way to say it instead of French is

“Yes of course”,Sure I’m fine, oh you are too? great! Have a good day!
Another proclamation of sending each person off with a ” have a good day”
I Personally like to say “have a blessed day and I make eye contact to let them know I see them, I mean what I just said.
“Have a blessed day..”
Being sincere about our feelings publicly is just not normal. We may disturb another human being with the truth such as saying” hey it’s not a good day thus far”.
Be real when you feel that way; say it, and pray it will get better.
Don’t socially lie, it’s what makes us feel as though other little lies aren’t such a bad thing. So we use more.
Perhaps you Don’t want to go somewhere you promised someone that you would go to such as an event or visit. The Majority of us would make up either an “illness”or a “family emergency”.
These are the things we as a society have accepted,which in turn; and in my opinion has diluted every human to some point.
The point of this message is sorry to burst your bubble baby, we are all liars. Now I’m

Gonna try to get through this Holiday and the rest of my life stating my truth. Perhaps if we all did, well then things for damn sure would get real.
Know what, real is what we need for positive change. In my opinion we are far to fake, not enough real.
Resolution of life going forward and note to self ” be real” pray another companion comes into my life with that goal as well. Shouldn’t we all be so fortunate?
Have a Happy Holiday’s everyone , truly much

Love and thanks for stopping by and reading my truth.

PS. My photo is my part of being real makeup free being me. At least half… 😜

~The Art of Being Sorry in 4 Simple Steps~

The art of sorry in 4 easy steps…….

For the majority of us being sorry is something we often feel when we do something wrong. We often forget is that when we truly are sorry and we apologize to the other person with whom we done wrong too we open ourselves up for hurt.

Feeling regret or remorse or sorry is an emotion that humans feel after doing something against their lack of better judgment or against their values or morals…..basically in any circumstances that they should’ve acted differently in.

Previously I stated you open yourself up for hurt when you truly are sorry, you then proceed to tell the person with whom you have wronged that hey “I’m sorry truly sorry”

What happens when you are sorry 1. You say it and 2. Mean it and 3. Leave yourself open to the persons response there are no “but’s” or “Could’s” or “Should’s” or Would’s” 4. There is but one single statement” I am sorry” that is all that should come out of your mouth. Next you should prepare yourself to receive whatever the other person Has to say in response to your contriteness silently listening without excuses.

Lately it appears or so it seems that the majority of relationships that I engage in are all one sided. This makes for a lonely existence. Unfortunately however alone it may feel I am learning that it is necessary to limit those around you who continuously make excuses or are master manipulators at trying to always turn everything into their “reasons for” never truly being sorry , only wanting to explain why they did what they did… see that is not sorry, Or at least where I come from that’s not what I was taught.

So to recap…..don’t ever say that you were sorry unless it is the only three words that you were going to say to the person you wronged,there is no excuse for whatever you’re sorry for that’s why it’s called being sorry….So there it is 4 simple steps to the Art of truly being sorry.

~Please….Don’t Flatter yourself

Don’t flatter yourself Thinking I make every move for you~
Don’t flatter yourself if I ask you many questions, I’m inquisitive by nature~
Don’t flatter yourself thinking you’re the object of my desire~
Don’t flatter yourself by my fascination, a time in my life now gone~
Don’t flatter yourself thinking you could ever find anyone like me, I’m unique and to good for you~
Don’t flatter yourself you definitely are not one of a kind you’re cut from the common cloth The generic design~
Don’t flatter yourself and think your self unique trust its All been done before you’re cut from common cloth~
Don’t flatter yourself thinking you have advanced yourself in life you have not…. job promotions happen all the time~
Don’t flatter yourself you think the world owes you, a sense of entitlement you can’t seem to see just how big your ego can be~ bobble head….
Don’t flatter yourself anymore with regard to me, if you cross my mind I pray and get on with life. I let it be. You judged me was embarrassed by me~
Simply don’t flatter yourself I’m gone now let it be~
Don’t flatter yourself ~

Especially for me..~

~Glorious Victory~Stories Legends are Made of~

Thy kingdom beyond the clouds doth reign~

Shall thy defend this kingdom in vain

Wonderful glory of beauty beseech

Because thy own to far must reach

Horse hooves loudly roar

Upon this ground

Upon the sound

Upon thy mercy lay thy crown

Soldiers tarry and bravely fight

They battle deep into the night

There waits a queen whose faith is shaken~

Her lords crown may soon be taken

Doth people of common understand

That they toil upon stolen land

Beauty of thine yet more to seek

Across the crowds our eyes doth meet~

Horses hooves loudly roar

As knights from battle fight no more

Kingdom bound to feast and dance

Till yet again another chance

To defend thy kingdom

Thy people, thy crown

To defeat that beast come from the ground~

To hear that glorious, victorious sound

To place upon the king his crown

Then yet once more shall thy ascend

To fight this battle yet once again

Because this kingdom I defend!

Because this kingdom I defend!

With glorious victory till bitter end~

Not For Reproduction~