Excuse my blog for a few days it has a malfunction in the FIRE WALL! it’s fixed soon thank you~
Category Archives: Fear
~My Effin Eulogy-My Epitaph~
My Eulogy, My epitaph
Can’t be written
Can’t contain
All the bullshit that Will remain
You know not about silence you have no clue~
You think art a weapon
Used by you?
Ha!
That is funny!
Think your self special my darling My honey~
I can spit out words faster than you think~
Faster than the bottle from ,Which you drink~
Don’t announce yourself to me
Tell me your ~I’m back”~
You’re the fire the lightening, Really is that a fact?
Or more bullshit you concote, Damn what a shock~
Not really your predictable you see?
If I want to see then I will, Otherwise should’ve let it be
Hacking my blog!
Think it’s cool?
All that college all that school, And to think I think you nothing more than a fool~
So you crack a code, Mix a spell,All that shit go to hell~
The jewel you found, Fascinated were you~
But you did see, That I can view, Things unseen, Feel you too~
I have a gift given at birth, Some say a blessing ,I often think it a curse~
So trend your words ,Algorithm and stride ,Get ready my Darling,For your big ride~
I could write and write, Forever you see especially,When it’s about you And me~
I’m lyrically gifted as well its seems, I take one simple word make it a dream……
Or a nightmare to frighten to scare To remind all who know me, Best beware~
There is not another you Know like me, but I know others exist….
I live in the know, Just as the tides ebb and flow~
Some say I’m a Cather of Catherism, no protest! But they do nonetheless~
My Tribe are the shaman, oracles of old.. Catherism….lights shine through the glass of a church like a prism~
Make others wonder how this is so, Art is no weapon!
Ha!
It’s a beautiful dance, It is what I am, What I will always be~
My epitaph~
My Eulogy~
I’m living,You see~
I forgot you know not, Blinded by ego~
A hurt that is fake, You go crawl the earth now, You scorpion snake~
#######
~Old Soul~NJM~
Old soul
Traveling through constellation
Transcending the normality
Searching for the landing
Awkward understanding
This life is unexpected
I am a visitor
I visited before
Returned
Did I leave something
Important to remember
My past life?
How many times did I incarnate?
It’s my old soul or is it?
Yes, it’s what will make me whole , the pieces of my old soul scattered all about,
Collecting each piece without doubt that lessons learned often seer the scrapes and wounds will burn.
There I was
Yet again
I know you
You’re a really old friend
Old soul
Always young
Never really growing old
These bits and pieces of old souls
We wear
But it’s the lessons we learned that we all now bare
Old soul~
~NJM’s~ Personal Quotes~
A life lived for another is no life at all. Be yourself~who are you living for?
~The Chase~
I’m not gonna chase you not anymore, I’m no longer praying you will Want to walk through My door to stay with me forever more ~
I’m not gonna chase you ,It’s not worth fight Or even the plight I see you now clearly in the light You will no longer invade my mind in the day and the night~
I’m not gonna chase you hoping you’ll see the precious amazing Thing that is me, you’re ignorant can’t you see, oh yeah that’s right you can’t see what is the magic the beauty of me~
I’m not gonna chase you it’s not needed, if this was real because if you felt as I felt you would feel as I feel~
I’m not gonna chase not anyone anymore I’m not gonna be some part time whore trust in this I’m worth much oh so much more
I’m not gonna chase you, Even when I hurt and I pray Eventually someone will see me for the beauty I am, in that moment too I will see the beauty in them~
So when you miss the bits and pieces others miss, remember you allowed me in, as I did you, Thinking somehow you would be true It will be your loss and my ultimate and eventual win~
As the sun rises in the east sets in the west the chase is over time to give it a rest. I know in my heart I’ve bewitched you and swim in your blood invade your thoughts and you will feel lost for testing this game you truly won’t ever be the same, as will I, won’t you see that it’s not really you now it’s really about me~
You’ll never forget me My touch my voice The sweat the heat Especially my name I knew in the beginning the rules of the game But I’m too old for games At this point of my life I don’t need the pressure I don’t need the strife~
I’m not playing this game Not this time around or anytime other, I’m dropping out eventually I’ll find a true forever a real lover, The key that will fit to think I once thought you might have been it~
I’m not a temporary kinda woman, I’m a lady you see, I’m the stick to each other holding hands forever Against the grain of society Making my rules I can’t stand Pre fashioned People they are the fools~
Take heed in what I’m saying to you don’t let your vanity make you a bigger fool all that is vain ,Lives both in and out in the end all fades without a doubt then what are you left? A shell of a man, that couldn’t see once what he had in his hands.
Now go live your life in vain You’re not like me, you’re not the same and trust in this I’ll forget you and your name, you’ll find However you will never forget mine not now or forever Throughout time~
But thanks for the lesson Play chess oh the game I’ll never be the same This is for sure Now watch as I leave As I walk away through The door~
Notes in Pockets~
Drama
Fear is collected
Like tiny notes unread in your pockets
Are you afraid to pull each one out and read it?
Will it invoke fear
Causing and provoking Drama to appear?
Self prophetic are we, believe in your fear, it will soon be your reality, or be healthy be strong let there be no fear I don’t collect notes in my pockets un opened, the drama each phrase written appears and it causes you to fear.
My oh my
The drama, negativity and fear.
I live strong. I live as I was called to, although it’s not always sufficient it provides me shelter
You may see me as foolish more like adventurous
Not a dull moment indeed
I am my fathers daughter a hybrid fragmented breed
I don’t carry little notes in my pockets unopened unread
I sure don’t need Your fear near me or my life or even my head
And I sure don’t leave little tiny notes in my pockets unread
Leaving unanswered questions in your head
And all is in your head yet, you still carry tiny notes all tangled and tied up in thread in your pockets unread.
~Coming Soon~
I haven’t written in awhile and soon I will be writing about why. It is called 101 days of Hell~ and in more contemplative thoughts I’m working on how one can achieve happiness alone….. Yes I said happy and alone in one sentence and it feels good~
~Moods 101~A Must read, especially Bipolar sufferers~
Welcome to moods 101
Let’s hurry up, get this day done….
These stale corners of this life I live Days like these it’s hard to give… An inch, a mile,a simple smile. I lay in bed and mope awhile.
When emotions are sharp as a knife,And corners lose their curve,
It’s like a resounding screeching noise that sits on my last nerve.
These modes leave few to choose-The only way to try to win is instead to lose. Allowing the funk and muck to slosh all around, blocking out the environment and not allowing sound.
I will allow this feeling to slowly drain me dry, and somewhere in between each take I’ll stop to think and cry.
Then tomorrow like the miracle she always is, will unfold with moods anew… And all these crapy shitty moods will only be a few.
~Never say Never Ever~
Never say never or never will come knocking on your door, maybe not today, or next week or next year, still you ache the fear of Never….oh the trepidation the human condition~
Never is unwanted ….mostly however visiting is something never will do to me, will do to you. So please never say never~
It’s the bones of skeletons you dance with and sleep with in the back of your mind~
Never is that closet locked away, so jumbled that one inch of the door opening it would tumble out pouring all the crap all the hurt all the rejection you Never wanted.. yet you have, you did, ever since you were a kid~
Never is the fear of ever as ever is the fear of never canceling each other yet suspended in a harmonious dance
with karmatic presence and essence of all lessons….. the ones that pick and stick and prick and cut stabbing away chipping the dirt, debis
……. you don’t have the broom to sweep in under the carpet
You don’t even have carpet it can’t be rinsed or washed away why? Cause Never is here to stay…it Never goes away,it never dies~
So never say never or expect that knock on your door now and evermore. Never is as sure as Ever and together they’re an unbeatable team at least that is how it always seems~
Never say never~Ever……
Quotes~NJM~Hold Fast~
Taking steps away is easy, standing still is hard~
~ONB~Orange is the New Black~Netflix
Bipolar Tapestry~Poetic Thoughts 