More happy love! more happy, happy love!
May we all be so fortunate and happy~NJM<
Category Archives: Faith
~Fallen Angel~Unbridled Human~Great Read~
Going back to that instant you know the exact moment you feel the paradigm shift.The tectonic plates in your personal universe your sphere, Reposition and the alignment of what you had been is no longer.
My magic is in my words sir where do you conjure the notion of believing or wanting to know? So you want to know truly what I felt?
Like a light switch was turned off and another turned on. I felt cold. Basically like the fairy tails tell of Vampires changing from human form to vampire form.
My body ached and I continued on working in a complete terror,waiting on them till my breath began to be so shallow.
In that moment I was different. It was different. In total lucidity I realized in that moment that one of me died and another came right back to life.
And this feeling is less than desirable. My heart hardly beats. That’s what it’s like dear Sir.
Further more where were you my good man? surely you understand ?
Yeah probably not. Here come closer feel this disease ……what do you feel a bit at ease? Perhaps the contrary?
There was a beauty
An angel
Shot down in flight
The white mans world
There she was stuck
Shot down because she didn’t follow direction~
She was to curious, young, learning…. but she felt fearsome~
Traveled to far thinking she needed no protection~
Life snatched her in vulnerable state~
Now
She is living like a human~
She is aging as a human~
Dying like a human~
Just like a human~
How sad the process is in reverse or is it?
Sadly yes~
~NJM~Quotes~ Humanity~
Look at history, Mans inhumanity to man proves the very nature of mankind is defective~NJM~
~Views of God And Lacking Conviction~
Had a conversation not long ago with a dear friend I met via Quora, we have talked a bit through emails.
He was once a Christian, he now has abandoned his faith for the choice of being an Atheist.
We none the less still communicate… Not as often lately but none the less he has made a positive impact upon me, and although we have had some deep, deep discussion on things of spiritual nature, God, the lack thereof, we always walk away knowing we will be close although our views of God are different. With him being the lack of a God, with me believing in God. It’s a touchy subject you see, religious, political, racial, sexualpreference…poverty.. You get the picture. I’m am not gonna tag him, he will know when he reads this.. That it was my answer to a debate or conversation of sorts about why I believe in God. He sent a photo one day via email as part of an unfinished conversation the following words you will read was my response to the photo and what was(We finally To Just Agree toDisagree) our on going philosophical discussion of things such as atheism, theism, monotheism, pandiabolism( Fredrick Neitzsche actual stance was pandiabolism) Sorry I don’t have photo
Yes, I see that, and what I’ll say is there will always be what you see above in those pictures, as long as you reside on this earth.This earth is governed by the law of free will. You are aware of this? I’m certain you are. Do you understand the law? That I’m not sure. You want to believe that God does not exist. I understand this, however I also see a conflict in you ,a reflection so to speak. You want others to validate your belief. Why? Because if morepeople share your belief it makes it real for you. That’s fine. As long as we are here in this realm, on this earth, we will continue to see pain and suffering. God will not intervene where he has given men charge. This earth was given over to humans long ago. The challenge with the above picture is for those same men to rise up and use the power of will, the power God gave to change the above picture. This of course will never happen on earth, why? Because our conversation is a pure example. We can’t agree.Because there is not a firm and positive agreement, and never has been, therefore conflict, strife, discord, suffering and pain, will all exist… That is as long as humans are left to there own devices, to govern their own will. Which God did do. Change for the above photo will only occur if everyone agrees… Which will not happen, as previously stated. Life is not a one size fits all. If it were, it would be boring, if we never knew suffering, then we could never understand the beauty and joy, vice versa. I’m always gonna have a rebuttal as you will too, why? Because as I beautifully stated… We won’t agree. That’s the sadness of it all.
But it is life here on earth. It is what it is. Accept it or don’t. It’s all down to a choice, a view.
~Please Read~
I first want to thank you all my WordPress follows, my success depends greatly on you and the content I produce. Think of me as a news reporter difference is I report on breaking stigma on mental illness , and I report incidents I feel others can learn from that I have had happen to me. So I am a writer blogger, personal,reporter.
Next……. yesterday my perpetrator left comments on my post trying to threaten me and so forth and his games are old now I pray I always stay two steps ahead of him.
What I say is if you don’t like what I write or the subject of what I write about, don’t read my blog. It bares repeating If YOU DON’T LIKE MY BLOG DON’T VISIT IT NOR READ IT or COMMENTj (I will just trash it) It’s my site and my freedom of speech.
To all my supporters thank you for your prayers and positive energy thank you for reading And hearing me, and definitely for following..
~NJM~
~She Fell~New~
She fell
Life was hell
Running like mad
Circles
Sad
Scorn
Shame
Was it a game
Her mind not the same
She fell
Tripped over foot
Zig zag she skipped
Trying to flip
Take her hurt
Burry in dirt
She is touched
The unseen realm
Angels
Demons
Lurk
Whispers of a time
That left
Return once again
To guide her
She fell
And Angels pick her up
Making the atmosphere
Thick
Surreal
She fell to her knees
Begging the Lord
Please
She Fell
But life no longer will be hell
She got up
Stood strong
Long
Waited
Like a missile
Shooting star
Coming straight for you
No matter how far
Targets
What you are?
What are you?
Or
Wait didn’t she fall
She fell
From a life on earth
From the living hell
She listened she prayed
Was picked plucked
You imagine the next line
It’s yours to fill in
Watch now your face if it turns to a grin
Sin
If you feel her longing her strength
The power she was given to go any length
After all
She fell
Tore through Hell
Lives in the truth
Hates all the lies
Conditions
Red tape
How did the world get so
Out of shape
No wonder……
Not for reproduction~
~I’ll Always be~Mystery….My words…I did not put this here~
I’ll always be wanting the unrequited love~
I’ll always be the piece that don’t fit~
I’ll always be looking for that character defect to see, if it exist in you then it also exist in me~
I’ll always hurry with no place to rest~
I’ll always be able to run with the best~
I’ll always be watching, looking. But I will not settle.
Perhaps my soul is turning into metal. Heart made of steal, maybe baby I’m to damn real.
I’ll always will believe there is a God~
I’ll always have illness of the mind this makes it hard to find my kind~
I’ll always fall into dick sand if I’m not watchful of intent. Where the hell this one went~
I’ll always try to discipline my self in ways many won’t understand~
I’ll remain celibate and untouched even by me till I find that man~
I’ll buy a beach shack if he never shows up, pour my coffee in my cup work on my Novels and be married to Neptune king of the sea, on the shoreline walking that’s where I’ll always be~
~Retribution~ great read!
Often you hear that Karma is a bitch, that they’ll get theirs. “Who gives them the bill?” I asked in prayer one day, hear is what I heard God say “you don’t need to do nothing, most of the time I do it for you, but there are times I give you the strength for you to see it through.”I decide when and who you collect the bill, unless I tell you to then best stay still. ” so I am the instrument you use sometimes I get the ideas from you the Devine? Yes my child that is correct and don’t for get what to collect and always remember we don’t take checks”
I laughed out loud when I heard this at first God has a sense of humor I thought as I continued to pray, then I heard when the time comes you will know who must pay, I don’t allow much of this type of collection to be done but for some my child that day will come don’t deviate from my plan as I will use you for retribution with my Devine hand~NJM~
Not for Reproduction~
~When to get a new Psychiatrist~Bipolar Issue~
Immediately seek the help of another psychiatricist.
If you are aware that your about to be smacked dab in the middle of a manic episode, yet your doctor is clueless get to at least two more and one will have a clue.
I am in a mixed episode right now. I can’t decide which is worse full blown mania( which coincidently can be fun because your filter is skewed) or is the bowels of despair and hopeless abandonment.
God I’ve walked through so much in my illness. I am able to finally see my patterns.
You know you better than anyone, do you have a support system in place? Extremely important to have people who can tell you they see the changes.
Bipolar is a very serious condition that will rob you your life and will go with you to the grave, so care for it, embrace, but mostly manage with kit gloves.
Good Luck, God Speed.
NJM
~The Non Traditional Christian & Being Bipolar~NJM~
I used to use twitter a lot. The above tweet is one dear to me, and although it may have not received attention as others tweets, it is a true statement about the perils of Bipolar disorder.
Lately I write a bit less, and with that I notice less “Likes” on my post. I get lots of “shares” but no one I follow seems to be touched by my words. Not touched enough to “like”or moved enough to comment.
I wrote about courage recently and one other person like it, it was shared among facebook 4 times. Guess what? I don’t care. It’s not about the “likes” or even the shares. It’s about my expression of feelings that I feel I need to convey. It’s about courage. If someone gets something from it, then my work is done. If no one gets nothing from it, my work is still done. Why, you ask? Because I received something from it. I purged a thought, feeling, or a need to express. I found courage to write. To share.
Sure my prayer is to inspire, to teach, to eventually become a great writer, a best-selling author. Sure I am also an unorthodox oxymoron as well. A contradictions of sorts. Does the bible not indeed contradict as well? Yes. Indeed it does. Why? It’s left open to interpretation that is why.
I am the church, not a building. I don’t fellowship in a brick and mortar tower that cost millions to build. No. I fellowship with those I see daily at work. I try to encourage and lead by example, to wish everyone a blessed day. Should we all be as fortunate? indeed.
I have a calling on my life, I knew this while serving a year in jail at age 19. I just was not sure what it was. I did at one time have the ability to give prophecy. I lost that as time went by. I see bits and pieces still, but only when I draw near to God. I often fall short in that category. But I get up and try again. Never stop trying.
I am non traditional. Never wanted to be like what I had been exposed to. However, I fell short at times. Fitting in seems important at certain stages of life, so we compromise our true nature that God instilled in us to fit in.
Some would say ” if God exist why does so much bad happen? why are you bipolar, so on so forth…
I’ve examined this many times. There is a passage in the bible that states that many mysteries are yet to be revealed. That we have not the mind of God therefore we know not what God knows. What I will say is these two words “Free Will” it was ours the moment we entered this world. Our will is powerful if we use it. The problem is many use their will for exploiting and hurting others. The weaker minds allow for this to happen, and then bad things happen.
You may say then “What of illness, disease? Again I have no exact answer. What I can say, is some of the greatest and inspiring stories are about those who are ill. I am ill. My son is ill, he has type 1 diabetes and Aspergers. Wow he is a testimony of taking his illness and turning it into testimony. He made honor roll recently. He is in 6th grade. He is part of my personal testimony, for he is my son. Train up a child in the way they should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. {Proverbs 22:6}
My God, I can’t believe that I was basically married at his age. Yes, you heard me. I married 48 days after I turned 14. I had just turned 14!!! Who would allow such in a modern society, abuse and illness from my Mother propelled me to such. To much degree all are ill. I don’t hide my illness. I am open so that others may learn from my experience.
Think of me as a generic Christian my set of values and standards may be different from yours, but we are all indeed human. We can go further in our future as a race and our beliefs if we begin to look at each other as another “human” and be that. A human being.
Our imagination has a myriad of possibilities we project which eventually molds our future possibilities which lay before each of us.
In order to make a difference we must engage our conscious to the voice of God and the nature of heart to man/human.
So this day as I pray, I pray for you, as I ask you pray for me…..like a pay it forward prayer act.
I leave you with my bipolar thoughts now…
The heart may be the bodies strongest muscle but it’s also most fragile for all its strength it is also the weakest how’s that for irony?
As previously stated…..
Imagination is the myriad of possibilities we project and mold our future possibilities that lay before each of us.
We must engage our conscious, it too is the voice of God and the nature of heart in man.
So I reach out I hear the song of angels whispering……
I’m there for you
Expecting nothing in return, &
The amazing melodies of nature that only God can sing
The ability to hear it once again. May we all be so fortunate.
Thanks for reading my bipolar non traditional Christian thoughts.
~NJM~
Bipolar Tapestry~Poetic Thoughts 