~Without faith life events are a random occurrence. With faith there is less occurrence replaced with direct action~Stay grounded~NJM~
Hebrews 11:1 For faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen~The bible~
Category Archives: Dreams
~Nicole~Unyielding~ Triumphed~My Hand in Gods~
I am a delicate rose 🌹 in the month of May, However my thorns although hidden, will flare out and remind others I am not an easy fight. And fight you I will.
I will leave you quickly and move on should I feel you’re not worthy of a love/friendship of mine.
I ………truly Lord am not asking too much, I just want someone to make me feel… feel again, the warmth of them on cold nights. Too connect and help heal the whole in my heart ❤️ created by a trust that was broken~
I was choking on my own words listening to the excuses being made around me, choking trying to say let it be.
I have a gaurdian and it protects me… I don’t always accept its help instead I jump and run then later I wish I had a pistol a gun then I could literally put a whole in my heart I could be done with this world 🌎 it tore me apart~
But it won’t let me, it whispers in my ear that now is not the time but it will stay near to catch me when I fall, softly and I cry and I ask it why. Just be still for once stop running a race stay on track with a steady pace. It you see… is God in me. Be still my child I will redeem the time for you, restore what was lost, you done your raging, you paid your cost. A reward awaits you , you will see I am with you and your always with me~
I was inspired by a piece of work from Zachary K.Douglas…
~Fallen Angel~Unbridled Human~Great Read~
Going back to that instant you know the exact moment you feel the paradigm shift.The tectonic plates in your personal universe your sphere, Reposition and the alignment of what you had been is no longer.
My magic is in my words sir where do you conjure the notion of believing or wanting to know? So you want to know truly what I felt?
Like a light switch was turned off and another turned on. I felt cold. Basically like the fairy tails tell of Vampires changing from human form to vampire form.
My body ached and I continued on working in a complete terror,waiting on them till my breath began to be so shallow.
In that moment I was different. It was different. In total lucidity I realized in that moment that one of me died and another came right back to life.
And this feeling is less than desirable. My heart hardly beats. That’s what it’s like dear Sir.
Further more where were you my good man? surely you understand ?
Yeah probably not. Here come closer feel this disease ……what do you feel a bit at ease? Perhaps the contrary?
There was a beauty
An angel
Shot down in flight
The white mans world
There she was stuck
Shot down because she didn’t follow direction~
She was to curious, young, learning…. but she felt fearsome~
Traveled to far thinking she needed no protection~
Life snatched her in vulnerable state~
Now
She is living like a human~
She is aging as a human~
Dying like a human~
Just like a human~
How sad the process is in reverse or is it?
Sadly yes~
~If You Wore my Shoes to Anyone who Caused harm to me or my Son~
My shoes carry me through the world
I see you lost grasping for air sucking up my space
You feed upon yourself remaining transfixed upon the life spent feeding the masses dreams denying yourself all the while in the spotlight and you should walk in my shoes
The road ahead it’s a curve with a caution light flashing My shoes are worn but…………….
There is rest area ahead but I’m not tired
These shoes allow me to get to my destination, these shoes know the way, there on my feet and that’s where they’ll stay
I’m the lioness pacing fiercely beyond your shallow walls, and one sided dreams
Razor sharp precision is scarce compared to the cutting claws that scrape away all your defenses
As evil as bat in a dark cave when cornered, the demon that lives tucked in the back of your mind
The cold breeze that sends chills up your spine
The leopard on high alert in a dare like stance protecting her cubs
The stillness you’ve yet to experience, the turmoil that you long to touch
The angelic comfort sought in times of trouble, yielding strength that you are deprived of
The voice that will never stop speaking, the one whose words will live on long after I’m gone
The torn soul pieces strewn about. With the ability to sustain peace within any storm
The threads, the shriveled up shredded threads that somehow work, and hold the fabrics of my life
I rise like a phoenix and…….
Gracefully Will I pass you by, peacefully I’ll look into your eye and you will then know you’ve stood in my shoes~
~Views of God And Lacking Conviction~
Had a conversation not long ago with a dear friend I met via Quora, we have talked a bit through emails.
He was once a Christian, he now has abandoned his faith for the choice of being an Atheist.
We none the less still communicate… Not as often lately but none the less he has made a positive impact upon me, and although we have had some deep, deep discussion on things of spiritual nature, God, the lack thereof, we always walk away knowing we will be close although our views of God are different. With him being the lack of a God, with me believing in God. It’s a touchy subject you see, religious, political, racial, sexualpreference…poverty.. You get the picture. I’m am not gonna tag him, he will know when he reads this.. That it was my answer to a debate or conversation of sorts about why I believe in God. He sent a photo one day via email as part of an unfinished conversation the following words you will read was my response to the photo and what was(We finally To Just Agree toDisagree) our on going philosophical discussion of things such as atheism, theism, monotheism, pandiabolism( Fredrick Neitzsche actual stance was pandiabolism) Sorry I don’t have photo
Yes, I see that, and what I’ll say is there will always be what you see above in those pictures, as long as you reside on this earth.This earth is governed by the law of free will. You are aware of this? I’m certain you are. Do you understand the law? That I’m not sure. You want to believe that God does not exist. I understand this, however I also see a conflict in you ,a reflection so to speak. You want others to validate your belief. Why? Because if morepeople share your belief it makes it real for you. That’s fine. As long as we are here in this realm, on this earth, we will continue to see pain and suffering. God will not intervene where he has given men charge. This earth was given over to humans long ago. The challenge with the above picture is for those same men to rise up and use the power of will, the power God gave to change the above picture. This of course will never happen on earth, why? Because our conversation is a pure example. We can’t agree.Because there is not a firm and positive agreement, and never has been, therefore conflict, strife, discord, suffering and pain, will all exist… That is as long as humans are left to there own devices, to govern their own will. Which God did do. Change for the above photo will only occur if everyone agrees… Which will not happen, as previously stated. Life is not a one size fits all. If it were, it would be boring, if we never knew suffering, then we could never understand the beauty and joy, vice versa. I’m always gonna have a rebuttal as you will too, why? Because as I beautifully stated… We won’t agree. That’s the sadness of it all.
But it is life here on earth. It is what it is. Accept it or don’t. It’s all down to a choice, a view.
~She Fell~New~
She fell
Life was hell
Running like mad
Circles
Sad
Scorn
Shame
Was it a game
Her mind not the same
She fell
Tripped over foot
Zig zag she skipped
Trying to flip
Take her hurt
Burry in dirt
She is touched
The unseen realm
Angels
Demons
Lurk
Whispers of a time
That left
Return once again
To guide her
She fell
And Angels pick her up
Making the atmosphere
Thick
Surreal
She fell to her knees
Begging the Lord
Please
She Fell
But life no longer will be hell
She got up
Stood strong
Long
Waited
Like a missile
Shooting star
Coming straight for you
No matter how far
Targets
What you are?
What are you?
Or
Wait didn’t she fall
She fell
From a life on earth
From the living hell
She listened she prayed
Was picked plucked
You imagine the next line
It’s yours to fill in
Watch now your face if it turns to a grin
Sin
If you feel her longing her strength
The power she was given to go any length
After all
She fell
Tore through Hell
Lives in the truth
Hates all the lies
Conditions
Red tape
How did the world get so
Out of shape
No wonder……
Not for reproduction~
~I’ll Always be~Mystery….My words…I did not put this here~
I’ll always be wanting the unrequited love~
I’ll always be the piece that don’t fit~
I’ll always be looking for that character defect to see, if it exist in you then it also exist in me~
I’ll always hurry with no place to rest~
I’ll always be able to run with the best~
I’ll always be watching, looking. But I will not settle.
Perhaps my soul is turning into metal. Heart made of steal, maybe baby I’m to damn real.
I’ll always will believe there is a God~
I’ll always have illness of the mind this makes it hard to find my kind~
I’ll always fall into dick sand if I’m not watchful of intent. Where the hell this one went~
I’ll always try to discipline my self in ways many won’t understand~
I’ll remain celibate and untouched even by me till I find that man~
I’ll buy a beach shack if he never shows up, pour my coffee in my cup work on my Novels and be married to Neptune king of the sea, on the shoreline walking that’s where I’ll always be~
~Retribution~ great read!
Often you hear that Karma is a bitch, that they’ll get theirs. “Who gives them the bill?” I asked in prayer one day, hear is what I heard God say “you don’t need to do nothing, most of the time I do it for you, but there are times I give you the strength for you to see it through.”I decide when and who you collect the bill, unless I tell you to then best stay still. ” so I am the instrument you use sometimes I get the ideas from you the Devine? Yes my child that is correct and don’t for get what to collect and always remember we don’t take checks”
I laughed out loud when I heard this at first God has a sense of humor I thought as I continued to pray, then I heard when the time comes you will know who must pay, I don’t allow much of this type of collection to be done but for some my child that day will come don’t deviate from my plan as I will use you for retribution with my Devine hand~NJM~
Not for Reproduction~
~The Non Traditional Christian & Being Bipolar~NJM~
I used to use twitter a lot. The above tweet is one dear to me, and although it may have not received attention as others tweets, it is a true statement about the perils of Bipolar disorder.
Lately I write a bit less, and with that I notice less “Likes” on my post. I get lots of “shares” but no one I follow seems to be touched by my words. Not touched enough to “like”or moved enough to comment.
I wrote about courage recently and one other person like it, it was shared among facebook 4 times. Guess what? I don’t care. It’s not about the “likes” or even the shares. It’s about my expression of feelings that I feel I need to convey. It’s about courage. If someone gets something from it, then my work is done. If no one gets nothing from it, my work is still done. Why, you ask? Because I received something from it. I purged a thought, feeling, or a need to express. I found courage to write. To share.
Sure my prayer is to inspire, to teach, to eventually become a great writer, a best-selling author. Sure I am also an unorthodox oxymoron as well. A contradictions of sorts. Does the bible not indeed contradict as well? Yes. Indeed it does. Why? It’s left open to interpretation that is why.
I am the church, not a building. I don’t fellowship in a brick and mortar tower that cost millions to build. No. I fellowship with those I see daily at work. I try to encourage and lead by example, to wish everyone a blessed day. Should we all be as fortunate? indeed.
I have a calling on my life, I knew this while serving a year in jail at age 19. I just was not sure what it was. I did at one time have the ability to give prophecy. I lost that as time went by. I see bits and pieces still, but only when I draw near to God. I often fall short in that category. But I get up and try again. Never stop trying.
I am non traditional. Never wanted to be like what I had been exposed to. However, I fell short at times. Fitting in seems important at certain stages of life, so we compromise our true nature that God instilled in us to fit in.
Some would say ” if God exist why does so much bad happen? why are you bipolar, so on so forth…
I’ve examined this many times. There is a passage in the bible that states that many mysteries are yet to be revealed. That we have not the mind of God therefore we know not what God knows. What I will say is these two words “Free Will” it was ours the moment we entered this world. Our will is powerful if we use it. The problem is many use their will for exploiting and hurting others. The weaker minds allow for this to happen, and then bad things happen.
You may say then “What of illness, disease? Again I have no exact answer. What I can say, is some of the greatest and inspiring stories are about those who are ill. I am ill. My son is ill, he has type 1 diabetes and Aspergers. Wow he is a testimony of taking his illness and turning it into testimony. He made honor roll recently. He is in 6th grade. He is part of my personal testimony, for he is my son. Train up a child in the way they should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. {Proverbs 22:6}
My God, I can’t believe that I was basically married at his age. Yes, you heard me. I married 48 days after I turned 14. I had just turned 14!!! Who would allow such in a modern society, abuse and illness from my Mother propelled me to such. To much degree all are ill. I don’t hide my illness. I am open so that others may learn from my experience.
Think of me as a generic Christian my set of values and standards may be different from yours, but we are all indeed human. We can go further in our future as a race and our beliefs if we begin to look at each other as another “human” and be that. A human being.
Our imagination has a myriad of possibilities we project which eventually molds our future possibilities which lay before each of us.
In order to make a difference we must engage our conscious to the voice of God and the nature of heart to man/human.
So this day as I pray, I pray for you, as I ask you pray for me…..like a pay it forward prayer act.
I leave you with my bipolar thoughts now…
The heart may be the bodies strongest muscle but it’s also most fragile for all its strength it is also the weakest how’s that for irony?
As previously stated…..
Imagination is the myriad of possibilities we project and mold our future possibilities that lay before each of us.
We must engage our conscious, it too is the voice of God and the nature of heart in man.
So I reach out I hear the song of angels whispering……
I’m there for you
Expecting nothing in return, &
The amazing melodies of nature that only God can sing
The ability to hear it once again. May we all be so fortunate.
Thanks for reading my bipolar non traditional Christian thoughts.
~NJM~
~Lovers Eternal Dance Part 2~{Destiny’s Dance~}
Will not be denied
Ignored, nor exploited~
Represent with respect
Keep your intentions in check~
Takng caution as not walk the same path~ I expect this time love Will last~
Quiet the mind~
Hoping to find~
Someone kind~
Refuge is obscure but can be found
both up above as well as the ground~
Learning to be quiet is to not make a sound~
To hide away~
Never be found~
You unravel me, trying to coerce my heart, Beckoning me to play the part
Your style and finesse is likened unto art~
But you need to be informed that I can not be bought~Traded or bartered, I’m your plant that needs to be watered.~
I will not sell out, nor walk in fear
The fruition of what is us is now drawing near~
An eclipse of circumstance
Longing closure Kismets dance~
This dance is not quick, oh no it Will stick, Around dancing and swaying to our cosmic sound.. Orbiting, Resonating
More than chance to finally dance
Indeed it’s time to dance my love
To dance~
So no more hiding away come out of dark corners and with me stay~
I’m finding it hard to live each day
I’ve walked hell and high water wouldn’t you say?
Silently pray~
For you~
For us~
For them~
Indeed we must share
longing and separation
Causes despair~
Nonetheless together we’re an unbeatable pair~
Demi Gods among mortals
Desiring our skill~ only time Will tell Wouldn’t you say, or is it merely skill that Will flow with love never wanting to kill~
They long for a moment to Experience our thrill~
Always more than by chance to meet Yet again to fulfill Kismets Dance~
Let’s Dance
I’ll put on my red shoes as Bowie would say~
You put on your suit and tie
Then dance this dance until we both die…
Still never saying goodbye. Eternally~
Not for reproduction~
NJM~
Bipolar Tapestry~Poetic Thoughts 