~Old Soul~NJM~

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Old soul

Traveling through constellation
Transcending the normality
Searching for the landing
Awkward understanding
This life is unexpected
I am a visitor
I visited before
Returned
Did I leave something
Important to remember
My past life?
How many times did I incarnate?
It’s my old soul or is it?
Yes, it’s what will make me whole , the pieces of my old soul scattered all about,

Collecting each piece without doubt that lessons learned often seer the scrapes and wounds will burn.
There I was
Yet again
I know you
You’re a really old friend
Old soul
Always young
Never really growing old
These bits and pieces of old souls
We wear
But it’s the lessons we learned that we all now bare
Old soul~

~NJM’s~ Personal Quotes~

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A life lived for another is no life at all. Be yourself~who are you living for?

~Restless Bipolar Thoughts~

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Bipolar mind

Machinations

Eclectic mind

So random without order

Content unknown

Images flash

Strewn about thoughts

Racing fast,

Flooding my brain invading

Concepts to conceptualize

Twisting

There is no pause

No stillness

To much to contemplate

Subjects subjective

Bursting

Perception yet perceived

Intent

Only to be Crystallized

~No Reprieve~

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There is no reprieve
No procrastination

No forgiveness

Not here
You pay

Everyday

No reprieve

No holding back

No return
There is no reprieve

No understanding

Ignorance

Lack of tolerance

Pain is the fuel

In devils delight

No reprieve

No sabitacal

No leave

What does one think

Drinking the poison

In the mind

So many like this

So many my kind

Keep in step

Forget the time

Remember…..
You pay

Every day

And beauty

And death

Have their way

~Random Effects of You~Updated~I Felt it today~

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Random effects of you Wash over me there is no warning nor a clue

This phenomenon you invoked in me couldn’t see it coming ’twas nothing there to see

Only a burning desire of you and me

Blindsided pulsating sound washing down of warm all over me all around

Still I search but you are never to be found

Yet I know you’re around~

Random effects of you~

Not for Reproduction~NJM

 ~Eradicating Rotting Existence~

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Fearless thy eyes doth search yet fear grips~

Hollow shell of thy existence doth shake still filled with entitlement~

Horrifying lies spew forth as distance grows believing in thy lies~

Spinning through tunnels off balance yet walking a line of deceit~

Doth thy mind play tricks?

Thy judgment mitigates causing confusion~

Hands held outward beckoning solidarity yet filled ? Thy crawleth cowardly through these corridors surely thy know thine way~

Inordinate perceptions flys high above far reaching yet right in front of thine~ah so beseeching~

Clenching thy fist forbearing actions tainted quickening haste and for what? Thy gain?

Equivocal form thy life disreputable~Hallow lacking luster,

Doth thy remain critical? Ah yes I see thy will always be~

Seeking this conspicuous conspiracy only digging thy hole deeper~

Abating others cruelly yet tormenting thy self thinking thine comfortable~

Deceitful apprehensions cloud over thy appetite, an endless appetite for destruction~`

That longs for the destruction desperate attempts are futile~

There stand abrading thy torment filled with hysterical laughter~

Gravely grotesque figure without form finding thy shape in shadows~

Endeavor enmity consumes thy needs, needing more and more~

Empty…empty gaunt~

Always left yearning~

Not meeting thy need~

Perpetually perplexing persecuting domination~

Thy frailty subdues all thy once knew, still knowing nothing but lies~

Nonsensical as it beckons thy near~

Further thy shell empties year after year a gaping hole is all that is left~

No Soul, well perhaps a bit of one, but stale and old~

Rotting thy heart sneering~

Yet you remain~

Hallow….ever more no release~

Not for Reproduction~

~The Chase~

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I’m not gonna chase you not anymore, I’m no longer praying you will Want to walk through My door to stay with me forever more ~

I’m not gonna chase you ,It’s not worth fight Or even the plight I see you now clearly in the light You will no longer invade my mind in the day and the night~

I’m not gonna chase you hoping you’ll see the precious amazing Thing that is me, you’re ignorant can’t you see, oh yeah that’s right you can’t see what is the magic the beauty of me~

I’m not gonna chase you it’s not needed, if this was real because if you felt as I felt you would feel as I feel~

I’m not gonna chase not anyone anymore I’m not gonna be some part time whore trust in this I’m worth much oh so much more

I’m not gonna chase you, Even when I hurt and I pray Eventually someone will see me for the beauty I am, in that moment too I will see the beauty in them~
So when you miss the bits and pieces others miss, remember you allowed me in, as I did you, Thinking somehow you would be true It will be your loss and my ultimate and eventual win~

As the sun rises in the east sets in the west the chase is over time to give it a rest. I know in my heart I’ve bewitched you and swim in your blood invade your thoughts and you will feel lost for testing this game you truly won’t ever be the same, as will I, won’t you see that it’s not really you now it’s really about me~

You’ll never forget me My touch my voice The sweat the heat Especially my name I knew in the beginning the rules of the game But I’m too old for games At this point of my life   I don’t need the pressure I don’t need the strife~

I’m not playing this game Not this time around or anytime other, I’m dropping out eventually I’ll find a true forever a real lover, The key that will fit to think I once thought you might have been it~

I’m not a temporary kinda woman, I’m a lady you see, I’m the stick to each other holding hands forever Against the grain of society Making my rules  I can’t stand Pre fashioned  People they are the fools~

Take heed in what I’m saying to you don’t let your vanity make you a bigger fool all that is vain ,Lives both in and out in the end all fades without a doubt then what are you left? A shell of a man, that couldn’t see once what he had in his hands.

Now go live your life in vain You’re not like me, you’re not the same and trust in this I’ll forget you and your name, you’ll find However you will never forget mine not now or forever Throughout time~

But thanks for the lesson Play chess oh the game I’ll never be the same  This is for sure Now watch as I leave As I walk away through The door~

~Coming Soon~

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I haven’t written in awhile and soon I will be writing about why. It is called 101 days of Hell~ and in more contemplative thoughts I’m working on how one can achieve happiness alone….. Yes I said happy and alone in one sentence and it feels good~

~Tangled Emotion~NJM~

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You Tangle my emotions

Tied them in a knot

Walked out my life leaving my heart to rot

As you slammed the door

I dropped to the floor

Getting stuck in the creases

Edges tathered torn

Grabbing for paper to write a letter….

But I am a typo

On written pages of life

With a message to convey

Not without perplexing one’s views

Part of the glitch

Some call me a bitch

Others a whore

Some say they need nothing more

I complete them

Impossible you see

If I can’t complete you

How the hell do I complete me

Tangled tied ripped upart, yet I’m still alive

Often I wonder is it chaos and tragedy on which I thrive

it’s all I know it’s how I survive go figure

~Preemptive~revised~

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Preemptive I suppose

I leave first

You silver tongue devil

You had me almost

But all of my life I stood by

With hope learning to cope

No more

Preemptive I am

Strike you down

Out of my sight

Purged from my mind

You can come to look

You will not find

Preemptive in love

Just as in war

I am a missile

I reach out so far

I’ll tear down your defenses

I close in on you all around

Slash your heart first

Never again it’s now

A curse

Laid upon me long ago

A trust can be broken only so many times

Am I confused unable to see

I breed in you and you breed in me

And we also bleed too!

Your deceit

Is a pool of my blood around your feet

My blood, my scars

No one can never cross far over my lines

Drawn in a particular way

So when I am done

I have the say

Preemptive

I can’t even make it a month

Thinking of what could be us

I see to much fault

You are not what I thought

Characteristics you portray

Soon fade away

So I jump out

Leaving you quickly

I can’t conceive

Why you can’t perceive

That I am no longer shackled

By love or sex

Well I’d like to think

Mortal coil craves

I’m human

I have my days

I’m preemptive

You wonder how you let go the best

It’s not you

It’s not a test

So go on your way

Give it a rest

Wait what did I just say?

Preemptive dear Darlin dear

Now feel the fate as it draws near~