~Longing is your souls way of letting you know you belong to another~NJM~
Personal Quotes~
~Longing is your souls way of letting you know you belong to another~NJM~
~Longing is your souls way of letting you know you belong to another~NJM~
There is a sadness that runs so deep
Out my pours it begins to seep
Little pools of vomit from the little holes
It started today
Again you turned my love away
What do I do with this love
I know it is true
But where do I keep it
I have not a clue.
I stayed up late my usual routine
Arose at 11
I never rolled a lucky 7
Snake eyes is my true roll
I seem to gamble with my soul
What do I do with this love
Tuck it away
The edges slip out
Jagged torn
I pray dear God why was I born?
Maybe I’m feeling you like I often do
Maybe you’re Sad and without a clue.
What do I do with the love meant only for you
When you turn me away
Telling me to let you go
You say ~Darlin you need to let me go, I’m not good for you~
How the fuck can you know, you think you are gifted with insight from some realm
Some unseen sight
You can’t truly be sure
Our love just might….
Survive in the place i prepared just for us
But my sadness pours out of my pours like puss
Please stop all this shit
The guise the game
For once in your life make a true change
I’m trying to work on my book
And my article post
Instead I hear my heart let it go
What do I do with the pain of rejection all my life
I never said take me as your wife
Just be there in the place I made just for two
That place I prepared for me and for you.
Do you love me too?
I’m impetuous and cruel
Act play a fool
When you turn me away
I didn’t ask for much
Just that you stay.
Is it because you can’t forgive yourself from the past
How you hurt me so
I lashed out then ran fast
Why is it I love the one who hurt me most
Who haunts me daily like a ghost?
What do I do with this love?
Tell me please
My mind is rambles already diseased….
What do I do with this love
My love
What this love?
~Hatreds Whore~
The subtle trapping of the flesh
Does eat the soul alive…
The folly of words that spin the web
Leaving strife and lies.
The subtle desensitizing of the mind
Eating way at the cells misfiring
Does the spirit still dwell even against its contrary morals?
Against the angst and frailty of justice?
And doth contempt churn within,
As disconcerting as before the subtle lies of hatreds whore?
~Hatreds Whore Part~2~
You crazy fool you think you have yet again advanced your position in this life?
Coddled entitlement chokes you and leads you ignorantly through the trenches you walk daily… Believing your own demented truths!
And does your existence prove to be so profitable?
Does your opinion truly count?
Or does thy soul eat away
The core of your spirit that
Dances idly alone through clouded dreams pass the Laws of men smothered by society’s brew eats the meat and flesh of your bones, your life and lies doth slowly chew, and spew…… You out… Spit forth
Leftovers are all you are fool, and to think you never knew !
And does thy soul magnify and convey the torment ?
Or do you smile, all the while eating lies up like a child?
~Epilogue to Hatreds Whore~
The Will of youth is fading
Hinged between realm’s of grey, black, white…..wrong, right smeared dripping, bleeding into each other~
Not yet divided by age ……definitely, to young to be old, to old to be young.
Seemingly timeless, don’t we wish to believe~
Thy will was strong, Ah Thy youth vigorous! Consuming, Passionate……..Yet time upon earth has broken the will of your youth, tainted, choked the spirit of your present condition once shared Devine connection….. Suffocating in a conformist fashion…Pre-made a template duplicated…. Scorned…even Hated~
Strange strengths unknown alive yet Lacking discipline~Ominous thoughts scatter about
Eating around the skirted Subjects best left secret, leaving no clue~
Unmastered skill yielding strength
imparting ability to carry forth much more intense tasks yet to be finished with flawless execution, instead drained by surrounding energies pertaining to tasks, trying times, ever smudging smearing lines~
Visions inspired by God… That great cosmic master have wiped the slate of prophecy clean~
Over exposure to environment wiped the mind void …..trying to distinguish which voice……… which vision was God, or Demons now lurking in corners, and shadows awaiting moments of weakness to torment thoughts, your soul.
Mute Divinity the Holy Spirit once directing every step, every action of times long lost…… Lost long before this present condition, this meager existence.
Doth this evil that exist supersede the once enveloping presence man thought God to be?
Those philosophical longings… Greater questions lingering, longing for answers……
Has exposure edified the presence of human thought upon God, as deceitful, longing to have control?
Does thought of a Godless world Condemn us swiftly without Regarded thought?
Without belief in tact?
Skeptics … Dare we be?
Ah we must! Indeed.
It’s down to science to fact…..Facts often proven failures later due to fallacy, policy, ignorance believing that the mysteries of the unseen, angels, demons the Supreme One are false?
Indeed subjective.
Your Experience prevails or does it Lack?
Has doubt allowed hate to negate….contradicting lies, sealing history’s fate? Squeezing the life out, draining needs of things considered holy, Devine, to seemingly cease?
Or does it thrive within you alive?
Hatred you whore, you demonic thief… Reeking havoc destruction and grief, yet easily graceful, alluring, enticing to beseech, even more so to easily reach~
Insidious belief difference divides
opposes thought……,action with deceit, malice, subtle thief….. whore, that hate, Trying to cloud human fate….
Venomous rage, collected, captured shackled in a cage
Scorned trifling rage
Hate… You whore
Ever present searching for more~
Hating today as much as yesterday maybe a little more….
Thus my name is Hatreds Whore~
Not For Reproduction~
I am the ice queen born on the 1st Perhaps that’s what makes me mean, makes me one of the worst. I didn’t realize I wore the crown
I didn’t look in the mirror didn’t see my frown, all I could see is my eyes dimly lit near death. I hated so that the ice queen was me, I hurt so much didn’t like whatj I see.
I used to have a warm caring heart but the stench, pain, decay, and state of this world tore and ripped it apart.
It used people, places, things and severed my mind.
Making what’s truthful and real so hard to find.
This ice isn’t melting, in fact it gets bigger every day.
I’m starting to think this ice queen won’t ever melt away.
“How are you Doing today?”It’s what we all say to each other everyday.
Social situations facial navigation fake smile social niceties.
“Fine, and you, how are you?”
Oh fine.
We share our fake smiles
Waiting in lines
Talking small talk
Ready to move forward now
Ready to walk
Everyday you lie, I lie….Because each day that phrase is a greeting/statement/question all rolled up in one
For the most part
It’s “oui bien sur”
Or a more American way to say it instead of French is
“Yes of course”,Sure I’m fine, oh you are too? great! Have a good day!
Another proclamation of sending each person off with a ” have a good day”
I Personally like to say “have a blessed day and I make eye contact to let them know I see them, I mean what I just said.
“Have a blessed day..”
Being sincere about our feelings publicly is just not normal. We may disturb another human being with the truth such as saying” hey it’s not a good day thus far”.
Be real when you feel that way; say it, and pray it will get better.
Don’t socially lie, it’s what makes us feel as though other little lies aren’t such a bad thing. So we use more.
Perhaps you Don’t want to go somewhere you promised someone that you would go to such as an event or visit. The Majority of us would make up either an “illness”or a “family emergency”.
These are the things we as a society have accepted,which in turn; and in my opinion has diluted every human to some point.
The point of this message is sorry to burst your bubble baby, we are all liars. Now I’m
Gonna try to get through this Holiday and the rest of my life stating my truth. Perhaps if we all did, well then things for damn sure would get real.
Know what, real is what we need for positive change. In my opinion we are far to fake, not enough real.
Resolution of life going forward and note to self ” be real” pray another companion comes into my life with that goal as well. Shouldn’t we all be so fortunate?
Have a Happy Holiday’s everyone , truly much
Love and thanks for stopping by and reading my truth.
PS. My photo is my part of being real makeup free being me. At least half… 😜
Don’t play on my playground
The rusty parts might cut you
The hinges may come off
The railing is weak
Don’t play on my playground
They’ll think you a freak
You want to be here on this grey dingy playground no it can’t be
You’ll be on this playground that’s owned by me
It’s so easy to get hurt don’t you see
My playground although dented and corroded is made just for me
I’ve cared for it poorly
It’s not to late
To play safe on the merry go round
I’ll sit and watch and wait
No I’d rather the thrill of the rollar coaster you know
There is fear in my eyes but it won’t show
No no
I’ve played on my play ground for so long the fear I had now has made me strong
It’s been far to long get off my playground off my merry go round as well
I have a few choice words I’ll keep to myself oh what the hell
There is no more us not now no story to tell
Get off my playground
It’s being renovated
So shiney and new
My playgrounds reserved only for few
That means my playground is not for you