~NJM~Can You Feel What I Feel? Let’s make it part of the deal~

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I awake to your thoughts of me causing a restless longing I no longer care to touch or feel. I awake to you wanting to hear me, but I stay silent. I awake and remember how I wanted your love once at any cost. Now I’ve counted the cost it’s of no value to me.

I awake I feel your loss, your longing , I know because I lost you the day you rejected me, just took your rejection and mental abuse awhile for it to sink in. It has. In the words of the late great Kurt Cobain If you truly want me then…… Come as you are, as you were

As I want you to be

As a friend, as a friend

As an known enemy…take your time, hurry up, the choice is yours but don’t be late!

~Please….Don’t Flatter yourself

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Don’t flatter yourself Thinking I make every move for you~
Don’t flatter yourself if I ask you many questions, I’m inquisitive by nature~
Don’t flatter yourself thinking you’re the object of my desire~
Don’t flatter yourself by my fascination, a time in my life now gone~
Don’t flatter yourself thinking you could ever find anyone like me, I’m unique and to good for you~
Don’t flatter yourself you definitely are not one of a kind you’re cut from the common cloth The generic design~
Don’t flatter yourself and think your self unique trust its All been done before you’re cut from common cloth~
Don’t flatter yourself thinking you have advanced yourself in life you have not…. job promotions happen all the time~
Don’t flatter yourself you think the world owes you, a sense of entitlement you can’t seem to see just how big your ego can be~ bobble head….
Don’t flatter yourself anymore with regard to me, if you cross my mind I pray and get on with life. I let it be. You judged me was embarrassed by me~
Simply don’t flatter yourself I’m gone now let it be~
Don’t flatter yourself ~

Especially for me..~

~Inspiration~

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My inspiration my muse

You are the rain tapping

On the tin roof

As thunder rolls above

The sheer silence

Your soft whisper

The sun glistening upon leaves

Peaking through clouds

The way he looked at me

The way he touches

His smell

Those eyes

The way the child smiled at me

The book I have read

Thoughts left unsaid

Books still on a shelf

The passion once felt

The love I have

The pain I endured

The doves cooing

The birds chirping

The wind that blew by

The beautiful blue sky

The perfect storm

Lightening strikes

The lyrics to a song

Played in my mind all life long

Life how it sometimes goes wrong

The crush I may have

Conversations that have ended awkwardly

Trees and their amazing strength

Their roots

The touch of a friend who taps your shoulder

The fact that we are all getting older

The smell of rain

The touch of my pets fur

The painting at the museum

The words beautiful explanations

Brought to life

The questions

The oceans

The rivers & Lakes

All Gods creatures

Including the snake

Inspiration is all around

Even your feet on the ground

Sand between my toes

The skip in my jump

Fire & ice

How to entice

Elements and beauty all around

That’s where my inspiration is found~

Tiffany Wehrner~

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Please disregard any affiliation I have with Moments of Clarity with Tiffany Wehrner I don’t associate with her at all.

You could have done so much to help me back in 2018 you could have had them put me into a hospital. You could have used your clout to shield me and become a voice to me, you could have at least written. You lost a good friend.

Also quit letting others fight your battles stand up already and be a woman!

~Seroquel~Great Read if You take this Drug~

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Seroquel now there is a pill
No way to easily put it all these side effects…
No metabolism, no perfect weight
It helps me sleep, but mostly eat
It often makes me stumble on my feet
What a fuckin treat all these meds I get to take, is my feelings real or are they fake?
Mostly is this my life to take ? Gee all this is just grand so great.
Now if this is my choice, my voice if it mattered I suppose quite simply I chose the latter.
Sad but true these ups and downs this roller coaster goes round and round
I’m tired now I want to get down and stand firmly upon ground.
Do you stand firmly on ground? You see, Or are you just like me? Confused conflicted often addicted to the one thing that makes you feel grounded
I thought my screams were alone but it sounded like echos of others all like me screaming in hell trying to be free
Seroquel

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~Mercurial Musings 101~

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I was watching ~Impractical Jokers~ on TV and the term MILF was brought up and used. Which got me to thinking.
I mean it’s not like I’m sitting around with nothing better to do than to write this kinda stuff. ( btw I have dibs on the term “kinda stuff”, and incase you don’t know BTW means By the way….. And by dibs I’m gonna trademark it) just so you know.

But these thoughts I’m going to share with you are the baffling complexities of a bipolar mind that thinks way outside the box, into the land of utter stupidities. My mercurial musing so to speak.

So I wonder in my moments of distraction Why is ILF exclusive to The letter M? Why not just say ILF that person then?

Welcome to ILF 101 (not at all politically correct sex terms) try to keep up. Ok here we go.

We are all familiar with the term milf.
Incase you don’t know the term it stands for “Mother I’d like to F;&!Ck.

We will keep Milf but label it as Milf 1.
The reason for the digit after the Milf is to keep order of the new ILF’s I’m gonna place in your mind by simply reading my ramblings. So be warned …exit now are forever lose the next few minutes of life you shall never gain back, and therefore be dumber than before you gazed upon these ramblings.

We have established the Milf1
But let me introduce you to MILF2.

MILF2 now represents Man I’d like to F;#!CK.

But we have only just begun to uncover the mystery of ILF.. Lets proceed, shall we !

You may be familiar with the term GILF which currently stands for
Grandmother I’d like to F;<!CK.

But the GILF is most surprising of all.
Why you say?Here, let me explain.
Is there not a Grandpa somewhere someone might want to shag?!
But of course!
Which coincidentally would be GILF2.
Which stands for Grandpa.. We can’t leave grandpa out.

But folks we are just getting started.

Some women may prefer to call a man a guy…… Yes yes you guessed it
GILF 3 which stands for… Guy Id like to F;~!CK.

But wait there is much much more
Lets not leave out the Tweens, that group of people who are above the age of consent 18 and older..You know the ones… .. Well maybe not, but they need an ILF too!

Enter in exhibit GILF4 yes 4 which is a girl I’d like to F;\!CK.

But hey girls we can’t leave the boys out. Which means we now have a bilf!
BILF.. Which by now I think you get the ILF… But incase you haven’t followed this chain of ILF’s it means
Boy id like to F;/!CK.

Then we have the ever elusive DILF.. Right ladies?

Dad I’d like to F;%CK!

Which then brings to thought WILF
Women or LILF for Lady..
I mean the list could keep going, suppose this is why I propose to just use plain ole ILf.. Makes more sense to me, but what do I know… I’m bipolar.
This concludes ILF 101

Please refer to as needed.

Milf 1 mom
Milf 2 man
GILF 1 grandma
GILF 2grandpa
GILF 3Guy
GILF 4 girl
Bilf boy
Dilf Dad
WILF Women
LILF Lady
So Juicey right?

~Glorious Victory~Stories Legends are Made of~

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Thy kingdom beyond the clouds doth reign~

Shall thy defend this kingdom in vain

Wonderful glory of beauty beseech

Because thy own to far must reach

Horse hooves loudly roar

Upon this ground

Upon the sound

Upon thy mercy lay thy crown

Soldiers tarry and bravely fight

They battle deep into the night

There waits a queen whose faith is shaken~

Her lords crown may soon be taken

Doth people of common understand

That they toil upon stolen land

Beauty of thine yet more to seek

Across the crowds our eyes doth meet~

Horses hooves loudly roar

As knights from battle fight no more

Kingdom bound to feast and dance

Till yet again another chance

To defend thy kingdom

Thy people, thy crown

To defeat that beast come from the ground~

To hear that glorious, victorious sound

To place upon the king his crown

Then yet once more shall thy ascend

To fight this battle yet once again

Because this kingdom I defend!

Because this kingdom I defend!

With glorious victory till bitter end~

Not For Reproduction~

The True Difference Between a Choice and Decision~

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I would like to take my reader through the definitions that describe choice versus decision…..
What is the difference between a choice and decision? Have you ever really given it much thought?
I have Bipolar 1 and PTSD do I have a choice? No. Can I decide? What? Decide what? I can decide a lot but I don’t have a choice. Now watch how cunning and clever the human language can be.
Now let’s define the two okhere is the definition of decision=a conclusion or resolution reached after consideration.”I’ll make the decision on my own”=resolution, conclusion, settlement, commitment, resolve, determination 

esoluticonclusion, settlement, commitment, resolve, determination; choice, option, selection

“a number of factors led me to this decision”

verdict, finding, ruling, recommendation, judgment, pronouncement, adjudgment adjudication, arbitration;

sentence, decree, order, rule, injunction;

findings, results;

determination;

resolve;

 

“they’re delighted with the judge’s decision”
the action or process of deciding something or of resolving a question.”the information was used as the basis for decision”
a formal judgment.”last year’s Supreme Court decision”
the ability or tendency to make decisions quickly; decisiveness.
are Only some of the word used to describe the definition of decision.
Now let’s explore the definition of choice=an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities.”the choice between good and evil” possibility, possible course of action; solution, answer, way out “you must trust me—you have no other choice” specially of food) of very good quality.”he picked some choice early plums” superior, first-class, first-rate, prime, premier, grade A, best, finest, excellent, select, quality, high-quality, top, top-quality, high-grade, of the first water, prize, special, exclusive, handpicked, carefully chosen, vintage, fine…… very fine ways to describe making the right choice as opposed to decisions
Then we have to remember options but thats for another time.
Funny how our human language has so many forms of saying basically the same thing. Yet two totally different ways in which we exercise each decision each choice.
I prefer the old fashion analogy “count the cost?” And “did you sell yourself short?” Both questions beg the for the same answer, but is it a decision or choice needed depending on perception and circumstances and situations.
Recently I contacted an old acquaintances who said “to make the right choice” But in light of our conversation and the topics at hand I believe that a decision would’ve been a better way……. a better suggestion to use in asking or stating the question… it was like both a statement and question at the same time kinda thing. But which is it? 
Can we get out of the damn cloudy grey areas all over the place especially in our communications with one another…. finding good true things in this world that lacks truth, love, kindness, and justice. Those only apply to some of us not all of us. After all not all of us are privileged and grew up in crystal white towers with stained glass temples as simple reminders of a sense of entitlement. Must be nice but I can only imagine as can most of the world population. 
I just know this I don’t have a choice in being PTSD and bipolar I can’t chose that! I could decide however to try everything to keep my illness healthy. See the difference I just proved? See you don’t always get a choice sometimes it’s only a decision…. so I’m gonna sit on this dock and make a decision to either get my ass up or just stay right fucking here. Sorry for the colorful language after all I’m supposed to be French being from Louisiana and having a Mother with the last name Bourgeois ( found out I don’t have any in me go figure however I have 5% Jew in me and a definite 50% Italian {my Dad was from Sicily}makes no sense why no French from Mom….guess she took that mystery to the grave too….. anyway I’m looking into that ) so that’s my excuse truly what is yours lol Thanks for listening.
Sent from my iPhone

~ The Cage~

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I don’t need you to rattle my cage every damn day.

I don’t need you

& your diabolical demonic rage

I don’t need this cage

I don’t need you

I don’t need this cage

And All it’s cost all its pain

To go on further

To turn further to turn that damn page

I don’t need that fowl threat

I don’t pay your deadly debt

I look away

No more I will hear your voice

No longer hear you say

So I’ll say it again let it sink in

Don’t rattle my cage

Causing the rage

I’m leaving this battle

May it shake may it rattle

But I’m leaving the fucking cage

I don’t need you

Don’t need this cage

As keys dropped

I walk away

Away from

The cage

Love ❤️ ~NJM Quotes~

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love immeasurable, Death inevitable, hate consuming ,want never ending~NJM~#Quotes