Know that I shall not hang on
So why can’t I let go?
In my dreams when I’m with you
Somehow I forget to breath
You got me like a rag doll
Now I’m dancing on your string
And I keep trying
To figure out
Who you are to me
Maybe all that
We were meant to be
Is beautifully unfinished
Cause your’re the one
I can’t lose
You’re the one
That I can’t win
Maybe all that we were meant to be was beautifully unfinished
I want someone to love, to love me as I love them.I want someone passionate for me forever,now and way beyond the end. I want to breath the air they breath. I want someone who’s touch sends electricity through my body and up my spine, gives me goose bumps from the thoughts of what we do alone behind closed doors, Is it asking to much for them to feel the same maybe even more? I am not up for anymore games…..
I want to feel the adrenaline rush, I’m sure they do too…especially when the adrenaline rush is made by me and hopefully you(whoever you are)
I want a key you see made exactly to fit into you and you into me. Lacking in nothing complete oh so sweet, so cunning yet Devine the love we can make for the rest of time. I want someone to be like rolling thunder and crashing waves against me and my skin ….their skin….Us between the sheets,outside the sheets, I want to roll and crash and ride the waves with them. I want to experience something beautiful and unknown together. Shared with no other.I want someone to make me feel safe in their arms to feel safe from all harm.
I want them to feel safe with me and know I would walk to hell and back if I had too just for them to see.
I want someone who will not lie to me or hide things from me and Who will not be a drunk.
I don’t want to lie to them either don’t want no reason too. All emotional drama and junk be gone from my life, don’t need the discord don’t need the strife.
I want someone to hold my hand. I want to hold their hand too…….. until we are old until we leave this earth.
I want someone who won’t leave me,to believe in me, believe in my worth, as I will do for them.I want someone who will honor and respect me till the end. An ever burning fire, I want a relationship that won’t expire…..
I won’t ever leave them. Even in the after life and beyond we will dance that cosmic dance…..with my best friend my lover my heart.
This is what I want. This is where it starts….Now the standard I’ve set perhaps makes it a possible fact that you don’t exist that’s why we never met, maybe I’ve said all this because I don’t believe you exist, if you don’t exist then I can’t get hurt, and to me that’s smart, I’ll live trying to hold on to what’s left of my heart.
However………. the fact of the matter is not settling for nothing less , nothing less than best. To be clear without fear I often wonder if you are very near…. or perhaps you’re so far away and today is not the day it may be another….. well
I want someone that’s the total package too, as I’m sure you want that as well.
Tell me Is that someone you?
If it is I have waited my whole life for you as you have for me.
May our love be forever may we always be, happy, healthy, prosperous loving and free. Never wanting , always fulfilled.
To bad you can’t get this in a pill.
NJM~
Not For Reproduction ~
Drowning in your watered down words~in the sea of suspicions and doubt~
Stunned by your actions your lack of regard reverberates … Breaking sound barriers~
Best let it rest, no it’s not a test, most walked away its was for the best~
My illness is amplified by stress and assholes~
The very stress that assholes like you cause~
Separating myself from this realm
Of reality and dynamics shifting
On a ocean-less drift of emotion~
Cut paper thin then ripped from my personal thoughts not to be written yet spoken~
All that ever was now is broken, is that your beautiful trinket the parts of me you’ve stolen?~
I want it back, I intend to retrieve all you’ve taken I pray now I’ll receive and retrieve… at this particular time of my life it’s time to leave~
If I ever return I’ll know next time not to get burned… In the past trust I had to learn~
Go to bed? Nah I was just going to dance naked under the moon light to gods of old to come and save my wretched soul.
My mouth of madness doth angel speak the mortal ties grow deathly weak.
The glare of moons glow sweeps over my skin
I’ll dance this dance like I’ll never dance again~
Like a flower unfolding
Slowly without notice
The blossom full bloom
Was always there the flower
Blossom full bloom
Like a firecracker released into the sky suspended
Gentle and soft petals drip rain
The foreboding rain of life’s cruelty
Flower of earth,color, so beautiful
Picked and trimmed and put aside in a vase. Time is short now life can sustain only when grounded to earth
Picked trimmed put aside as a spectacle, of beauty, fragility, and untimely death, death is never timely
But is inevitable…..
Wilting as each day brings to a close the mortality the death of something so amazing and beautiful~
Not For Reproduction~
My love surpasses your understanding Oh beauty so raw
I see the bits
Pieces
Others miss
It’s the bits
Others miss
That makes me love you
It’s the intellect that captures
The primal quality
You Polished
Beautifully
Shining
It’s why
~The beauty of acceptance is not found among others, it’s found within yourself~NJM~
~Longing is your souls way of letting you know you belong to another~NJM~
No one likes rejection. After so many times it’s hard to take. Then you finally say enough~
No one wants to be made fun of because they love. Laughed at because they’re different.
No one likes to be teased makes the other person leave~
No one wants to really say goodbye sometimes though you have to try~
No one wants to fool themselves they don’t want to play the fool for the entertainment of those who just hurt~
Love me, or Don’t but stop dragging my heart around~
This was indeed a mystery….
There is a sadness that runs so deep
Out my pours it begins to seep
Little pools of vomit from the little holes
It started today
Again you turned my love away
What do I do with this love
I know it is true
But where do I keep it
I have not a clue.
I stayed up late my usual routine
Arose at 11
I never rolled a lucky 7
Snake eyes is my true roll
I seem to gamble with my soul
What do I do with this love
Tuck it away
The edges slip out
Jagged torn
I pray dear God why was I born?
Maybe I’m feeling you like I often do
Maybe you’re Sad and without a clue.
What do I do with the love meant only for you
When you turn me away
Telling me to let you go
You say ~Darlin you need to let me go, I’m not good for you~
How the fuck can you know, you think you are gifted with insight from some realm
Some unseen sight
You can’t truly be sure
Our love just might….
Survive in the place i prepared just for us
But my sadness pours out of my pours like puss
Please stop all this shit
The guise the game
For once in your life make a true change
I’m trying to work on my book
And my article post
Instead I hear my heart let it go
What do I do with the pain of rejection all my life
I never said take me as your wife
Just be there in the place I made just for two
That place I prepared for me and for you.
Do you love me too?
I’m impetuous and cruel
Act play a fool
When you turn me away
I didn’t ask for much
Just that you stay.
Is it because you can’t forgive yourself from the past
How you hurt me so
I lashed out then ran fast
Why is it I love the one who hurt me most
Who haunts me daily like a ghost?
What do I do with this love?
Tell me please
My mind is rambles already diseased….
What do I do with this love
My love
What this love?
Bipolar Tapestry~Poetic Thoughts 