~Bipolar,The Unique Truth about the illness and my theories~

First I urge you the reader to watch a movie called “Touched by Fire” with Katie Holmes… the depiction of the two characters bring this post together. They are two bipolar individuals that’s all I will say. Watch it.

Bipolar the unique truth
Truth is there are many bipolar people with a unique gifts of art, it springs forth from our well to bring to life what we hope others will get, will understand.
I write poetry through my heart

My veins, my brain. Some other bipolar people paint, some sing, some Dance, some sculpt, and others like me, the countless thousands that write.
I consider myself a warrior fighting a cause trying to educate and break mental health stigma I also bring my demons out to display for all to see. That’s pretty ugly and unique. Hang it all out, air the bullshit I fester in at times, don’t we all?
Here is the thing, even warriors get weary and tired, and at times may even feel defeated.
I feel this as I write it, however by days end I’ll feel completely opposite I will feel empowered.
You may be a bipolar person, however every one of us is so unique so very unique.

I have been told all my

Life I have a switch, like a light switch that goes off if I’m done such as with let’s say …chemical addiction I am addicted for awhile to some drugs as an example. Cocaine, ecstasy, acid that kind of stuff I did at various times of my life, only to put it down. Still down over 15 years or more to this point and I pray it will always stick, it has thus far.
Now Mary Jane is like a best friend that I can hug goodbye, then check up on Mary Jane and alas, we have a long visit. Then I hug her again. Only to keep visiting.
Longest I ever told Mary Jane see you later I didn’t see her for 5 years….. that’s along time.
I’m similar with cigarettes but I have never been a real lifer for cigarettes.
I pick those up during stressful times. Like a switch I turn it back off till it illuminates again and the switch is turned on….. hey maybe it’s a glitch…

Today is the full moon. The moon affects bipolar people.
Say what you will, the cosmic energy changes the ebb and the flow of the ocean and pulls stronger because we are closer to our moon. If it affects a huge ocean then I view it as ……how much more can it affect us little humans. I mean come on it’s pulling an ocean sitting by us you think it don’t affect us, Ha. Ok.
Anyway these are my theories. Adopt them as your own if it rings true. Examine it if it doesn’t.
For some the full moon energizes their soul, others melancholia, others deep depression.
It is a shackle. I have theories about mental illness for a very long time. We live in a multidimensional world.
I often wondered if the mentally ill are tapping into the other dimensions the ones that others can’t hear, see, or feel.

I have others who have witnessed phenomena in me with regard to two things, first I seem to affect electrical currents in my area around me lights and such . Second the ability to tell you about something important that is gonna happen if you’re close to me.

This has been witnessed and many can tell you, yep she does.
This only started again, notice I said again, yes again after 3 years. See I was away around lies and deceit for the duration of my marriages, I listened and bought into the lies …. then I broke free after my divorce…for the last three years of my life, I stopped listening to lies, I’m in what I call a spiritual cleanse zone.
I can do things others can’t or maybe they can I haven’t met them yet, do you have phenomena too? just like I have , are you bipolar and have a phenomenon like myself which only adds to what I feel is extremely unique.
I had gifts when I was younger and not tainted by this world nor afflicted with atrocious disease of the mind. I prayed and meditated for hours in nature back then. My gifts at its apex. But years of hearing and buying into those lies affected my gifts. We all have some kinda strange gift if you tap into it.
Removing yourself from all lies or to recognize lies(spirit bares witness to others) the lies others speak you will and can know. But how do you know if they are lying?
For me It’s a silent “I know”.A feeling a sensation I pick up on.
Sometimes it’s just a quick whispers brief then gone.
This is me. This is how I am navigating my outer worldly experience. The queue’s I receive.
I don’t dabble in dark arts. My mother did. She was sought after on the bayous of Louisiana. People come from all over the bayou to see her. To hear what she had to say.
She then had a change of heart made me burn all my albums( so long ago lol albums) all my records.
I couldn’t wear pants anymore and I got to go to 6 th grade at a weird school from the church she joined. It was Like a mixture of Assembly of God or Pentecostal type of practice.
Yet I survived my crazy ass formidable young years as best I could, well that was until I revolted and got married at 14.
I was rebellious, against the grain. I think that was a charismatic draw when I was younger I had a few select friends.
Wherever we went, when we arrived the party started and most flocked to me it flowed… it was a powerful feeling.
So see yours may be different it’s why I have given you a quick narrative of my life.
So how are the meds going? Well? What was your cost? Mine was feelings, eyesight, weight, rapid weight gain. A few more add on’s.
My meds are Lamictal, Serquel, Clonopin. Not to mention pain meds for another condition.
Cool fact I’ve only had three cavities. My mom was big about brushing my damn teeth.
Hey! I have a bright smile. That is if I’m not in one of the many moods that flow through me every hour. Yes every hour.
See another difference. My Mind is in a variation or some would say rapid cycle.
Yours may be still, constant depressed, or you could be in a full blown manic episode.
In order to make any stride In Breaking stigma we must begin to be honest with ourselves.
We walk blindly sometimes through a day our thoughts jumbled.
But are we living our truth, bearing the scars and being open about your unique illness and the unique art it invokes in you.
Can we all feel empowered always, the answer is No. however we can strive, press onward.
For us our creativity and our illness make us so unique, so let your colors out and color outside the lines.
Don’t be afraid, we all have at one time or another. However, this is coming from someone who has had a rough ride getting to this place of complete honesty.
A place to tell my story without fear. Worry about nothing, care about most things, leave the rest behind. That’s my quote…
Thanks for stopping in and reading my post.
Have a beautiful day and watch out for our full moon tonight!

~Bipolar Self Check & Cycles~

Being bipolar and knowing that patterns such as triggers and time frames, stress the very fact that we cycle is extremely important. History tends to repeat itself, many things repeat themselves, bipolar individuals happen to skid into this surreal area a little too often.

Wanna know something else all the meds in this world can’t  stop what I just mentioned. Lifestyle combined with a medicinal regiment can avert most travesty. But medicine alone can’t. I know. I’ve gone manic, in fact bonkers and was still on my meds. Was I fun, uh not really….well maybe for a bit, but only to myself.

Know something else,the company you keep, the person you may love can be the very trigger that spirals you off balance.

So the question I ask myself and you, are you gaining you right now? That’s right, are you gaining YOU? Or losing pieces here and there before you know it you’re everywhere, all the while thinking you’re put together or at least coming off that way. Hiding that Bipolar cloak and dagger in our pockets ready to pull that pocket inside out and release all that debris and shreds of crap at the bottom. You know the shit you feel in the empty pocket….looks like dust bunnies living there. Those dust bunnies are you, that debris is you and and all that pent up crap.

Are or you the cloth that the pocket is concealed in? Looking all sheik and stylish, but inside crying out with no voice? interesting how its this way or that and this goes for everyone bye the way, not just us bipolar people. People out there, you can learn a lot from those like me willing to share my life, thoughts, feelings, and you don’t have to have bipolar to gain insight either, this is a one size fits all kinda stuff that human beings go through. Just we may handle it a bit different.

I’m writing this for myself, for all those reading this, it’s self check time.

What is healthy? It’s having all YOUR needs met. Is this happening right now? Are do you feel short changed? I feel a bit short changed to tell you the truth. Hey, I am being honest.

Are you happy? Are or you up and down all the F’n way around and it’s due partially to the company you keep? Yeah I mean face it we all are a bit F’d up in our own way, but do we need more of it from others at specific turning points of our life? Crossroads….they are everywhere by the way, and just a reminder…uh.. they can happen any day.

Should you be alone? Yes! Sometimes being alone before polluted thinking takes over you, helps you to clearly see what you couldn’t before and remove yourself from any given situation whether it be love, business, friendships, or just being social at this time.

But living in this world you must take care of you first. You have nothing to give out to others no love or kindness if you don’t love yourself and are not genuinely kind to you.

The road ahead may be a bit stressful but if diplomatically approached you can ease through most anything bipolar or not.

These are my Bipolar Thoughts at this time, hope you got something out of it.

It’ my story, I’m sticking to it. What’s yours?

NJM~

~If you Missed today’s Show Moments of Clarity~I’ll be there visiting her on July 13th~See you there!

If you couldn’t catch me and Tiffany live today go here and catch podcast at momentsofclaritywithtiffany.com podcast will be saved on the web page and also on tantalk1340.com

I’ll be on again in a few weeks sometimes more.

Pod cast
I look forward to the venture with Moments of Clarity with Tiffany Werhner she is amazing and we are on a mission.

~Incase you missed my interview on ~Moments of Clarity~See you on June 15th~

You can listen to me on the radio around the entire world via the link below. I will be with Tiffany once a month to help fight stigma on mental health and empower and bring hope to those who suffer bipolar disorder. ~NJM~
http://internetradiopros.com/momentsofclarity/

TAN-AM 1340 Tampa

WDCF-AM 1350 Dade City

WZHR-AM 1400 Zephyrhills

Listen Live Online: tantalk1340.com

Or….

Momentsofclaritywithtiffany.com

Going live on Tiffany Werhner ~Moments of Clarity~updated~

Recently I was contacted by a wonderful woman Tiffany Werhner who is striving to enlighten and educate those who suffer mental health issues, She sends her message not only to those who are afflicted with the illness of the mind but also those who suffer loss and trauma . She works closely with the Individual to target and find the coping skills necessary to aide in recovery. She goes beyond that to educate and inform those willing to listen, learn, and break mental health stigma. 
What makes Tiffany stand out is she makes herself available and is open to her guest at anytime necessary if need be by calling her personally.
I too am working diligently to strive and successfully share her vision. Tiffany is a psychotherapist with an impressive background in her education and experience. She has the ability to get to the issues’ that are prevalent in her guest life.
Tiffany has her private practice. Unlike most clinical setting she took a step further to create an environment that is more like a guest visiting her home rather than a patient/ client in a clinical office. She strives to make her guest be open, without shame to strengthen and treat the individual to cultivate coping skills,and enhance their quality of life positively.
Tiffany also owns and operates a radio show with a wide range of guest to bring light to a world that still views mental health issues with stigma, and fear.
You can tune in to her show, and call in, she interacts with a diverse group of guest. You can listen to Tiffany Werhner on ” “Moments of Clarity” stationed in Clearwater Florida live on Tan Talk 1340-AM or 106.1-FM, WZHR -AM as well as 104.3-FM or on the Net at 

http://www.tantalk1340.com
She encourages the listeners to call in with questions or concerns.
Should you miss a show you can retrieve them through podcast either by clicking on the programs schedule, then click on the radio show you want to play, by going to 
httpwww.internetradiopros.com
The show airs every Thursday and Friday from 12-1.
I will be a guest on her radio broadcast on June 15th between 12-1, I feel privileged to take part as her guest on the dates above, I also hope to be privileged enough to be on her show monthly to help alleviate stigma and educate those willing to listen and learn.
I have a degree in psychology, I am diagnosed with Bipolar 1 and PTSD. I grew up with two mentally ill parents , I have great insight into many issues Tiffany touches upon on her talk show.
Join us and let’s stand up together to bring hope to those hurting and educate to break the stigma.
I look forward to this awesome opportunity, so I ask all my followers both on my blog and twitter to tune in and be enlightened and feel the hope and love that people like Tiffany and I strive to achieve. I will be going on show once a month I air again on July 13th then again in August I’ll have to look st my schedule to put it in post.

Also we are constantly looking for sponsors every bit helps so please contact me or the radio staton and help our cause if you can sponsor or have ideas on sponsorship thank you for taking time to read this post and be a follower of my work and poetry.

Sincerely

~NJM~

~My Message on Mental Illness~Change the World~Breaking Stigma one courageous step at a time~please hit the like button if you suffer mental illness~ thank you.

Lunacy of the mindCraziness of the heart Never letting go never to part. Mind racing from subject to subject

You see, the lunatic I speak of is me. I am always in thought, spinning out of control, mostly I care , I am an old soul.
Standing up, speaking out, I’ll educate, even during the lunatic state. Most creative in times of manic
As words flow like rhymes, I’ll feel the touch of something Devine. Thinking my self as super human impervious to danger, I’ll talk or walk up to any stranger.
Privileged to share my experience with some, but the heart of my message is yet to come. I feel overwhelmed favor when those want to know more about me, my illness and what I have done. Asking advice of me, listening well, I speak of only my truth to tell, to help, encourage, to give some hope, and strength, to no longer hide, but stand up with pride. Be who your are, this is the key that will get you far, far away from those who judge and doubt you, soon you will stand up and teach as I do.
My mission is simple to impart understanding, compassion from all in regard to mental illness both in the great and the small. Whether you deny or accept the truth that I speak will certainly convey whether you care or are weak, scared, judging our illness. We all have illness whether you care to admit. Like it or not we all are in this together, to weather the storm… By learning not judging will cause much less harm.
I’ll change this world, I’ll follow each step, with God next to me leading the way, waking each morning each day I pray.
Lord give me the strength to not run and hide, but the endurance to prevail and keep up in stride. I know I have a message to give, I’m certain this is why I’m still live. Should have died so many times in the past, but you watch over me making sure I last.
I’m the lyrical master of poetry and rhymes, but I’ll have much more to do than that to write in due time. Guiding my hand as I write down each word, trust in this, my message will be heard.
I’m coming into my own, took long enough to trudge through the shit all that mess it was ruff. Planted firmly I pray each and every day, not to sway or be fake, for the battle ahead is not mine to take. It’s left in hands stronger than mine, my Lord my King hands that’s Devine.
So let the words God gives me to say unto you inspire in me awaken the world their eyes to see, that so much unseen lurks all around, including mental illness to which many are bound. Let my enemies be left in your hands and lead me straight into your plans. I realize I’ll stumble along this path I must take,
But keep grounded alive and awake.
Let sleep renew each night in me, the courage the plans you entrusted to thee.
So when I feel beaten alone and deprived remember my purpose from you and why I’m alive. Thank you, and you, and you as well, you all in fact that God put in my path, whether you are still around or gone at long last.
Those who wish of me to go to hell and fail, sorry so sorry, for I will prevail. With God by my side and those who love me, in the right season you’re gonna see. May the reward of your intentions towards me I pray that soon oh so soon I shall see in the upcoming day. Much love, Namaste~