~Tangled Emotion~NJM~

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You Tangle my emotions

Tied them in a knot

Walked out my life leaving my heart to rot

As you slammed the door

I dropped to the floor

Getting stuck in the creases

Edges tathered torn

Grabbing for paper to write a letter….

But I am a typo

On written pages of life

With a message to convey

Not without perplexing one’s views

Part of the glitch

Some call me a bitch

Others a whore

Some say they need nothing more

I complete them

Impossible you see

If I can’t complete you

How the hell do I complete me

Tangled tied ripped upart, yet I’m still alive

Often I wonder is it chaos and tragedy on which I thrive

it’s all I know it’s how I survive go figure

~Do you Understand Freedom?

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This moment transparent

Lucid
Left empty without
World is mad
Crazy
Fast faster
Lights blurred by speed
Minutes tick tock
Pace of the clock
Can’t keep up
Burning bright star struck 
Retracting to pin point
Super nova
Creating more chaos
Born in the middle
Escape is not an option
On the edge of each paradigm 
Trying the edge of difference
Trapped in ignorance
Ability of beauty
Beauty captured by few
Few can capture
The moment
Chaotic beauty of clarity
Bowing out 
Off stage
Fast faster on we rage 
The world our cage
Freedom found only in loss
Nothing to lose
Freedom
That moment 
Beautiful naked free

  • 

~The Struggle~

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It’s always some struggle, because there is always some fight.
It’s always a struggle in the day and at night.

Egos at play
Words you can’t say
It makes it easy for our hearts to stray.

I place upon you,
You place upon me
We can never seem to just let it be.

Twisting and turning convoluted
In fashion.
Lacking control and abandoned compassion.

Brutal in truth
Standing your ground
Ominous atmosphere
Thick all around.

Minds that refrain
Lives in constant pain
Lives in the struggle
The never ending strain.

Pitiful characters are what comes to mind.
Knowing the struggle they constantly find.

Not For Reproduction~

~Preemptive~revised~

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Preemptive I suppose

I leave first

You silver tongue devil

You had me almost

But all of my life I stood by

With hope learning to cope

No more

Preemptive I am

Strike you down

Out of my sight

Purged from my mind

You can come to look

You will not find

Preemptive in love

Just as in war

I am a missile

I reach out so far

I’ll tear down your defenses

I close in on you all around

Slash your heart first

Never again it’s now

A curse

Laid upon me long ago

A trust can be broken only so many times

Am I confused unable to see

I breed in you and you breed in me

And we also bleed too!

Your deceit

Is a pool of my blood around your feet

My blood, my scars

No one can never cross far over my lines

Drawn in a particular way

So when I am done

I have the say

Preemptive

I can’t even make it a month

Thinking of what could be us

I see to much fault

You are not what I thought

Characteristics you portray

Soon fade away

So I jump out

Leaving you quickly

I can’t conceive

Why you can’t perceive

That I am no longer shackled

By love or sex

Well I’d like to think

Mortal coil craves

I’m human

I have my days

I’m preemptive

You wonder how you let go the best

It’s not you

It’s not a test

So go on your way

Give it a rest

Wait what did I just say?

Preemptive dear Darlin dear

Now feel the fate as it draws near~

~Moods 101~A Must read, especially Bipolar sufferers~

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Welcome to moods 101

Let’s hurry up, get this day done….

These stale corners of this life I live Days like these it’s hard to give… An inch, a mile,a simple smile. I lay in bed and mope awhile.
When emotions are sharp as a knife,And corners lose their curve,

It’s like a resounding screeching noise that sits on my last nerve.
These modes leave few to choose-The only way to try to win is instead to lose. Allowing the funk and muck to slosh all around, blocking out the environment and not allowing sound.
I will allow this feeling to slowly drain me dry, and somewhere in between each take I’ll stop to think and cry.
Then tomorrow like the miracle she always is, will unfold with moods anew… And all these crapy shitty moods will only be a few.