~~Endless Exits~

This gun is my friend, as you well see I kiss the end, of what is you and of me…..

It sits there like some offensive reminder ….. of exit door

But courage it takes

So I take that picture  then I quietly think…..
If I could ever get out from under the weight of this garbage
Maybe then I’d let the combustion out…
The steam roll off this sweltering pile of debri which is my life
Just my reflection in
The mirror is a contradiction
There is some sort of power in the weight of my words, it’s like it spills forth from a spring of knowledge of some unknown source from my lips these thoughts drip~my Catherism  speaks to me, I dare not protest

I realiz I could be like the rest however~
These words are a strange comfort to me, they will be waiting for me long after everyone else is gone.. They are solidly spoken.. Insight in times that are baffling yet enlightening~ and I kiss the tip of my gun all is real, not for fun~

~NJM~

 

 

 

 

 

 

~Him~How, Where & When?~

 Waking up thoughts all scattered. Once fully awake and gathered, she immediately feels the restless energy he emits… who else can feel him? I am the only one he keeps hidden yet I live in his mind, beat in his heart, swim in his blood.Know what? he does the same to me.
Life is not merely a series of meaningless acts or consequences. No oh no,you see…Life is but a tapestry of events that culminate into an exquisite sublime plan. May it slowly unfold into what is you and I. May we turn and spiral in the cosmic dance the one that brought us together by a planned chance~

Consistency …..And Sparta? Yes!!

I decided long ago consistency does count, but I forgot it is a two way street. I can’t be the only one striving for that attribute in any relationship. 
If you’re not able to also be acknowledgeable of me in consistent status, then I Guess you can’t run in my 300. Not many can it should be called my 3 lol. Since I barely trust anyone and I have two I can count on…. they run in my 3 …….. huh my 3…And play it out like 300.

Sparta! They consistently worked together to eventually defete an empire. It was dedication to the consistency that was beautiful. They moved as one unit.If you can’t communicate with me and act as a team as a unit then please do us all a favor stay away already.

I live in my Sparta and I’m gonna Conquer my distractions in many ways… May God be with me~ and may he be with you too~ God Speed~ we all need it~

~Bipolar Thoughts~Thoughts bemused~

~Machinations
Eclectic mind
So random without order
Content unknown
Images flash
Strewn about thoughts
Racing fast,
Flooding my brain invading
Concepts to conceptualize
Twisting
There is no pause
No stillness
To much to contemplate
Subjects subjective
Bursting
Perception yet perceived
By Intent
Only to be Crystallized~

~Bipolar Self Check & Cycles~

Being bipolar and knowing that patterns such as triggers and time frames, stress the very fact that we cycle is extremely important. History tends to repeat itself, many things repeat themselves, bipolar individuals happen to skid into this surreal area a little too often.

Wanna know something else all the meds in this world can’t  stop what I just mentioned. Lifestyle combined with a medicinal regiment can avert most travesty. But medicine alone can’t. I know. I’ve gone manic, in fact bonkers and was still on my meds. Was I fun, uh not really….well maybe for a bit, but only to myself.

Know something else,the company you keep, the person you may love can be the very trigger that spirals you off balance.

So the question I ask myself and you, are you gaining you right now? That’s right, are you gaining YOU? Or losing pieces here and there before you know it you’re everywhere, all the while thinking you’re put together or at least coming off that way. Hiding that Bipolar cloak and dagger in our pockets ready to pull that pocket inside out and release all that debris and shreds of crap at the bottom. You know the shit you feel in the empty pocket….looks like dust bunnies living there. Those dust bunnies are you, that debris is you and and all that pent up crap.

Are or you the cloth that the pocket is concealed in? Looking all sheik and stylish, but inside crying out with no voice? interesting how its this way or that and this goes for everyone bye the way, not just us bipolar people. People out there, you can learn a lot from those like me willing to share my life, thoughts, feelings, and you don’t have to have bipolar to gain insight either, this is a one size fits all kinda stuff that human beings go through. Just we may handle it a bit different.

I’m writing this for myself, for all those reading this, it’s self check time.

What is healthy? It’s having all YOUR needs met. Is this happening right now? Are do you feel short changed? I feel a bit short changed to tell you the truth. Hey, I am being honest.

Are you happy? Are or you up and down all the F’n way around and it’s due partially to the company you keep? Yeah I mean face it we all are a bit F’d up in our own way, but do we need more of it from others at specific turning points of our life? Crossroads….they are everywhere by the way, and just a reminder…uh.. they can happen any day.

Should you be alone? Yes! Sometimes being alone before polluted thinking takes over you, helps you to clearly see what you couldn’t before and remove yourself from any given situation whether it be love, business, friendships, or just being social at this time.

But living in this world you must take care of you first. You have nothing to give out to others no love or kindness if you don’t love yourself and are not genuinely kind to you.

The road ahead may be a bit stressful but if diplomatically approached you can ease through most anything bipolar or not.

These are my Bipolar Thoughts at this time, hope you got something out of it.

It’ my story, I’m sticking to it. What’s yours?

NJM~

~Going Live today from 12-1 East Coast time~If you Missed it~ Archives! Updates I put wrong Link to find Archives~

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