Am I a poetic tragedy in living form Fumbling around this earth
I’d rather be dead than be a cliche or martyr
Self deprecating is getting worn thin
Problem no courage no action taken
To exit
But instead I live on a roller coaster
For all the faith and love in the world can’t console me
Yet I know love exist for some
Enough to sustain
God watches me
But intervention upon Gods part
Is tricky and random
Consistency is needed
Daily lacking
Am I alone?
Isolated by illness
Lacking the love necessary
I’m sorry I’d just rather die~
Bipolar Tapestry~Poetic Thoughts 
I’ve never been “officially” diagnosed as bi-polar, but there are things that have made me wonder and I do have family members that have been diagnosed. It’s something I remain aware and pay attention to, so I can get help, if needed. But when I feel low, I feel so low that I can’t imagine being happy again. It’s a dark place and it feels impossible to be able to share how I feel during those times. Coming on WP and discussing it has helped tremendously, and I have been open to ideas to try and change things…
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Please expound on your ideas I’m eager to hear??
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I’m simply trying ideas people have suggested. For example, I hate myself 😂 So, it was suggested I read a book and attempt the exercises in the book as a means to become more self-loving…
I figured I had nothing to lose, so I’m trying it…I’m only 2 days into it, so maybe it works and maybe it doesn’t.
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Please share your results as you go along I’m interested
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I’m pretty open on my blog, but this particular endeavor, I’m detailing here:
https://tarnishedsoul.wordpress.com/category/beautiful-you-journal/
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I suffer from a mental disorder too, and I could most certainly relate to your words. They’re beautiful.
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I feel so alone in a room with my own son. I’m tired. Do I leave or stay. There has got to be another way…. Thank you for commenting… It does help to know you can feel me.
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I’m probably not the best person to tell you what to do, but there’s one thing that I know. You’ll eventually find a way out, and everything is very temporary, so it’s bound to get better. Take care.
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